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[Yoink]

Damn, C, Talvieno. I'm sorry to hear about all that.
When I hear about you guys going through that sort of bullshit, I just wish I could bust in there and bail you out. I mightn't be the happiest person around, but at least I don't have to go through that sort of thing. I wish I could help you out.
If only it was possible. I'll have to settle for extending an internet fistbump of support.


My own (admittedly rather minor) sad: A while ago, a band I knew of started a Kickstarter to get their album made.
I wasn't really sure what to think about that- I mean, they're dedicated musicians and presumably going to get their music out there anyway, so asking for a few thousand dollars to do it just seemed a bit... strange, especially given this is a punk band we're talking about. Then again, they've released several albums previously, so I figured maybe they just wanted to make this one as good as it possibly could be.

Yesterday another band I like (one who are more local, this time) put up a kickstarter for their new album as well.
Now, these guys are awesome, awesome enough that I'll probably even give them some money, but still... not sure if I want to see this become a trend for music like it has for videogames. Could be the beginning of a slippery slope, and suddenly all my favourite bands are kickstarting all their records. >.> Eesh.

[Frumple]

Mm... you're definitely going to see it become a trend in music, yes, and the whole crowd-funding thing in general expand beyond video games. Look forward to it. Easy to pull off crowd-funding enabled by stuff like kickstarter is just taking off, really. It'll be awhile before it hits equilibrium in terms of usage, and it's definitely going to be at least tried in every market it can be.

[Knit tie]

-my IQ is merely 135-

-followed by a story of horrible abuse-

Holy. Shit.

Looks like your mom need to take a little bit of reality to her face. Have you ever thought of stealing some cash and running away? Hell, you could even probably call the cops and report domestic abuse.

[Vector]

Hell, you could even probably call the cops and report domestic abuse.

If there's any minors in the home, he can definitely call the cops and report child abuse, and should.

[My Name is Immaterial]

I recommend the cop option, but that's because I'm Lawful Good.[/unfunnyreferencesthataretotallyhorriblefortheseriousnessofthesituation]

[Knit tie]

If I were in your country, Talvieno, I would call cops for you. But I can't, so please do it yourself. Your mother does not deserve your pity.

[smirk]

Hell, you could even probably call the cops and report domestic abuse.

If there's any minors in the home, he can definitely call the cops and report child abuse, and should.

Seconded. My sympathies, Talvieno.

[Hanslanda]

>.>
I like this part:

When I was in grades k-3, I was quickly recognized as ahead of the rest of the class and given special classes (Apex, they called them) (this isn't particularly impressive for somebody playing dwarf fortress, I suppose, and I'm trying to use this to explain my story, so don't think I'm bragging (my IQ is merely 135, nothing incredible))

Because my IQ is only like 119, and I was never in Gifted classes (As we call them here. ). Plus the subsequent drug usage after the last IQ test, and then my renewed usage recently have probably affected my IQ negatively, not that it's a very good measure of intelligence anyways. I don't think intelligence is easily quantified, because I'm intelligent, but not very smart at all. I can remember things and learn things incredibly quickly, I'm just not good at utilizing all that information.

/randomtangent

[Talvieno]

eep. I think I totally screwed that up... I was just trying to help cmega feel better... I think I should've put it in PM. >.<

and, if I call the cops, my siblings and I will get split up, and they'll all get put into foster homes, so there's that to think about...

[Knit tie]

eep. I think I totally screwed that up... I was just trying to make cmega feel better... I think I should've put it in PM.

and, if I call the cops, my siblings and I will get split up, and they'll all get put into foster homes, so there's that to think about...

Do they love you? Do you love them? Do you think you could spend a couple years away from each other without it being detrimental to your relationship? Do they need your care that much?

And, most importantly, why? Why will you have to split up?

[Frumple]

Tal's of age, and almost certainly not able to support the younger ones independently given the stated history. Calling in social services of some stripe would, judging by the sound of things, end up with them in foster care and Tal... probably on the streets, from the look of it.

It... might still be something to consider if it would put the siblings in a better situation, but foster care is somewhat notoriously inconsistent in quality, and if the situation isn't too bad for them, as is, well...

[Hanslanda]

Heh, no, you're okay. I didn't take it offensively or let it make me feel bad, I was just musing. I can't really contribute on the poor environment growing up, because I actually have an amazing family (for the most part, barring a few that can be rather troublesome at times.) and while I was corporally punished as a child, I was never abused or beaten excessively. Just a few spanks on the bottom, which shouldn't be too dangerous to most kids. I wonder if I wouldn't have better motivation if I had grown up in a less supportive environment, because that's a serious issue I find myself facing.

And I agree with Knit tie. Even though it seems a scary option, that might not necessarily be the case, and it might be directly beneficial to you AND them. I'm not saying it definitely is, just that you need to weigh your options carefully. Which you probably already knew.

