Went to family counseling today. Normally it's not bad, but this time my dad started crying about how "he's mourning his son" and how "his son is gone and a person he doesn't know has replaced him."
I tried to put a happy spin on it and tell him that in losing a son he's gained a daughter but he didn't even let me finish before snapping back at me. "Oh shut up! It's not even about that!" So I bit my tongue at sat in seething silence until he was done crying like a baby because his family didn't turn out the way he'd hoped.
What I wanted to say was, "Oh be quiet. You don't even know how good you have it right now. You're working your dream job and you have a wife who loves you. You have two (in your own words) incredibly smart daughters and dozens upon dozens of hugely supportive friends. You have a house. You have two cats and a dog. What do I have? I barely have a roof over my head. I'm unemployed, on food stamps, almost all of the few friends I have live in other states or countries and I've only ever had one relationship that lasted over a month. Stop making out like you're the victim because one thing out of the myriad hopes and dreams you had as a kid didn't pan out. You have it better than a lot of people, including me. You want a son? Go adopt a fucking son. I've never been your son and I was never going to be. Get the fuck over it and definitely stop trying to guilt trip me over something that's not even my fault."
What I actually said was, "Yea, I understand that."
To put into consideration, the reasoning is various and large, but also be reminded that beliefs change from time to time--he may have underlying beliefs which causes him to, somehow, see you(?) as a person being changed because of...gender.
Which is an ultimately minor portion comprising who you are, as its a holistic thing. If its possible, inquire with the counselor to approach that topic to explain it. What you're seeing there, from my guess, is one person's viewpoint
without knowing certain ideas on why that viewpoint is hurtful.In those cases--they don't think about those blessings
to compare, but rather something pertinent to the situation on what they think is being lost (which is why I ask to approach the counselor or any other third-party, so other viewpoints can aid you; when one has...a significant assumption of who you are, that really doesn't match reality or how things really are, it'd be varyingly difficult to persuade otherwise, depending on the agreeability of the person. But a general baseline is to keep on inquiring under the face of misunderstanding intent, rather than concluding and judging.)
Still: *hugs much*
We're in a time and age where old beliefs are being refurbished into better beliefs, though.
Author
Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9787764 times)