Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Descan]

* Descan shanks GO

* Descan runs awaaaaay

[Bauglir]

Still feeling like I don't have a direction in life and I'm just sitting in a pile of failed or half-finished projects that don't interest me anymore, biding my time until I'm back in an academic environment (college) with a well-defined goal again.

This has been my literal last three weeks, as I've put my entire life on pause while trying to find a place to live and refused to unpack properly so that I don't get comfortable in what's supposed to be a temporary arrangement. If I can't find something within the next couple of days I'm going to have to bite the bullet, set up shop in my mother's basement, and hash out a reasonable rent plan, because I need more than a box with a functioning web browser in order to do classwork/stay sane in the long term.

There was so many half-finished projects I wanted to half-finish a bit more thoroughly this month, and it's all been wasted because I don't have the tools to work on them and every gamble I've taken has failed to pan out. Of course, I know this is just taking advantage of an external source of trouble to avoid the knowledge that I probably wasn't going to get that much done anyway, but even so.

I think the contractor was just very upset because there was somebody saying he couldn't do his job that day. He thinks I'm lying/full of crap/ stupid/ making it up. He lives in a world where the wood gets measured and then cut. Land doesn't work like that, and he won't believe it.

Ecchhh that's rough spot to be in for you. It's especially frustrating when you're trying to be helpful. I hope fewer clients are dickwaffles in your direction in the future. Getting upset is one thing, taking it out on a convenient target's another.

It was a chronic leak I was exposed to for the past two weeks, and I'm still having resultant problems with depression. Whee, depression. I was doing so much better, but now I'm back to sobbing for multiple hours a day every day. I hope it's not permanent. I am alive, though, and if it didn't cause too much brain damage, soon this will just be a memory.

Oh. Well. Uh, maybe not so much on the "functioning detectors" bit, then.

I hope you're back up to 100% soon.

[Hanslanda]

I am rather depressed. I am making poor choices with my life. :/

[Spehss _]

I'm going to college tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it about as much as I look forward to anything. With dread. Lots of dread.

This is going to be so much fun. And by fun I mean horrible. I'm not going to get into the college of music. Or the highly competitive audio engineering department. I haven't been practicing enough and have no real prior experience with recording or editing, despite having equipment to at least dabble with and having more than enough time to at least try. No motivation to do it. Don't want to do it. The dream is dead. The thought of doing it now just stresses me out, because it's a thing I have to be "good" at. Everything stresses me out. Doing nothing stresses me out. And if I'm not doing music crap then there's nothing else I would want to major in. There's no reason for me to be doing this college shit. There's nothing I want to do, because everything I've ever tried to do has just made me miserable. I have no plans for the future. I have no future. So I'm a failure.

I swear I'm never happy anymore. Just temporarily distracted from the stress and misery and fear of failure.

So, in conclusion, wah wah wah, angst angst angst, FML.

[BFEL]

I am rather depressed. I am making poor choices with my life. :/

Is it wrong that I can't help but think of Hans as one of those Facebook girls who gives a vague statement about being sad and then ignores everyone who asks what's wrong?

Granted I suppose its different, because I know Hans did lots of drugs and such, but still, is so annoying.

[Scelly9]

Well, this is kinda the sad thread sooooooo.....

[alway]

Also a post history of over 8300 posts; I'm sure you could glean something from that. A 'whole history of my life' summary isn't really necessary, as it's already there for most people here.

[Orange Wizard]

one of those Facebook girls who gives a vague statement about being sad and then ignores everyone who asks what's wrong?

At least he's not posting on the photo share thread going "omg im sooo ugly!!!1!one".

[Tiruin]

Carbon monoxide leak/poisoning.

You going to be ok?

I hope so. Glad you got out, Vector. Hooray for functioning detectors?

It was a chronic leak I was exposed to for the past two weeks, and I'm still having resultant problems with depression. Whee, depression. I was doing so much better, but now I'm back to sobbing for multiple hours a day every day. I hope it's not permanent. I am alive, though, and if it didn't cause too much brain damage, soon this will just be a memory.

Well, it shouldn't be. Just need to wait for the red blood cells that the stuff's bound to to get out of your system. And, in all likelihood, you've probably not received brain damage. Or, at a minimum, no permanent brain damage. The brain functions remarkably well without sufficient oxygen, it just doesn't work properly.

And if it was severe, they'd have probably gone and given you some blood transfusions to keep your oxygen up.