[Yoink]

Mm... you're definitely going to see it become a trend in music, yes, and the whole crowd-funding thing in general expand beyond video games. Look forward to it. Easy to pull off crowd-funding enabled by stuff like kickstarter is just taking off, really. It'll be awhile before it hits equilibrium in terms of usage, and it's definitely going to be at least tried in every market it can be.

Still, it would be a shame to see supporting bands by going to their shows and buying their merch replaced by simply throwing money at a kickstarter.
I doubt that'd really happen, though... in fact my previous post probably would have made more sense in the WTF thread.

[Helgoland]

Well, I was already horrified at the thought of cmega3 getting the belt, but... what. the. fuck.

Talvieno: If you already have no real perspective, what about your siblings? Or to phrase it more drastically: Is there any way in which calling the cops would negatively affect them? Like, at all? That sounds like the worst kind of environment to grow up in - and that includes sweatshops from musicals set in 19th century London.

So yeah, I'd say call the friggin' cops.

[Tawa]

Let me explain my sads yesterday...

In 2-4 days my mom will be shouting at me about how irresponsible I am, how unsociable the computer is making me and how I waste so much potential and she has sacrificed so much for me and how can ai be so ungrateful and there's people starving outside and I'm gonna ruin my life. I'll probably get belt
lashed or worse, and won't be able to talk to you guys for at least a month, probably two to four.

Add to this the fact that school has been as bad as ever, my classmates/friends are still being idiots, three teachers are angry at me, gaslighting is still going on (not as bad as some people have it, but it's still there) and I don't know what's right or wrong or what is going on.

I just... Can't. I can't anymore.

And I thought what I end up with on occasion is bad. I really get you on the bit with school, that makes my life heck. _{^{Stupid homework.}}

I'd say that you should try and get help, whether it be from a guidance counselor or the internet or what have you. This sounds seriously messed up, and the kind of assistance it sounds like you need is far beyond the scope of this mere forum.

Also, sorry if it sounds a bit impersonal, but... if you aren't going to be able to get on for a month at least, what would you rather have happen on the D&D thread? Again, I'm sorry if I sound cold or heartless or calculating, but if this is going to happen I need to plan ahead a bit.

EDIT: I shouldn't have typed that... sorry. I shouldn't say emotional any things late at night, I always regret it later...

Oh, and this guy's counter argument has some good stuff in it.

Let me explain my sads yesterday...

In 2-4 days my mom will be shouting at me about how irresponsible I am, how unsociable the computer is making me and how I waste so much potential and she has sacrificed so much for me and how can ai be so ungrateful and there's people starving outside and I'm gonna ruin my life. I'll probably get belt
lashed or worse, and won't be able to talk to you guys for at least a month, probably two to four.

Add to this the fact that school has been as bad as ever, my classmates/friends are still being idiots, three teachers are angry at me, gaslighting is still going on (not as bad as some people have it, but it's still there) and I don't know what's right or wrong or what is going on.

I just... Can't. I can't anymore.

how unsociable the computer is making me

how unsociable the computer is making me

Spoiler: Brace yourself as I tear Cmega's mom's arguments apart. (click to show/hide)

This is a stupid argument to make. This is 2014, practically every average teenager has a small computer in their pocket. That they use almost constantly. That they use almost constantly to stay in contact with people. Or to waste time on the internet. Or to play incredibly shallow games in order to kill time. They are willing to pay money every month for such a computer. And yet not every teenager is a basement dwelling friendless anti-social neckbeard.

If you were using a cell phone all the time they'd probably think you're normal and social, even if you were just using the phone to browse the internet/Bay12 like you would if you were on a desktop computer. Probably a laptop would prompt a similar idea of "nerdy not-socialness," despite the laptop being portable, but a cell phone is totally normal and social to use all the time because everyone does. It's a stupid outdated bias that excessive computer usage==unsocial when practically everyone uses a computer fairly regularly now for whatever.

Also it bugs me that your mom wants you to be more social and blames your computer usage for not being social. If you weren't using the computer you'd probably go be "social" if you wanted to or do some other thing instead if you didn't want to be social. Access to a computer doesn't determine whether you're "social" or not, it's primarily a person's personality. Some people like having tons of friends and making tons of new friends and constantly going out to do things with said friends, which is probably your mom's definition of social, and some people don't like having tons of friends and making tons of new friends and constantly going out to do stuff with friends.

Your mom needs to get off your back and let you do your own thing and stop worrying about something as petty as whether or not you're "social" enough. As long as you aren't torturing puppies or mentally deranged from loneliness or something you're probably getting enough social interaction, regardless of whether you meet your mom's "social standard".

I can't argue as well about anything else your mom said because I don't know you well enough, except that that "starving people" statement is terribly cliched and almost meaningless. Yes, there's starvation and disease everywhere. Making such a comment only guilt-trips people for being born into (or achieving) the privilege of not being poor and starving all the time. Guilt is not a good motivator.

