Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Hanslanda]

Well, I am talking to an attractive young woman I know, and I should probably flirt with her, but I just... Why?

Because attractive young woman?
Of course though, you're not obligated to flirt. There's no point if you're not going to enjoy it.

I think. Honestly, I'm still fuzzy on the concept of flirting.

I want to flirt, but at this point, I feel like there's basically zero chance I could muster the enthusiasm to try to get into a relationship/sleep with them/whatever would be the desired result there.

[Max White]

You could always skip the casual flirting and skip straight to asking her for what you want. Sex, a relationship, just to spend more time getting to know each other. All these things are pretty normal and expected for a human to want, so it is possible that she is looking for the same thing as you.

I never actually believed just how far you can go on brutal, unprotected honesty, but it works.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I have not seen anyone going guising in about 10-11 years. A child who wanted to guise my house would have to walk half a mile across a dirt track in the cold and damp. If they got to the house, all I'd be able to give them are some dried pumpkin seeds and salt.

Only to be shot by your great-great-great grandfather's crossbow at the end of it all, too.

I wish I had his crossbow, I really do. Unfortunately I just have his clock. He actually made it himself which is nice but still, I can't kill any English people with it. What use is that?

To make matters worse, he was English himself. Though I keep that under wraps.

I'd like to say I'm surprised that you know he actually had a crossbow and can trace the ethnic status of your genealogy that far back, but I'm not.

[Owlbread]

I can go back a bit further, I believe he was from Bedfordshire and some of his relatives died in poverty or something. On the other sides I have a Northern Irishman with very big hands and a beard, a Scotsman who died in WW1, at least one Welshman and perhaps another Welshman. That's roughly the set of great great great grandpas I know. There are two or three missing that are unknown to me, one of them may be a gypsy of some sort.

He would be my paternal ancestor, so he's probably the most important. Unfortunately I have no idea who he was because his son sired my great grandfather as a bastard then disappeared. A carter who worked on fairgrounds.

[Iceblaster]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I came here because I'm feeling hurt, not because I'm lacking in critical thinking skills =/  If I come out, it will be on my terms.

She's never going to understand it, though, so there's kind of no point in doing so.  I don't say that flippantly.  I really think there's pretty much a 0% likelihood that she'll be in the least receptive.

I've seen how you react to bigoted people on here. Why does your mother get such a free pass?

I also usually don't tell the bigoted people what my particular gender and sexual identity are.  Mom gets argued with vehemently, but I'm not about to let her think that I only care because I'm one of THEM.  I don't want her to try to argue me out of it because she sees me as making a BAD CHOICE SHE'S GOT TO SAVE ME FROM, and I don't want her to talk behind my back to the other relatives about how ASHAMED she is.  I'd like, frankly, to just go about my business, which is what I've been doing.

Good luck Vector. Hope your mom turns out to be cooler with it than you describe :/

I hope for the best as well, and regardless of what happens, at least you know that there are always people who will love and care for you.

[RedKing]

I can go back a bit further, I believe he was from Bedfordshire and some of his relatives died in poverty or something. On the other sides I have a Northern Irishman with very big hands and a beard, a Scotsman who died in WW1, at least one Welshman and perhaps another Welshman. That's roughly the set of great great great grandpas I know. There are two or three missing that are unknown to me, one of them may be a gypsy of some sort.

He would be my paternal ancestor, so he's probably the most important. Unfortunately I have no idea who he was because his son sired my great grandfather as a bastard then disappeared. A carter who worked on fairgrounds.

Aren't family histories awesome? My great-great-grandfather was a farm boy from rural NC who somehow ended up becoming a silver amalgamator (or azaguero, in Spanish) and working at Mexican silver mines and making a fortune. Enough to send his two kids to college for a couple of years (mind you, this is in the late 1800's). And then his college-educated daughter fell for a shiftless alcoholic who gave her 12 kids and then left the family to shack up with another woman.

That would be my great-grandparents >_<.


@Vector: E-hugs, chica. Wish I could offer advice. Moral arguments with parental units is one of the toughest things in the world. Because it's inherently a rejection of what they've tried to instill in you, for better or worse. So there's a lot of guilty subtext on both sides, which leads to people being more defensive than they might otherwise be. All I can say is stick to who you are. You may never "win" that argument, but you don't have to lose it either.

