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[Elephant Parade]

Know what's the worst part of having a stepdad say to you for years on end that you're a failure, a worthless bitch, when you get into the 'real world' you're gonna die/end up living on a street corner, you suck, fuck you for [insert 'forgetting to do random menial task ie dishes, garbage' or 'lost a spoon' or some other bullshit]?

Going and proving him right.
^{Of course my situation isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be, I'm just likely to fail high school at this rate and I can't force myself to do any schoolwork at all and have terrible sleep habits and emotional backlash from repressing hurt for several years but still}

I recommend fixing your sleep habits over the break. That's what I'm going to do, anyway. As for homework, I know how you feel, and I suspect fixing your sleep habits might help significantly.

[Xantalos]

Yeah it did for a while but then it kinda slipped back into terribility after a while. Mostly thanks to my laziness.
Buh. I can't really make myself give a shit about anything, which would be kinda terrifying in retrospect.

[misko27]

Know what's the worst part of having a stepdad say to you for years on end that you're a failure, a worthless bitch, when you get into the 'real world' you're gonna die/end up living on a street corner, you suck, fuck you for [insert 'forgetting to do random menial task ie dishes, garbage' or 'lost a spoon' or some other bullshit]?

Going and proving him right.
^{Of course my situation isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be, I'm just likely to fail high school at this rate and I can't force myself to do any schoolwork at all and have terrible sleep habits and emotional backlash from repressing hurt for several years but still}

God damn it all. I had a whole long reply going and then "Poof". This needs to go in Rage.

Ok, I've been here, so two things. 1) Forget about all the "doing it right" you may have in your head about passing. Find out the exact criteria you need to pass high school, and work on that specifically. Credits, whatever. Hell I've been through only 2 years of high school and I could graduate right now because of my state's system. 2) This part is far more important then passing high school, because it effects how happy you are all the fucking time: Beating yourself up, or letting someone else do it, is so incredibly bad that I struggle to put words to my horror. Guess what? It doesn't help. You aren't smarter, faster, stronger, better.You are the same flawed guy as before, but now you are less happy and wasted time. Self-criticism is only useful in that it motivates us to change: When it isn't doing that, don't do it. Being happy is just a generally better state of affairs, and while I have serious doubts about whether you will believe this, you can simply choose it over being miserable about your situation. I got a much lower test grade then I needed yesterday, but you know what: I can't do anything about it now, why bother worrying about that test grade? It doesn't change anything. If I was on Death Row, I'd get over it, because being upset about it just makes me more miserable while I'm stuck in there. I mean sure, I have every reason to flip out, but, why? It's meta, but it's important to being happy in the face of adversity.

Your external demons can only influence your internal ones, and those internal critics can only be allowed to run rampant if you let them. This is one of those stupid cliche-sounding things that is much deeper then at first blush, but no one can make you feel inferior without you letting them. And letting them, again, just doesn't help things.


Anyway, why does every thread have bouts where they end up as the SCOTTISH FREEDOM thread? I mean really, just make a thread and be done with it. It's not obligated to be constantly updated or something; the general bay12 "Possible impending disaster" thread is a good example: if a disaster is about to happen, LW can dig that out and put "INVASION OF EARTH BY KITTENS THE SIZE OF VANS IMPENDING" or something.

[Xantalos]

All true there, misko. It was mostly venting anyway since I grew up with said stepdad actively encouraging me to hate myself for no real reason and sometimes it breaks through still.
Should probably get a person I can actually talk to and stuff.

[Gentlefish]

All true there, misko. It was mostly venting anyway since I grew up with said stepdad actively encouraging me to hate myself for no real reason and sometimes it breaks through still.
Should probably get a person I can actually talk to and stuff.

Someone telling you you're a piece of shit actually stick with you, even if you try not to let it. I hope you've made it away from him and can start healing.

[Xantalos]

In a few weeks/a month or so yeah.

[misko27]

Good for you. The vagaries of fate have blessed me with a psychiatrist, but they aren't the most useful to me.

[kaenneth]

Know what's the worst part of having a stepdad say to you for years on end that you're a failure, a worthless bitch, when you get into the 'real world' you're gonna die/end up living on a street corner, you suck, fuck you for [insert 'forgetting to do random menial task ie dishes, garbage' or 'lost a spoon' or some other bullshit]?