Also given your past statements you sound like a relatively hard-working individual who takes their schoolwork and education seriously. I see no implications of "wasted potential" from what I know about you. Except maybe that you don't meet the overly high expectations of a certain parent.

I have no idea where the "ungrateful" idea comes from. There's probably miscommunication between you and your mom or something. Does she expect you to thank her constantly for caring for you and providing food and a place to live? That's sorta her responsibility to you as a parent, yeah it's not required, but I'd think there'd be mutual gratitude toward what I'd consider a mutual act of parental love and caring. Considering how she's bitching about you now for not meeting her standards of some kind of perfect offspring, the argument that you are ungrateful is rendered null. "Yes dear mother, I am most grateful for your smothering and beating and brainwashing, may I have another?"

tl;dr Sorry about your mom being a helicopter parent and having overly high expectations of you. You should probably talk to her about that. Unless she's a total bitch who won't listen to her child's own opinions. Then all I can suggest is "Move out once you can."

Hopefully I didn't offend you or anything C. I'm only a stranger over the internet, I only know so much about your situation. This was fun to tear apart though. I admit your mom being so uptight about you not being "social enough" pisses me off, that probably prompted me to write all this. It seems like an incredibly stupid trivial thing to ground and beat one's child over. Good luck with all that other stuff. Don't let it stress you out too much.

cmega, I seriously feel for you. I had/have a slightly different version of that, and I know it totally sucks. Don't give up hope, though. Stay strong.

edit:

Spoiler: Yeah, I know how it feels. (click to show/hide)

 First, I know about the belt whippings, I got them too, up until I was... I think the last one I got was when I was 14.

When I was in grades k-3, I was quickly recognized as ahead of the rest of the class and given special classes (Apex, they called them) (this isn't particularly impressive for somebody playing dwarf fortress, I suppose, and I'm trying to use this to explain my story, so don't think I'm bragging (my IQ is merely 135, nothing incredible)). After grade 3 my mom pulled me out of school to try to homeschool me herself, as she thought she would teach me "better" than the school was. She replaced the socialization I was getting at school with church - although with church, I was only getting three or four hours a week compared to the 30+ I'd been getting at school. Not only that, she proved to be a horrible teacher - from that point on, while I had the resources, I basically had to teach myself while she napped, watched TV, or did whatever. Everything I learned since I was eight, I've basically taught myself.

My family started breaking up (marital issues) around when I was 12. My mom and dad stopped going to church, I stopped seeing kids my age completely, and for a good deal of the time, was left at home alone with two younger brothers and two special-needs sisters we'd adopted from Bulgaria - and none of my siblings respected me or listened to a thing I said - but I got treated as if they did. I got in trouble for every mess they made (beaten a lot), and was totally stressed out for the next two years, without ever getting to talk to any friends outside the family. When my parents got divorced two years later, and my mom hated me from then on out: I look just like my dad, and for that  reason, I remind her of him. She absolutely loathes him, and so she treats me close to the same way. She hasn't said a single encouraging thing since then to me, being overly critical of everything I've done, telling me I'm irresponsible and wouldn't last a day in a real job, saying my career choices (programming, then writing, then modeling) are ridiculous and I won't be able to earn a living with them ("especially with your skills, that looks like a program  I would've seen in the 80's"), etc. You get the idea. My mom absolutely loves that I'm doing her job as the parent, though, and has done absolutely everything in her power to ensure I can't leave home, and has even said as much - "There's nothing wrong with going to college when you're 40."

So, I've been a "parent" to my siblings since I was 12, I haven't seen anyone my age in person since then, I've never even hugged a girl, and every relationship I've had has been purely online (which makes me losing my fiancée a few days ago look even more pathetic (she was going to visit me for the first time this summer, but now... yeah.)). I have no phone and I have a laptop with Internet capabilities only because I saved up for it myself from scrounging - and she wouldn't even let me out of the house buy it myself (I was 19). I can't get out of the house because the nearest town is 15 miles away, no money, no method of transportation (my mom won't let me learn to drive), no local friends, no formal education, and therefore no way to get a job and finally move out - and on top of all of it, my siblings need me to act as the parent. I'm 23, and I turn 24 on the 29th, and it's been at least half a year since I've been out of the house, 12 years since I saw anyone my age, and I've had to act as a parent and take the abuse of my mother for all that time.

So, yes. I get the abusive parent thing. It sucks. It seriously does, and all I can say is, stay strong and keep hoping. That's all you can really do. Believe in yourself. Not just anyone could make it as far as you have, and that means you're awesome. I know it may not sound like much now, but the important thing is that you don't give up. Don't let her win. Be strong, man. It sucks like hell, but you can get through this. Don't stop hoping.

Holy crap. If you didn't have those siblings to look after, I'd say that you should just walk to that town.