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[Descan]

I was suspended so many god-damn times in High-School. I wouldn't worry about it. Take the day to de-stress, catch up on some work, and use it for what it's given: Time-off to cool down.


MSH: I wouldn't say "It doesn't matter." It does matter, in a sense. It's understandable to crack under stress. But you're right in the sense that just because you are stressed, doesn't mean you can throttle someone without repercussions. You might get some leniency because of the circumstances, but you shouldn't go "Oh, you were stressed? Well, no harm no foul."

[Mictlantecuhtli]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I've spit right in someones mouth right as they were harassing me one time. School was fun. Bullies are a pain and stress sucks, it happens.





_{Better than flipping someone's desk.}

[Arx]

Cmega, I've been there. My school at the time, of course, felt no need to do anything about it.

Good luck. If you do get suspended, don't beat yourself up about it. Seriously. You can get that for free from other people; use the time productively instead.

Metaphorical hug because I'm not a hugging person!

[MetalSlimeHunt]

MSH: I wouldn't say "It doesn't matter." It does matter, in a sense. It's understandable to crack under stress. But you're right in the sense that just because you are stressed, doesn't mean you can throttle someone without repercussions. You might get some leniency because of the circumstances, but you shouldn't go "Oh, you were stressed? Well, no harm no foul."

No dude, it doesn't matter. There are standards you have to reach to be a functional member of society. No matter how stressed a person is, they still have the ability to chose right or wrong. This whole idea that you can "snap" and probably should under severe stress is a bunch of media-fueled bullshit that has infected our collective cultures. Part of growing up is learning to take full responsibility for your thoughts and actions. There are no mitigating factors or excuses.

[Descan]

Re-read what I said.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I read it correctly the first time, but I disagree. It's not a factor of leniency or sympathy.

[MaximumZero]

People have their limits. The lesson is to avoid being pushed past that limit by diffusing the situation. (Yeah, I know how hypocritical that is, coming from me.) The only time I got suspended from high school was for pretty much the exact same thing, even though my high school was a really rough place.

Cmega, talk to the counselor some more, possibly about diffusing stress and stressful situations. The more you can let stress roll off you, the better off you'll be in most situations, especially as you get older.

[kaijyuu]

The concept of "crimes of passion" exist for a reason. Remember that the only valid reason for punishment is deterrent (I don't think I need to explain why vengeance is bad, and I wouldn't file separating violent people from others under punishment). Deterrents don't work for people who aren't in their right mind; they're not acting logically, and no matter what you threaten them with, it won't change what they'll do.

There might still be reason to punish someone acting illogically due to circumstance, but only to deter other people from thinking they can get away with it.


Let's avoid "you fucked up and need to face the Just Consequence" bullshit. Maybe suspension is the right thing to have happen (I disagree, but for the sake of argument), and in that case it's a sad situation that deserves pity and remorse.

[Arx]

I read it correctly the first time, but I disagree. It's not a factor of leniency or sympathy.

Have you ever been in that situation? I'm extremely self controlled. I show little enough emotion that I've been called a sociopath. But, after being physically bullied every day, held to unreasonably high expectations every day, verbally bullied near-constantly, at a school where the teachers didn't care, I got to a point where I lashed out at the people hitting me. The only reason I'm okay with the fact that I was unpunished then is that the bullies were far, far worse. I don't think it's unacceptable that I lashed out. I don't think it's unacceptable that Cmega lashed out; I don't think it's unacceptable if Cmega is suspended. As Naxza says, Cmega is remorseful; it's a learning experience, albeit one that I seriously wish no-one had to go through.

Cmega, sorry for talking about you like a case study.

[Mictlantecuhtli]

Yeah, the whole talking about people's dealings as a topic thing should be avoided.

[SalmonGod]

As someone who dealt with a lot of bullying (violent at times), I'm fine with retaliation against bullying being punished to some extent... so long as the provocation is recognized and also punished, preferably harsher if the provocations were extreme or a long-running problem.  Retaliation is not an acceptable way to solve problems, but it's a situation that one person created and another reacted to.  The former should be held more responsible.

But I also went to a school where there were teachers who would watch an unpopular student be assaulted right in front of them and not even say anything.  I understand that resentment is a factor in thoughts on the subject.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I read it correctly the first time, but I disagree. It's not a factor of leniency or sympathy.

Have you ever been in that situation? I'm extremely self controlled. I show little enough emotion that I've been called a sociopath. But, after being physically bullied every day, held to unreasonably high expectations every day, verbally bullied near-constantly, at a school where the teachers didn't care, I got to a point where I lashed out at the people hitting me. The only reason I'm okay with the fact that I was unpunished then is that the bullies were far, far worse. I don't think it's unacceptable that I lashed out. I don't think it's unacceptable that Cmega lashed out; I don't think it's unacceptable if Cmega is suspended. As Naxza says, Cmega is remorseful; it's a learning experience, albeit one that I seriously wish no-one had to go through.

Cmega, sorry for talking about you like a case study.

Yeah, I have. I spent years in situations like that. I was always the Strange Kid and that made me a target. I've been harassed and ostracized since I was a little kid. I have had teachers that hated me for petty reasons and sided with my bullies. I was targeted on the basis of my race in a couple of my high school classes. I even lived with an obnoxious and belligerent DudeBro for the better part of a year.

In all of that time though, I remembered that my emotional state does not control my actions. A person has the right to defend themselves, but they definitely don't have the right to whine and hurt other people who haven't crossed that line. I cannot abide coddling and "well he probably deserved it" in the face of a situation like this. People have responsibilities to adhere to. You don't like it? You think it's unfair? Fucking tough. The world isn't fair. You have an obligation to conduct yourself like a reasonable person even if others do not.

Let's avoid "you fucked up and need to face the Just Consequence" bullshit.

The only bullshit I see is pretending like Cmega isn't in the wrong here, or is somehow justified even if he is. He did fuck up.

[MaximumZero]

He is in the wrong, he did fuck up, he will probably be punished, and he's remorseful about what happened, and came to us to vent. We don't need to dogpile on, man.

[kaijyuu]

Completely separating the topic of conversation from this, just how well do you think your attitude and tone will convince people who you feel need to change, MSH?

[MetalSlimeHunt]

He is in the wrong, he did fuck up, he will probably be punished, and he's remorseful about what happened, and came to us to vent. We don't need to dogpile on, man.

I'm not trying to dogpile. I just want it to be clear that you can't justify doing something like that, because it's a common narrative of "I'm so oppressed" on a lot of online communities. All the posts between his and mine were doing that.

Completely separating the topic of conversation from this, just how well do you think your attitude and tone will convince people who you feel need to change, MSH?

I'd rather say what needs to be said than pretend it doesn't, even if it means others will not listen.