There's a big difference between social and personal truth. I don't ask that society act on my beliefs, I just observe that they
verifiably make me a better person and seem to do no harm.
Also, I don't have to be in a relationship with someone to love them. That's the point. It's
not a relationship. It's just love. That's why it doesn't have to be reciprocated. Loving someone doesn't mean I won't chastise them, be angry with them, or even, inadvertently, do them wrong. What it means, at its fundament, is that I will not pretend their suffering is not suffering, as we so often do.
I don't care if you think I'm naive, honestly. I've been around the block a few times.
If it is, why just trust instead of just verify? The latter is more reliable when it comes to conclusions corresponding to reality. When it comes to deities, we've been trusting what allegedly was their words, and we've got to such marvelous conclusions as the universe being made out of a deity's corpse, Earth laying on the back of a turtle which may or may not be laying on a stack of other turtles, Sun revolving around Earth...
Because you ask divinity about divinity and materiality about materiality. You've gone pretty far down the barrel when you're asking dirt who god is.
What I'm trying to say is--trust, in and of itself, has a goodness to it. The experience of trust is good. The question is--when? To what degree? On the individual level, even though indeed we have quality checkers and things like that--the experience of a human being in community involves a huge amount of trust in the system, in other people, and so on. You don't follow your lover with a camera everywhere to verify that they aren't cheating on you.
Why just trust? Because there are events and relationships that
cannot both be observed and preserved, and in which the cost of observation is just too high. Experiences where it is better to, perhaps, be wrong. Experiences where part of what makes the experience itself is not knowing, and one can decide that the experience is better than the knowledge.
Knowing is not
always better than not-knowing. You have to be discerning in these moments, as well.
On the other hand, if you use more abstract concepts, like emotional contact, comfort, all the qualities the person you love might have - then you still love them for very specific something, and wouldn't if this certain something was not present.
Okay. I love things and people for existing.
Somewhat reminded of my psychology teacher "proving" that altruism doesn't exist. After all, if you do a good deed and accept nothing in return, you will still feel good about yourself, which is technically a reward. Alternatively, you do a deed because you feel obligated to do so, in order to avoid feeling guilt. Negative reinforcement, if you will.
So technically, since no matter what you are rewarded in a form, you did not do the deed for nothing, which altruism requires. She was a cynical person.
I do not wish the man who abused me ill. I get angry sometimes--so angry. I feel like I hate him with every particle of my body.
But if you asked me: "really?"
Well, no, the answer is no. I wish him well and I hope he humbles himself someday. Not necessarily that he be happy, because I'm not sure that would be good for the people around him--but that he be well, and contented. The anger comes from feeling that I must wish joy upon him in order to be moral, and that to love him I must be supportive when he gets what
he wants. But that's not love, that's subordination and petty, unthinking agreement.
Now--do I feel self-righteous about this fact? Not especially. I'm only writing out what
is, not some sort of action I've strategized. I wonder if it's wrong of me, pretty much constantly. I wonder if it makes me party to my own abuse, if it's fruitless, if it's naive. I've been berated and scolded. It would be a lot more comfortable to just not love. I could come in here and say: "I don't love my abuser," and no one would care. They'd pat me on the back. . . they'd try to make me feel good.
Your teacher's argument requires that the altruist feel some sort of self-righteousness and not be attacked by other people for their naivete.