[Owlbread]

Aren't family histories awesome? My great-great-grandfather was a farm boy from rural NC who somehow ended up becoming a silver amalgamator (or azaguero, in Spanish) and working at Mexican silver mines and making a fortune. Enough to send his two kids to college for a couple of years (mind you, this is in the late 1800's). And then his college-educated daughter fell for a shiftless alcoholic who gave her 12 kids and then left the family to shack up with another woman.

That would be my great-grandparents >_<.

Some things never change.

[RedKing]

Aren't family histories awesome? My great-great-grandfather was a farm boy from rural NC who somehow ended up becoming a silver amalgamator (or azaguero, in Spanish) and working at Mexican silver mines and making a fortune. Enough to send his two kids to college for a couple of years (mind you, this is in the late 1800's). And then his college-educated daughter fell for a shiftless alcoholic who gave her 12 kids and then left the family to shack up with another woman.

That would be my great-grandparents >_<.

Some things never change.

Hey, I only gave my ex-wife 2 kids. 

[Owlbread]

Hey, I only gave my ex-wife 2 kids. 

Oh wait, I apologise, I did not mean it in that way. I was just making a comment on society in general with people throwing away their futures that have been laid out for them, even along lines that may be familiar to us e.g. with respect to college education. People are their own masters of course. To paraphrase R. Lee Ermey they are the assholes in charge of their own destiny.

[RedKing]

Oh wait, I apologise, I did not mean it in that way. I was just making a comment on society in general with people throwing away their futures that have been laid out for them.

No, it's all good. Just couldn't help but find it ironic that I can now identify a bit more with my great-grandfather. Although he was apparently a belligerent, abusive drunk and abandoned the family. I'm a contemplative reformed alcoholic who is making good on my obligations to my kids.

[Darvi]

To make matters worse, he was English himself. Though I keep that under wraps.

Me grandad was Scottish. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

[Owlbread]

I've often seen myself as ethnically British because my ancestors come from all over the UK, I do heft to the land of my birth however.

[RedKing]

I've often seen myself as ethnically British because my ancestors come from all over the UK, I do heft to the land of my birth however.

Which just underscores how fucking arbitrary national/regional identities are in this day and age. I was born in Iowa, to parents born in Colorado and Montana, and yet I identify very strongly as a North Carolinian and Southerner.

[gman8181]

Well, I am talking to an attractive young woman I know, and I should probably flirt with her, but I just... Why?

Because attractive young woman?
Of course though, you're not obligated to flirt. There's no point if you're not going to enjoy it.

I think. Honestly, I'm still fuzzy on the concept of flirting.

I want to flirt, but at this point, I feel like there's basically zero chance I could muster the enthusiasm to try to get into a relationship/sleep with them/whatever would be the desired result there.

I get that sometimes. There's been plenty of girls I think are cute and I know some of them find me attractive too. I'm not particularly scared of asking them out or even the potential of being rejected... it's just that... I know deep down that I barely have the energy to keep myself going day to day forget getting involved in a relationship.

[Owlbread]

Which just underscores how fucking arbitrary national/regional identities are in this day and age. I was born in Iowa, to parents born in Colorado and Montana, and yet I identify very strongly as a North Carolinian and Southerner.

Not quite. Over here national/regional identities remain very important in the modern age to the point that you still can't escape it, what is completely arbitrary however is "ethnic" identity. My culture is also separate from my genetics, and as a result I do feel separate from other people in different parts of the UK who have similar ethnicities.

Then again this is different because in the USA ethnic identity has seemingly supplanted national identity as a force of political change, with regional identities remaining strong in a fairly mundane way. In the bid to escape the old world problems of national borders and language and nations, all that's left in the USA is the colour of one's skin or the dominant ethnicity of the people you hang around with most. I wonder if that's what would happen all over the world if the world went the same way as the USA.

If you don't mind me saying I think if we were talking about a European country, the way you identify as a Southerner and North Carolinian in spite of your heritage would be quite similar to the whole "civic nationalist" idea. It's a clumsy way of putting it but surely you'll see what I mean.