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[JoshuaFH]

I'm not in college, I work at night. It's really isolating.

There's a Delta College within 30-ish minutes from my house, but that's more for continued education than whatever occurs at big institutions.

[Tiruin]

I had the idea of what I wanted to say, I just suddenly got scared and indecisive. Because I haven't followed through on the shit we talked about, and my exercise is very unimpressive, I just got insecure and couldn't talk. I wasted the whole hour just looking down at my hands, trying to articulate but only muttered to myself.

I can see why he lost his patience with me, I've been seeing him for so long, more than a year now, and I'm still just a loser that's wasting his time.

I'll just cancel any future appointments, think of something else to do with myself. Whatever that is.

You just started exercising. That's pretty fucking rad bro. You're doing better than I am. I had to sign up for credit to exercise, and even then I picked fucking badminton.

You're doing a good job with the exercise. Keep it up man. You're changing. It's slow but that's how everything starts.

Freeze when thinking the orange part, kuya That's what's aiding getting ya down.

Did you admit you were scared to him? Do you attach many other things in between? Trust that dude! Even if you clam up--trust him afterwards. Part of this is how you regard yourself, too. How self-aware ya are, and how to deal with it.

Chin up Joshua. You can do this Try typing it out in text what you want to say, or not think of the step 2 before acting step 1 when talking to him.

You can do this thing!

[JoshuaFH]

I already cancelled our next appointment, and I told my Mom to just ignore calls from the place.

He's already lost his patience with me, there's just nothing more I think can be done.

[Tiruin]

I already cancelled our next appointment, and I told my Mom to just ignore calls from the place.

He's already lost his patience with me, there's just nothing more I think can be done.

These things are not permanent, usually. Sometimes, moods take over. These are only impossible when you stop trying. It's always hard at first, to try against the feelings and assumptions, but keep trying there. Maybe apologize a bit, and explain why you didn't {talk}. Nothing bad on that note. :O

You don't give up on yourself.

[Foamybeard]

I already cancelled our next appointment, and I told my Mom to just ignore calls from the place.

He's already lost his patience with me, there's just nothing more I think can be done.

I hate to be that one guy, but speaking as someone who has Cyclical Depression (and is a horrendous cynic)  and has gone through this sort of thing more times than I can count - You are being incredibly self destructive. You messed up, so you quit, instead of facing the fact that you messed up and bucking up and moving on. You are right, Joshua, you DID waste his time, but not by messing up - But by quitting and hiding from the problem instead of facing it like a (wo?)man.

[Arx]

Good luck, Josh. Remember most people aren't dicks and just want to help you!


I've been hitting my limits recently, and I haven't even been pushing very hard. I hope this heat breaks soon, I think it's partly to blame. Running four and a half kilometers in thirty-five degrees before running to catch a bus, after nine hours of work without a break, does not motivate one to continue working.

Also interpersonal drama that doesn't directly affect me but is making my friends irritated.

[Spehss _]

Feeling particularly fed up with life today. Everything is annoying me or depressing me. Feel like trying to do something productive, and there's definitely schoolwork I should work on at some point, but at the same time all I want to do is sleep.

[Baffler]

Just finished watching Up for the first time. It was really good, but I haven't been so sad because of a cartoon since that Futurama episode where they try to clone Fry's dog.

[i2amroy]

Just finished watching Up for the first time. It was really good, but I haven't been so sad because of a cartoon since that Futurama episode where they try to clone Fry's dog.

The beginning was sad enough that my dad (who is not a fan of sad movies) actually said "if this doesn't get happier in the next 5 minutes I'm leaving" when we watched it. (Of course he loved the rest of it though!)

[WillowLuman]

Just finished watching Up for the first time. It was really good, but I haven't been so sad because of a cartoon since that Futurama episode where they try to clone Fry's dog.

Ooooh, that opening

Leave it to Pixar to break your heart with a single transition shot.

[TD1]

I loved UP.

It was well done.

[WillowLuman]

Now I'm sad because I'm remembering it didn't win Best Picture that year.

[Truean]

I've come to the realization that most adults are at best 2 year olds mentally and certainly emotionally.

Whether it's a boss, a client, a customer, a parent, a spouse, or an actual kid, they all "just" want something. And they are incapable of getting it.

Their response is to whine and bitch and complain and be hurtful like a 2 year old throwing a fucking tantrum.  They're just malfunctioning and sadly they do it very loudly while blaming me, because I don't look like the kind of person who would rear back and slap them into a wall.

The whole world has these crazy and unattainable expectations. The shareholders want MORE money quicker, forever. The boss wants more work done faster and cheaper. The client or customer wants everything for free, now. The spouse also wants this. The kid is the same way but at least they have a good excuse on account of being a kid.

My problem was, I couldn't stop myself from internalizing this shit.
.
I've been asked to take more cases, and I won't. Fuck it. I'm not getting yelled at by every jackass who thinks they know more about shit than I do, when I do this shit professionally. I just don't care anymore. I know exactly how people get beaten down in this situation, because assholes won't shut up.

I have no idea how to constructively deal with this criticism anymore, and I have just been NOT doing it, because I can't anymore. Everyone is sitting there nit picking my ass apart when I've been doing FREAKING great when looked at from above and in context.

It just seems like everytime I go to do something, it gets nit picked apart either before, during, or after it's done. That doesn't help for shit. All it does is discourage me from doing anything else next time. Keep in mind, there is no better way to do things than the one I'm doing. It's just increasingly unreasonable demands from EVERYONE. Discouraging. De motivating. It's actually harmful, because it makes me less productive and I get less done by listening to these people, who complain more if ignored.

How do you deal with the absolute shittiest abusive customers? I'm looking at you people who work retail, because if you should happen to have any tips, I would be ever so appreciative. Thank you for your time.

[Vector]

.

[Mephansteras]

Relatively minor ragesad:

My mom told me that neither I nor my sister are allowed to listen to music while doing math or homework anymore, because it makes us not concentrate. I asked why, she said she didn't see me answer any math questions in knowledge bowl and that's because I spend all of my time like this *does a mock of a dumb-looking person staring up at the sky, mouth open*. I told her music actually helped me. "Is it classical music?"
"_{uh... n-n... *mumblemumble*}"
"Well then. Only classical music helps. Otherwise you get distracted."

So, yeah. Now I can't listen to music.
I can't even describe how much it helped me to have music while thinking. It actually created a positive feedback loop, where I enjoyed the music, which made me enjoy working more and made me feel less tired, so my mind started to associate work with a small bit of fun, making me more willing to work. It helped me maintain focus for long periods of time, and even when I got distracted by the music it was rarely more than a minute or two before I got back to work, with renewed enjoyment. If there is too much silence, I'll often either get tired and bored and zone out, or I'd get anxious, start thinking too quickly and zone out.

I really hate the veto power some people get.
This and other things made me sad today.

I honestly suggest getting some classical music to listen to, given your situation. Yeah, it's dumb that you mom won't let you listen to anything else, but classical music that you like should get you a similar effect. And there is a lot of good stuff out there, you just need to find out what kinds you enjoy.