^
Without knowing the specifics, you're more alright than not. While CO is poisonous to the body, there're limits to how much you can 'contain' [excuse my terms -_- I'm not good with them in exacts]. Hemoglobin and all, they'll get filtered out in time as greatorder said.
Just a general reference.
Constant exposure over a long period of time and in high amounts is, however, deadly. Given your case now? You're alright. If there's any sign of permanent damage, check it up.
...And I'm unsure if depression is linked to that at all ._. Wishing you well over there Vector...Dealing with thoughts needs time, understanding and reinforcement. Don't let the :c thoughts win. Some of them are attachments of feeling to an idea and some of them are just >_>

Also *hugs to all the people here*

I'm going to college tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it about as much as I look forward to anything. With dread. Lots of dread.

This is going to be so much fun. And by fun I mean horrible. I'm not going to get into the college of music. Or the highly competitive audio engineering department. I haven't been practicing enough and have no real prior experience with recording or editing, despite having equipment to at least dabble with and having more than enough time to at least try. No motivation to do it. Don't want to do it. The dream is dead. The thought of doing it now just stresses me out, because it's a thing I have to be "good" at. Everything stresses me out. Doing nothing stresses me out. And if I'm not doing music crap then there's nothing else I would want to major in. There's no reason for me to be doing this college shit. There's nothing I want to do, because everything I've ever tried to do has just made me miserable. I have no plans for the future. I have no future. So I'm a failure.

I swear I'm never happy anymore. Just temporarily distracted from the stress and misery and fear of failure.

So, in conclusion, wah wah wah, angst angst angst, FML.

The conclusion does not match the description--it's like a downplaying of a problem there :s
Anyone to aid ya over there with your outlook? It seems there're tiny bits of thought there that are coloring your perception judging by the many uses of general words (ie Everything/Nothing) and...then placing them to describe all your actions. Stop fearing failure when it isn't even happening, and even then, look at how sensible it is; do convince yourself that fear is not in the present, but it stares [= Focuses] on a possibility. Then check how that possibility comes about before you believe in it.

Try talking to your parents [any experienced people there] about what inhibits you? Because seeing how the words develop here it seems there's a big leap of 'just because I don't have it in the now means I will never have it'.
....Erm, how do I describe leaping to conclusions here :S
^{Also...I really doubt you should be 'good' at music to join the college of music. I can see you've the aptitude for it. Why not go for it?}


Sad: Mmph, english wording skills may be a bit unhinged today -_- Gah. Can't get the impact in my sentences right. Sorry.
Related sads: My sister and her family came up to visit for the weekend.
Sister and my niece are both sick. Flu, most probably. My niece is crying, and has been crying since the last hours because of the pain :S
And that makes me recall my times as an infant with the same pains...oh dear

[SalmonGod]

Vacation has sucked.  I've had no more free time this past week than I would have if I were working.  Shit that needs immediate attention just keeps coming at me out of nowhere every day :[   I need a real fucking vacation.

[Arx]

Sad: Mmph, english wording skills may be a bit unhinged today -_- Gah. Can't get the impact in my sentences right. Sorry.

Tiru, your English is better than that of most native speakers. Don't worry about it!

Vacation has sucked.  I've had no more free time this past week than I would have if I were working.  Shit that needs immediate attention just keeps coming at me out of nowhere every day :[   I need a real fucking vacation.

It sucks when that happens. Is there any chance of your superiors being human enough to at least pay you more for it? Or give you additional leave, or somesuch.

[SalmonGod]

Vacation has sucked.  I've had no more free time this past week than I would have if I were working.  Shit that needs immediate attention just keeps coming at me out of nowhere every day :[   I need a real fucking vacation.

It sucks when that happens. Is there any chance of your superiors being human enough to at least pay you more for it? Or give you additional leave, or somesuch.

Not a chance.  It's no fault of theirs, and I live in the U.S.

[hops]

one of those Facebook girls who gives a vague statement about being sad and then ignores everyone who asks what's wrong?

At least he's not posting on the photo share thread going "omg im sooo ugly!!!1!one".

* Objective sneezes.

Also I get how you feel, Tiruin. When English isn't your native language it's kind of hard not to feel like it's unnatural if you worded something awkwardly. I still have some trouble with that, although I'm getting better. You can see on my first post here that I sound like I'm Spock.

[TD1]

Let's be brief here:
We don't have a massive group of cats and dogs because we prevent them from breeding.

I say that male pet cats should be available for castration to prevent catsplosion.

This should also be available for dogs as well, but of course, not birds.

I know this might be a bit hard to do, but it's the only way to stop them.

Meh, not bad at all. I wouldn't assume you were a non-native speaker.

[mastahcheese]

...And here I am being upset that Waffle King doesn't sell hot chocolate anymore.

* mastahcheese hugs all the people with actual sads ;_;