Going and proving him right.
^{Of course my situation isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be, I'm just likely to fail high school at this rate and I can't force myself to do any schoolwork at all and have terrible sleep habits and emotional backlash from repressing hurt for several years but still}

Also fun when it's your real dad, no 'step' excuse.

[Skyrunner]

I'm at school. Soooooo borreeed DX
After finals there is nothing to do all day from 7 to 4.

[misko27]

Know what's the worst part of having a stepdad say to you for years on end that you're a failure, a worthless bitch, when you get into the 'real world' you're gonna die/end up living on a street corner, you suck, fuck you for [insert 'forgetting to do random menial task ie dishes, garbage' or 'lost a spoon' or some other bullshit]?

Going and proving him right.
^{Of course my situation isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be, I'm just likely to fail high school at this rate and I can't force myself to do any schoolwork at all and have terrible sleep habits and emotional backlash from repressing hurt for several years but still}

Also fun when it's your real dad, no 'step' excuse.

It's better when it's both of your parents, no place to turn to. Especially if they're abusive in their own individual way, so you can pick your poison.

[Greiger]

The christmas season again.  I love and hate this time of year.  The big increase in charitable giving is great and wonderful and in the holiday spirit.

But then there's the social aspect among family and friends.  You are expected to give something to everyone close to you.  Except instead of it being something kind and just because in the spirit of the holiday, it is expected for you to give something back too, of similar value, regardless of any financial situation.

I can't afford that.  People tell me that you get stuff back so it works out to a net even.  Except you most often get stuff you don't need (yes you can use it, but it's not something it would be sane to have dropped the money on yet), or worse case something you don't want. (Like how 3 of my gifts last year were USB keys when I already had 5 of them)  And even when yer giving something, you are not the person yer giving stuff too, so you can't be sure if they actually need what yer giving them.

I dropped hints that I don't have much money this year.  I have $20 to try to spread among 5 people.  But people always say they don't have money, then drop some $30 gift on your doorstep, and I am pretty certain at least one of those people spent more than $20 on me for one gift.

Just more first world problems I guess.  Wish this holiday was less about giving stuff and more about giving to those who need stuff to survive.

[kaijyuu]

Give what you can afford and if people complain, explain. If they don't like that, fuck 'em (not literally).

Works for me.

[Mephansteras]

The christmas season again.  I love and hate this time of year.  The big increase in charitable giving is great and wonderful and in the holiday spirit.

But then there's the social aspect among family and friends.  You are expected to give something to everyone close to you.  Except instead of it being something kind and just because in the spirit of the holiday, it is expected for you to give something back too, of similar value, regardless of any financial situation.

I can't afford that.  People tell me that you get stuff back so it works out to a net even.  Except you most often get stuff you don't need (yes you can use it, but it's not something it would be sane to have dropped the money on yet), or worse case something you don't want. (Like how 3 of my gifts last year were USB keys when I already had 5 of them)  And even when yer giving something, you are not the person yer giving stuff too, so you can't be sure if they actually need what yer giving them.

I dropped hints that I don't have much money this year.  I have $20 to try to spread among 5 people.  But people always say they don't have money, then drop some $30 gift on your doorstep, and I am pretty certain at least one of those people spent more than $20 on me for one gift.

Just more first world problems I guess.  Wish this holiday was less about giving stuff and more about giving to those who need stuff to survive.

Baked goods are a good solution to this. Especially fudge. Home made fudge is delicious, easy to make, and you don't have to give all that much to someone for it to be appreciated. A single batch can be 6 presents worth (about 1/2 pound of fudge per person). Keeps a long time in a one of those resealable containers or a ziplock bag, too.

Cookies work too. As does butter toffee, which is also simple and cheap to make although you don't get as much to give away per batch. Good bit cheaper than fudge, though, so I think that evens out. Also, baked goodies don't clutter the house and you don't generally have to worry about whether they have it already or not.

[Owlbread]

You could make tablet as an unusual alternative to fudge. Here is a recipe that may be good.

[Mephansteras]

You could make tablet as an unusual alternative to fudge. Here is a recipe that may be good.

Oooh, nifty. I'll have to try that out.