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[timferius]

Well I wasn't sad........

[Eric Blank]

I'ts so goddamn cold tonight. I can't feel my anything. The cat won't even sleep in her suitcase tonight; she's sleeping under my legs, keeping my nuts from falling off, and I am grateful. Too bad about my toes, though.

This would suck much less if this cabin had some form of insulation beyond the 1/4 inch plywood walls and single pane windows. And some electricity, maybe a master propane tank that can last more than a week. Gotta caulk up the cracks where the walls and ceiling meet. Might help. Or we might suffocate if we cut off too much circulation. But hey, at least suffocation=\freezingtodeath.

Also, I probably botched my interview today, and they literally had no openings available this side of Spokane. Not sure why I even bothered...

[Yoink]

Slept in 'til around 2-3PM.
I am so sick of living here, where I can't stick to my old sleep schedule. I sleep this late a lot, and I'm tired pretty much always.

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

Godamnit, why am I such an idiot, I'm always such a little ignorant douchbag until I can finally see how much of a moron I was when it's a billon times too late.

Everything I do descends into freak out self-deprecation time but I never think about it before I do it, I go 'oh, this Mafia game needs a new player! Why don't I join in? Pm time!' And for the next couple days I feel like crap because I'm the mafia and what if I've done this wrong, this wrong, and it never leads to anything, ever, just another few days feeling like crap and the rest of my life feeling stupid because of it.

Of course it doesn't help that I'm socially inept and that I turn into some sort of 'I'm better than everyone' ego-centric idiot, the same people I hate the most.
And whenever I finally and inevitably break down, people help, they always help, and I never deserve it.

I try to run an RTD and 3 days later, I feel crappy enough to freak out and leave the forum for a month.
I think myself great for getting through things without others helping, things which for normal people, isn't even a blip on their emotional radar.

And when I do screw up, my brain doesn't let me forget it, it's been years and even the smallest things I can't forget, forever my brain reminds me of every little incident I had, every little idiotic thing I did.

But my life should be so much better, I'm spoiled rotten, I have a great life, people who care for me, amazing luck, and I can't even tell them anything.

Why do I even try.

[WillowLuman]

Cut off my fingertip this morning at work, still hasn't stopped bleeding.

It's slow typing one-handed.

Also: Fuck you ninjas!!

Wait, like the whole thing, or the flesh in front of the fingernails?

[The Scout]

Sickness strikes again! Facial rash has come back with a vengeance, along with extreme nausea(dry heaving sucks) and chest pain/difficulty breathing.
Despite it being 12 AM, I still have the DFC chat to sorta cheer me up.


To Execute, you seem really nice. Everyone makes mistakes, so try not to beat yourself up when you make any. The whole, "I fucked up people's fun" thing I can relate to, but they don't mind if you screw up. Also, you can PM pretty much anyone here if you need help or feedback on your actions. That might be a good way to help with your anxiety, if you're willing to try.


Sidenote: These commas are costing me a fortune.

[hops]

Why can't we just shorten LGBT to NCH?

[Tiruin]

Today's feels brought to you by imgur and 4chan greentext.

Also partly sad that the person experiencing it doesn't get that it [suicide] was a developed thing ._. (my wording is very messy and I don't wish to convey the wrong reaction)
Though it is sad as a whole. It's...not fully right however, to judge that one single event as if it stopped it from happening. That people don't just off themselves just like that but...mmph.

To Execute, you seem really nice. Everyone makes mistakes, so try not to beat yourself up when you make any. The whole, "I fucked up people's fun" thing I can relate to, but they don't mind if you screw up. Also, you can PM pretty much anyone here if you need help or feedback on your actions. That might be a good way to help with your anxiety, if you're willing to try.

This. E/D.exe

Godamnit, why am I such an idiot, I'm always such a little ignorant douchbag until I can finally see how much of a moron I was when it's a billon times too late.

Everything I do descends into freak out self-deprecation time but I never think about it before I do it, I go 'oh, this Mafia game needs a new player! Why don't I join in? Pm time!' And for the next couple days I feel like crap because I'm the mafia and what if I've done this wrong, this wrong, and it never leads to anything, ever, just another few days feeling like crap and the rest of my life feeling stupid because of it.

Of course it doesn't help that I'm socially inept and that I turn into some sort of 'I'm better than everyone' ego-centric idiot, the same people I hate the most.
And whenever I finally and inevitably break down, people help, they always help, and I never deserve it.

I try to run an RTD and 3 days later, I feel crappy enough to freak out and leave the forum for a month.
I think myself great for getting through things without others helping, things which for normal people, isn't even a blip on their emotional radar.

And when I do screw up, my brain doesn't let me forget it, it's been years and even the smallest things I can't forget, forever my brain reminds me of every little incident I had, every little idiotic thing I did.

But my life should be so much better, I'm spoiled rotten, I have a great life, people who care for me, amazing luck, and I can't even tell them anything.

Why do I even try.

Never use that question as leverage to give up. You've several factors which contribute to growing and getting the better of all of this--problem being is that you seem to delve too deep into thinking about it. Comparing the ideals of forgetting things, suppressing the memory (in this context) wouldn't help at all: you won't learn if you do not recall. The adage of forgive and forget applies; this means that you should approach the problem and how it happened, what could've been done to change any future possibility of a similar occurrence being recursive.

Though this should be brought up with someone there who could assess you better given the impact of the situation (ie someone who can judge you more fairly than here--while it can be judged fairly, I'm also talking about long-past experiences which could...pretty much be more efficiently aided if there). :O

Note the 'what if' part. It goes on a possibility and worries that its the most distinct, possible, and what is happening right now idea, instead of considering it in a possibility field (as one factor anyway).

And another note: Everyone deserves support. Relating in a very general idea: the worst of society became that way because of the lack of support (and humanity shown towards them), or rather their past experiences complementing with how they deal with their current situation/environment.

Wrongs happen because of reasons--in your case, its a personal point. Assess yourself, and seek out others who can aid you in your locale (most possibly someone who knows you pretty much). Or...in the full lack of support [or doubt that anyone can help you there], go online and ask/search for aid that way.

[Spehss _]

Why can't we just shorten LGBT to NCH?

Because NCH is a less decipherable anagram analog word-thingy made out of the first letters of other words.

No idea what NCH stands for.

[The Scout]

Why can't we just shorten LGBT to NCH?

Because NCH is a less decipherable anagram analog word-thingy made out of the first letters of other words.

No idea what NCH stands for.

Non-Cis/Hetero? Prolly wrong.

[hops]

Why can't we just shorten LGBT to NCH?

Because NCH is a less decipherable anagram analog word-thingy made out of the first letters of other words.

No idea what NCH stands for.

Non-Cis/Hetero? Prolly wrong.

Yep.

I mean really, I know LGBT is supposed to be inclusive and stuffs but it seems like that there are no many categories of queers that "LGBT" just doesn't cut it anymore, so they might as well just recognize that it's supposed to mean anyone who isn't heterosexual and cisgendered.

[Orange Wizard]

Person?

If we're going for inclusive, let's include everybody! Then we can stop giving a shit what subspecies of trans (or gay, or whatever) any given is and get back to more important things.

[LordSlowpoke]

you can't include everybody because this includes cis people and that's bigoted

i learned that a while ago, pretty cool innit

[Orange Wizard]

That's unbelievably retarded.

[LordSlowpoke]

isn't it?

such are the standards though vOv