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[Solifuge]

It very much worries me that in order to be treated we need to give all of our trust to these people whilst still being aware that they are humans with hosts of flaws themselves; like aforementioned patriarchal biases.
It's an intriguing dichotomy, to say the least.

Yeah. Trusting people, despite no person actually being 100% reliable is one of those things. It's hard, especially when given reminders like that, but trust is paradoxically required to be a functional human in society. In this case, he meant well, did the best he could with his experience, and seems to have admitted fault even. He's also still a trained professional, who has mostly done what he was being trusted to do; it's easy to blow up bad experiences and let them overwhelm your worldview, but that was one bad bit out of the rest of instances where he did well enough. Kinda have to keep the big picture in mind, I suppose.

[Bauglir]

Yeah, trust is hard. For all the dishonesty in the Security vs Liberty debate, there is a nugget of truth there - perfect safety would rob us of anything we want that safety to protect. When it gets to so basic a level as interpersonal trust, the only total safety is in oblivion. I wouldn't recommend it. You generally have to give up some measure of control over how you feel in order to feel what you want - which can be as terrifying as it is obtuse. But then, what most of us want is to be able to live with our identities respected, our feelings accepted, and our ideas appreciated. In other words, what we want to feel is the freedom from needing control in the first place.

The only way out, it seems to me, is to accept that the world may not work out the way you want it to if you let it - but that it certainly won't if you try to force it. You have to be willing to get burned, because it's the only way you're going to get the fire just right. You have to trust knowing you might be betrayed, love knowing you might be abandoned, believe knowing you might be wrong. You have to accept the risk, let it be a part of your life, and move on - or else you'll never get out from under the shadow of fear.

The world can be a cruel place, sometimes. But it's a beautiful one, too, if you can take it for what it is, instead of what it isn't.

[Jopax]

Speaking of trusting people. I think I'm in over my head, I'm not sure how much longer I can control my emotions or how taxing it's going to become. But I can't break it off because the person in question depends on me, and will depend on me for the next several months.


To make matters worse, I refused to trust my gut about a month ago, I hated myself for even thinking certain things, it was rather fucking bad let me tell you. I just got over it, things started to look better and it seemed I atleast subdued the raging self-doubt and my overthinking mind. Then I got told that my gut was right all along, and now I feel like I'm spiralling into the pit I was crawling out of.

Doesn't help that my mood has been somewhat soured by the exam that went shittily today.

And I was doing so well, figures I'd get shot and go down in flames, oh well, can't sink any lower when you're on the bottom.

[ChairmanPoo]

Yeah, trust is hard. For all the dishonesty in the Security vs Liberty debate, there is a nugget of truth there - perfect safety would rob us of anything we want that safety to protect. When it gets to so basic a level as interpersonal trust, the only total safety is in oblivion. I wouldn't recommend it. You generally have to give up some measure of control over how you feel in order to feel what you want - which can be as terrifying as it is obtuse. But then, what most of us want is to be able to live with our identities respected, our feelings accepted, and our ideas appreciated. In other words, what we want to feel is the freedom from needing control in the first place.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBEblJFagOo

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Been having plans to spend valentines day with my GF, we've been planning it for a couple weeks, she is just now telling me that we can't and that she had plans to hang out with her aunt that night

There goes half the day right down the fucking drain!

[CaptainMcClellan]

Been having plans to spend valentines day with my GF, we've been planning it for a couple weeks, she is just now telling me that we can't and that she had plans to hang out with her aunt that night

There goes half the day right down the fucking drain!

Yeah... Something similar might be happening with my planned trip to see my girlfriend for her birthday if I can't get some financial matters straight.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Well now she's canceling plans and mad, just because I wanted to get her flowers....
Just great...
I'm not sure if I'm mad or sad....



I hope it works out for you

[penguinofhonor]

.

[scrdest]

It turned out that the problem was that his internal identity was androgynous [which I had sort of been sensing for a while], and he just assumed everyone else with a strong sense of binary gender had just drunk too much societal Kool-Aid.

How do you get a doctorate in psychology and still think everyone else thinks the same way as you?

People are awful at recognizing their own biases, PhD or no PhD.

[penguinofhonor]

.

[Shook]

-snip-

"I don't know what I'm doing with my life" sympathy high five!

kabam

See, i'd love to just hang around and doodle things all day, but unfortunately, "Pro Doodler" isn't a job title, and at the moment i'm really not good enough to go professional ANYTHING. "But that's why you're studying, silly Shook!!" you say? Technically, yes. In reality though, it's already quite hard to convince myself to get up in the morning for a class that i won't be able to follow due to my current state of mind, and/or lack of interest, and it doesn't feel like it's about to get any easier. I really, really need to sort myself out before this gets out of hand.

Speaking of trusting people. I think I'm in over my head, I'm not sure how much longer I can control my emotions or how taxing it's going to become. But I can't break it off because the person in question depends on me, and will depend on me for the next several months.


To make matters worse, I refused to trust my gut about a month ago, I hated myself for even thinking certain things, it was rather fucking bad let me tell you. I just got over it, things started to look better and it seemed I atleast subdued the raging self-doubt and my overthinking mind. Then I got told that my gut was right all along, and now I feel like I'm spiralling into the pit I was crawling out of.

Doesn't help that my mood has been somewhat soured by the exam that went shittily today.

And I was doing so well, figures I'd get shot and go down in flames, oh well, can't sink any lower when you're on the bottom.

Shit, that sucks. I'm afraid i know all too much about falling back into the hole that one just climbed out of. The thing about these holes is that unlike regular sinkholes in dirt, these holes are lined with thin and slippery ropes that you have to balance on before getting away from it, and it's really not easy to balance on these ropes when you're exhausted from climbing out of a sinkhole. I really hope you make it through this, dude. :/

[Orange Wizard]

See, i'd love to just hang around and doodle things all day, but unfortunately, "Pro Doodler" isn't a job title, and at the moment i'm really not good enough to go professional ANYTHING. "But that's why you're studying, silly Shook!!" you say? Technically, yes. In reality though, it's already quite hard to convince myself to get up in the morning for a class that i won't be able to follow due to my current state of mind, and/or lack of interest, and it doesn't feel like it's about to get any easier. I really, really need to sort myself out before this gets out of hand.

If you doodle enough things you might even get people who want to see them. Sky's the limit, unless you get a spacesuit.

[WillowLuman]

If you compile a book of comics, there's a chance you can get it sold. I'd buy one, having seen your stuff.

[Fniff]

Indeed. I remember you making a kid's book that was pretty awesome to read. Hell, do a webcomic and I bet you'd get loads of people.

[Graknorke]

Gods no don't do a webcomic. The internet is barely over the Penny Arcade imitator "gold"rush. You should probably leave any webcomicing for a few years...decades... actually maybe it won't ever go away.
Illustrator is totally a real job that people do though.