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[LeoLeonardoIII]

Cmega you should claim they were bullying. Teachers are all moist for that shit right now with all the news stories floating around, it will get you out of this jam lickety-split.

[scriver]

One person does not a dogpile make.

[miauw62]

and this is why I decided not to vent my current sads here

[kaijyuu]

Completely separating the topic of conversation from this, just how well do you think your attitude and tone will convince people who you feel need to change, MSH?

I'd rather say what needs to be said than pretend it doesn't, even if it means others will not listen.

How you say it makes all the difference though.

It is certainly within your power to say all you want without coming off as abrasive and condescending, assuming you have the self control. Maybe then they'll listen.



EDIT: As a side note, I fully respect speaking one's mind without concern to how one will look. If abrasive and condescending is just who you are, I think it's better that it shows through rather than being hidden. I hate wolves in sheep's clothing, and all that.

[Arx]

I am ducking out of this debate, as I don't think I can say anything more without offending someone, and  I think

He is in the wrong, he did fuck up, he will probably be punished, and he's remorseful about what happened, and came to us to vent.

This sums up everything that needs to be said.

Cmega, I'm seriously sorry about the whole debate thing. Pretty sure everyone here genuinely has what they believe to be your best interests at heart.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Completely separating the topic of conversation from this, just how well do you think your attitude and tone will convince people who you feel need to change, MSH?

I'd rather say what needs to be said than pretend it doesn't, even if it means others will not listen.

How you say it makes all the difference though.

It is certainly within your power to say all you want without coming off as abrasive and condescending, assuming you have the self control. Maybe then they'll listen.



EDIT: As a side note, I fully respect speaking one's mind without concern to how one will look. If abrasive and condescending is just who you are, I think it's better that it shows through rather than being hidden. I hate wolves in sheep's clothing, and all that.

I'll give you abrasive, but I don't see anything I've said as condescending. I make an effort to communicate as in as real a fashion is possible. There's not much I dislike more than fluffy lies.

[kaijyuu]

Well not much else to say, other than just remember that people don't always infer things the way you intend to imply them. I detected some condescension (mainly in the "life's not fair" stuff) whether you intended it or not.

[Eric Blank]

This morning I slipped off the road and got stuck in a ditch. Didn't even make it down the damn driveway before the wind and snow decided I needed to have FUN. Car's still there on the side of the driveway, on a silly ~45 degree slope. I had to come to town with my family this morning to shower and use the computer lab, and missed my class.

[scrdest]

Cmega you should claim they were bullying. Teachers are all moist for that shit right now with all the news stories floating around, it will get you out of this jam lickety-split.

Oooooor they might be arseholes and side with him anyhow. Or acknowledge that and proceed to do nothing at fucking all about it, because they can't or they won't.

It's a bit of a berserk button to me, seeing people get off with stuff because they are popular.

[ChairmanPoo]

This wasn't about bullying as much as it was about having a breakdown. What he did was not justified, but I'm wholly convinced that pretty much everyone is at best three steps away from being an angry monkey, given the right stimulus. So, yeah, cut him some slack. In some people it's easier, and in some it's harder, but in the right circumstances of stress and pressure, anyone can break down.

[Mr. Strange]

This wasn't about bullying as much as it was about having a breakdown.

This right here.

Cmega, you really should take some time to unwind and get some of that steam out of your system. If you keep pushing it while constantly stressed it will be bad for you, not only will you get sick easily due stress and have to take days off like you did there (and that causes more stress), but your body won't recover as easily from it. And that's gonna cause even more stress for you. It's a slippery slope for quick burnout, and that's not fun to have.

[Pnx]

Ok wow, my day was pretty damn shitty.

First I got back the test I did last week, it was a 66/100... Which is horrific, the good news is that 66% is apparently one of the best test scores in the class, and the teacher is giving us all an opportunity to make some of it up, we just have to figure out what all the right answers are, which is not so bad except that I'm really not sure how to solve some of these questions, and there is nobody IRL that can actually help me with this stuff, I spent four hours after class helping fellow students answer some of the questions, but was unable to really answer any of my own. Which was pretty frustrating, there's really nobody offline I can ask about this stuff apart from the teacher, and he's strictly only going to be available for a fairly short window on monday, which is the day before this stuff is due.

Then I went home, before I did I stopped by to have a chat with my artsy friends, I got invited to a party tomorrow, which I sort of want to go to except that it's really late at night and I've taken to going to bed fairly early, so I'm not sure if I can really do it, plus parties are generally not my thing.

Cue goodbye hug, then going home, half an hour later, I'm home, and I realise that when I did the goodbye hug, I put some of my school stuff down, and didn't pick it up again. Cue frantic half-hour drive back to school where I panic about having potentially lost my stuff and not being able to get it back again, which might royally screw me over, it turns out alright though because it was there and I have a tearful reunion with my binders that may or may not have included me holding them tightly to my chest whispering words like, "Never leave me again." This was followed by miserable half hour drive back home again.

Now I have to write a response on the discussion board, which might be difficult because most of what the people there wrote appears to be carbon copies of the stuff I wrote... and it's a little difficult/awkward to argue against something you just argued for. I'm still by far a novice at the flip-flop it seems.

I feel like crying a lot and possibly vomiting right now.

[Bauglir]

If you can do the first thing, by all means. The second one might not help as much, but I think we've established before that it's basically the same thing so maybe.

[Vector]

This wasn't about bullying as much as it was about having a breakdown. What he did was not justified, but I'm wholly convinced that pretty much everyone is at best three steps away from being an angry monkey, given the right stimulus. So, yeah, cut him some slack. In some people it's easier, and in some it's harder, but in the right circumstances of stress and pressure, anyone can break down.

I think I agree with this.  I'm pretty sure I've said different things previously, but I hadn't taken into account that my breakdowns usually end up violently attacking myself rather than other people.  Also, the Battered Woman Defense is totally a thing, so if I agree with that I should agree with this.


That said, the important thing we can do as human beings is, as MZ said, learn to diffuse/walk away from situations that aggravate us--of course, it can be hard to tell when those times are coming, and that's probably why you might want to talk to someone.

Cmega, you did do the wrong thing, but we love you anyway.  Please use this event to try to make better things happen in your life--like if you could start regularly seeing a counselor to help you manage stress and your abusive environment, then that might be helpful for you.  I've found that just having someone to talk to in a nonjudgmental way, even if we weren't Actively Making Progress on what I saw as problems, really, really helped.  So, please see about that, and don't take being suspended too harshly.  It would probably be good to just have some time to clear the air and relax--don't let it embitter you or feel like it's a punishment so "you've got time to think about what you did" or whatever.  I've had problems with stuff like that too... I bet it was really scary.

[hug]

I hope everything turns out okay and you're able to get along with your classmates in the future.

[Sirus]

Well, just came back from the doctor's after my illness last night.

Diagnosis: a bad case of tonsilitis. Got a ten day regimen of antibiotics, steroids to reduce the swelling which makes it impossible to swallow anything pain-free, and I am forbidden from eating anything hot for a couple of days.

At least there's no surgery planned yet.