Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Tiruin]

My mom has been treating me like this my entire life. There is nothing new here.  It doesn't matter what I do, and it doesn't matter what I say.

Unless you really think that I should live in a bedroom on their property for the rest of my life as a live-in caregiver and never marry?  Because that's what she wants.

I feel like a horrible, horrible person saying this, but the more I remember your posts about all the pain your mother put you through and think about how you do not appear to have any sympathy for her anymore, the more I believe you should just put her in a nuthouse and move on with your life.

I am a very compassionate person, but even I have my limits. Especially when dealing with rape apologists.

I still don't think the bolded part is a good idea despite all she has done...
^{And by that I mean: LEAVE THEM FOR WHAT BAD THEY'VE DONE TO YOU being the general idea...
It's against all I've been taught about.}
Not the move on with your life part. That works. It's not good to dwell on 'but this is what [person] did to me before!'...unless there is no change(?)

[Vector]

Ask her to treat you differently, like saying what attitude you think she could change 'Could you please not be [attitude]?' and possibly, ask her what bad things she sees in you too?

Yes, I have done this. As far as asking her what bad things she sees in me, she has already more than amply done that of her own free will.

It's not good to dwell on 'but this is what [person] did to me before!'...unless there is no change(?)

There's no difference between this person and the person who dunked me as a three-year-old. She repeatedly tries to get me to do self-endangering things because I "lack guts."

[Mr. Strange]

I still don't think the bolded part is a good idea despite all she has done...
^{And by that I mean: LEAVE THEM FOR WHAT BAD THEY'VE DONE TO YOU being the general idea...
It's against all I've been taught about.}
Not the move on with your life part. That works. It's not good to dwell on 'but this is what [person] did to me before!'...unless there is no change(?)

The issue here seems to be Vectors mom not being good parent person, in any sense of the word, and never having been one, if what Vector says is true. In this situation I say fuck her feelings and get her children out of there while they are still mentally stable. Because living in those conditions isn't healthy, and if she's trying to prevent Vector from having life of his own then that's just sick.

[Knit tie]

With all due respect, Tiurin, getting the hell away seems like an optimal choice for Vector. She has tried talking before. It was absolutely fruitless. Keeping her mom around will only bring more pain and misery. It's like a radiation fallout, really, the only way to survive is to escape.

There's no difference between this person and the person who dunked me as a three-year-old. She repeatedly tries to get me to do self-endangering things because I "lack guts."

Now this is just ridiculous. How does your mom still have parental rights?

[Vector]

I'm tough and successful. I don't "look" like someone who was abused. I mean, I'm 24 and I speak five languages, have a degree in mathematics, published a book last year (to be cited in an upcoming textbook), and started a company this year. Would you expect that I was raped? Abused by two boyfriends? Had a mentally ill mother and a father who's completely given up on me?

In early elementary school I was walking 10-mile hikes, barefoot, over volcanic rock, without complaining (since the results of complaint were worse than just doing it). No point in causing trouble, right?

[Mr. Strange]

No point in causing trouble, right?

Cause trouble, just because.

[Tack]

I'm drawing a couple of parallels between your mother and my father- However my father wasn't mentally ill, he's just a harsh-but-fair farmer stereotype.
Irregardless, I sympathize.

[Vector]

Yeah, if this were a harsh-but-fair situation, I'd be all right with it. I'm assuming your dad doesn't whine at you for being "selfish" or crawl into bed, refuse to get out, and blame you for it, though.

(Don't mean to compete or something--just mean that she is actually mentally ill, which is not an accusation I'd make lightly)

[Knit tie]

I'm tough and successful. I don't "look" like someone who was abused. I mean, I'm 24 and I speak five languages, have a degree in mathematics, published a book last year (to be cited in an upcoming textbook), and started a company this year. Would you expect that I was raped? Abused by two boyfriends? Had a mentally ill mother and a father who's completely given up on me?

In early elementary school I was walking 10-mile hikes, barefoot, over volcanic rock, without complaining (since the results of complaint were worse than just doing it). No point in causing trouble, right?

Well, there goes the last bit of sympathy I've had for your mom.

And it looks like you don't really need her, so there's absolutely no reason for you to stay with her. So my first proposal stands, get the hell away from your mom and move on with your life. She is a parasite, who tortures you because she feeds on you, on all the errands you run and the outlet you provide for all her negative emotions, and she will never let you go because of that, until you go mad as well and share with her her twisted world. She always was a parasite, you say, and never chanted one iota no matter what you did? Then she doesn't deserve your compassion. No more than any tick or tapeworm or other blighted creature that feeds incessantly on the juices of others does. You shouldn't hate her, for she is mentally unsound and never really had a choice, but you should treat her for what she is, and cast off the chains of slavery with which she has been binding you so thoroughly, and move on, leaving her behind.

Screw your mother. You are stronger, and better, and infinitely more beautiful inside than living with her made you think. You deserve better.

And just out of interest, what's the name of the book and the company?

[Vector]

The company is Victory Garden Games, linked in my sig :]

The book is related to my real name, so unfortunately I can't say much other than that it's a volume of translated Russian poetry.

[Knit tie]

The company is Victory Garden Games, linked in my sig :]

The book is related to my real name, so unfortunately I can't say much other than that it's a volume of translated Russian poetry.

That's amazing! People here never cease to make me feel wonderfully dumb and underdeveloped. 

[TD1]

Did you say poetry?   

And just from what I read in your sig, which I can't believe I never clicked, that is, as knit tie put it, amazing!

[Tiruin]

It truly is amazing

Though on that matter...Vector's doing the best thing possible--and though I agree with Knit Tie, I'd deviate in that you shouldn't leave her--but leave what chains binds and inhibits you.

In early elementary school I was walking 10-mile hikes, barefoot, over volcanic rock, without complaining (since the results of complaint were worse than just doing it). No point in causing trouble, right?

O_O
*past trials high-five*
Walking! \o/
^{Though I disliked the smoke from the smokers I passed by... :/}

With all due respect, Tiurin, getting the hell away seems like an optimal choice for Vector. She has tried talking before. It was absolutely fruitless. Keeping her mom around will only bring more pain and misery. It's like a radiation fallout, really, the only way to survive is to escape.

There's no difference between this person and the person who dunked me as a three-year-old. She repeatedly tries to get me to do self-endangering things because I "lack guts."

Now this is just ridiculous. How does your mom still have parental rights?

No offense taken...at all.
But in that scenario?...Yeah..yeah, there should be distance at the moment.
*reads on*
Oh...I didn't know. Sorry Vector :S

[Tack]

I miss hiking.

[Knit tie]

I miss hiking.

So do I.

And sunflowers.