-snip-
-snop-
Hey guys, lets not play the "blame the victim" game, okay? Because that's a horrible thing to do.
Sappho, I'm really sorry. I've been on the receiving end of unwanted advances a number of times, and I know how gross and messed up it can feel when people seem to view you as a goal or object. I've been hit on by girlfriends of my friends behind their backs. I've been the target of very persistent advances made by male and female coworkers I have to see every day. I've had a friend buy me drinks and take advantage of me when I was depressed. I've been approached and hounded by several guys who won't respect my personal space, and don't listen when I tell them frankly that I'm not interested. I've had a gang of ladies twice my age regularly come into the restaurant I was working at, get completely shitfaced, and start calling for me across the room, caressing the seat next to them, and telling them what a great time I could be having. I hate dealing with it, and it makes me feel gross.
You shouldn't have to deal with this. I don't know how best to suggest to deal with it in life in general, but at least in the situation with the father of the kid you're working with, I'd agree with Darkmere. Once you've got some time to calm down, and some emotional distance established, let him know what happened. Tell him that you have sympathy for what he's going through, but that the situation he put you in made you very uncomfortable. If he is unhappy where he is in life, he needs to work on that, and not look to romancing you to fix it. Try to explain why the kid is doing what he's doing like you described for us. If he gets pushy and authoritative about it like you describe, just interrupt him and, gently at first, tell him that you need him to listen to you. I hope you can keep working with the kid... it sounds like a positive influence on both of your lives.
As for guys you run into... a lot of guys are taught by culture (and the shitty romantic plots in most big movies), that they should be persistent, and keep on chasing after a girl they're interested in, doing anything necessary to win her over. Even when she clearly and consistently rejects their advances. I think letting your friends know, and encouraging them to have your back when necessary, might help. I've helped a few friends deal with unwanted advances before, in a variety of situations, and been helped by my friends in return.
When you're on your own, it can be harder. Sometimes it only needs a firm "No", and someone will get the picture. Sometimes it requires telling the person you're in a relationship already, or lying about your orientation; I have learned not to generally tell people I'm open to dating guys, for instance, since it saves me a lot of unwanted advances from guys I'm not interested in. Sometimes, it requires removing yourself from the situation, and leaving the person making the advances no way to contact or follow you; at the restaurant where I had to dodge
cougars and such, I'd hide in the kitchen and switch to doing food preparation and plating for a bit, while my coworkers took over on the floor for me.
Anyway, I hope this helps. And I hope you can find ways to keep it from happening that don't require you to compromise what you'd like to wear and do and be in life. Good luck.