Yeah, it's not a communication problem. It's that we're a really awful match for each other, but we ended up together by a bizarre set of circumstances, then had a kid, and do genuinely care about each other. We've been together for 13 years. Our 10-year wedding anniversary is actually a couple months away. We understand our thing and just do our best to deal with it in our own ways.
She has actually improved a lot on the stuff I mentioned, but that hasn't prevented me from also evolving into behaviors that don't provoke her issues. Most of the time I can socialize mostly normally anymore and I do relax and do so once in a while, but then there will be some random outburst of conflict over something and it will remind me of how things used to be and I'll revert to being reclusive... because nobody can understand how much that sucks as a social situation until they've experienced it.
I don't have the energy to fight anymore. I have a 40-hour workweek across two freelance jobs and don't get weekends off. I'd rather spend all my time that's left studying math and creating things, rather than arguing with people about what they think about women doing math and creating things. Barely read the forums anymore, actually.
Yeah, me, too. I'm not going anywhere in the near future, though. I've said it before, and I mean it: this is my internet home, although I do find myself in fewer and fewer threads nowadays (mostly just the feels threads, and my own game thread like, once every few months.)
I also don't have the time and energy to keep up with the forums like I used to, which makes me sad. I rarely check the feels threads anymore :/
As depressing as FedEx was, I do miss having time to browse while at work. Even though I would get in trouble for it, I got my work done. Now if I tried, I wouldn't get my work done, and get in shitloads of trouble.
Anyway,
anyone who wants to should add me on Steam.