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[McDonald]

I'm glad you read my message, 4mask! <3

* McDonald hugs everyone

[4maskwolf]

Well, that went better than expected, I suppose.

Went to the manager to talk about the threatening coworker problem from two days ago, but another coworker who was in the room when it happened already explained the situation to them, and explained that it was definitely not my fault.
The didn't explain the part where he actually threatened me, so I mentioned that part, and they said they'll take care of the issue.
I don't work with the guy today, so it shouldn't be too bad.
*Sighs of relief*
*Also joins in hugs*

HUZZZAH!

[timferius]

Argh. Been hanging out with a friend of mine at work a lot, since she moved back down from the GTO. I'm starting to feel like every time we hang out there's at least one dig at one of my faults. I'll start singing something to myself and she'll tell me to stop it's terrible, or she'll flip out because I open my mouth briefly while chewing, or other minor things. Just starting to be constantly aware of all my faults and quirks when I'm around her, it's not a great feeling. Blargh.

[mastahcheese]

Have you considered not being around them?
Or is that not an option?

[DJ]

Just tell her that it's bothering you.

[timferius]

Have you considered not being around them?
Or is that not an option?

Well but, in general we're really close friends, so it'd suck to just cut that off.

Just tell her that it's bothering you.

Ya, this is the proper solution, I'm just not looking forward to the conversation because I hate conflict.

[Tiruin]

Have you considered not being around them?
Or is that not an option?

Well but, in general we're really close friends, so it'd suck to just cut that off.

Just tell her that it's bothering you.

Ya, this is the proper solution, I'm just not looking forward to the conversation because I hate conflict.

Maybe ask her why she's doing that?

[DJ]

Conversations like that between closer friends shouldn't be much of a conflict.

[timferius]

Conversations like that between closer friends shouldn't be much of a conflict.

Well, I think it's a weird anxiety thing. I haven't actually talked to a doctor or anything about it, but it crops up a lot, so I should. I know it probably won't be a big deal to talk it out, and she'll probably even apologize, she's not a bad person or anything. But the potential is there and that's what I fear. I know it's irrational.

[scrdest]

Conversations like that between closer friends shouldn't be much of a conflict.

Well, I think it's a weird anxiety thing. I haven't actually talked to a doctor or anything about it, but it crops up a lot, so I should. I know it probably won't be a big deal to talk it out, and she'll probably even apologize, she's not a bad person or anything. But the potential is there and that's what I fear. I know it's irrational.

Well, it sounds like you're either:

a) Afraid of losing the friendship, which in itself is normal and commendable, but if you take it too far you ran into the risk of falling victim to abusive interpersonal relationships - if someone makes you feel like shit, they either do it unwittingly, in which case you should tell her that it makes you feel bad for the benefit of both of you, or knowingly, in which case they are the ones who should take steps to make sure YOU are the one interested in continuing the friendship, although you stated this is not the case; or

b) Afraid of conflict itself, which suggests that you think, consciously or not, that you're going to lose - which means you don't think your case is good enough. Well, it is. Emotional abuse, intentional or not, ain't a thing anyone should be free to dish out.

Also, she seems really, really neurotic. Or she cares far less about the friendship than you.

[Tiruin]

Conversations like that between closer friends shouldn't be much of a conflict.

Well, I think it's a weird anxiety thing. I haven't actually talked to a doctor or anything about it, but it crops up a lot, so I should. I know it probably won't be a big deal to talk it out, and she'll probably even apologize, she's not a bad person or anything. But the potential is there and that's what I fear. I know it's irrational.

Well, it sounds like you're either:

a) Afraid of losing the friendship, which in itself is normal and commendable, but if you take it too far you ran into the risk of falling victim to abusive interpersonal relationships - if someone makes you feel like shit, they either do it unwittingly, in which case you should tell her that it makes you feel bad for the benefit of both of you, or knowingly, in which case they are the ones who should take steps to make sure YOU are the one interested in continuing the friendship, although you stated this is not the case; or

b) Afraid of conflict itself, which suggests that you think, consciously or not, that you're going to lose - which means you don't think your case is good enough. Well, it is. Emotional abuse, intentional or not, ain't a thing anyone should be free to dish out.

Also, she seems really, really neurotic. Or she cares far less about the friendship than you.

Err, only if what is usually assumed, is what is.
As in, who tim is describing may not equal a D:< kind of person (snappy, with the paranoid//suspicious look when he does something something, controlling...), meaning appended aspects to the attitude. Hopefully it isn't that bad.

[timferius]

She doesn't strike me as the malicious sort, I think it's genuinely more of a "tends to not consider the effects of her comments on others" rather than a "makes mean comments to feel better' or something darker like that. The solution really is having a chat with her. I mean, either she doesn't mean it and works on it and our friendship improves as a result, or she refutes it and we drift apart. Keeping it at the status quo will just leave me resentful, and we'll definitely drift apart, so the best chance I have is to talk.

Conversations like that between closer friends shouldn't be much of a conflict.

Well, I think it's a weird anxiety thing. I haven't actually talked to a doctor or anything about it, but it crops up a lot, so I should. I know it probably won't be a big deal to talk it out, and she'll probably even apologize, she's not a bad person or anything. But the potential is there and that's what I fear. I know it's irrational.

Well, it sounds like you're either:

a) Afraid of losing the friendship, which in itself is normal and commendable, but if you take it too far you ran into the risk of falling victim to abusive interpersonal relationships - if someone makes you feel like shit, they either do it unwittingly, in which case you should tell her that it makes you feel bad for the benefit of both of you, or knowingly, in which case they are the ones who should take steps to make sure YOU are the one interested in continuing the friendship, although you stated this is not the case; or

b) Afraid of conflict itself, which suggests that you think, consciously or not, that you're going to lose - which means you don't think your case is good enough. Well, it is. Emotional abuse, intentional or not, ain't a thing anyone should be free to dish out.

Also, she seems really, really neurotic. Or she cares far less about the friendship than you.

I think it's b) in that one, as it's not just this situation/person. I'm assuming it has something to do with my relationship with my mother (I love her, but she always has to be right. I'm not sure I've ever heard her concede a point...). But that's something I'm going to have to work out with a therapist or something, once I get to that point (I'm 27, I SHOULD be able to bring myself to visit a bloddy doctor about my issues, but it's easy to put off...).

[scrdest]

@Tiru - what I meant is more along the lines of 'volatile' - she gets set off by minor things, then does things out of sheer momentum and emotional inertia... wow, I've gotten really, uh, physical here (who the hell decided that the words pertaining to an academic field and to something usually contrasted with 'mental' or 'spiritual' needs to have his head bashed in. With a textbook.).

@timferius - Ah, I can see where you're coming from - I have the same thing, except compartmentalized to just interactions with her, and even that I'm trying to counteract. My mum is that kind of arguer that's just horrible to fight with - hell, when my parents were divorcing, she outtalked one of the top lawyers in the city in court, and she's an MD. And it takes a rocket-propelled diamond-tipped sharpened metal pole of an argument to get to her.

[miauw62]

Today was... Eh. Not sure why it was bad, but frustration was building up. Good thing I'm home now.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

this is what i get for not eating this morning
*stomach begins eating itself