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[FearfulJesuit]

I was slightly saddened by the devlog timeline, but, eh. The last thing we want on a release of this magnitude is a rush job. And, frankly, if he then spends a couple weeks finishing this up, it may make a good Christmas present. (Or a distraction during finals...)

[Vector]

You were expecting him not to leave? I mean I got the impression he regularly spent long periods of time away from home.

I was expecting myself not to care or to be so easily won.

[LordSlowpoke]

just finished the day's work regarding moving. tired both physically and mentally, latter's mostly because of anxiety related to this whole "ffffuck my current cozy life" stuff, defeatist attitudes are not helping

i now live about 300m from the beach, near a fuckton of various shops and service centers and a medium-sized hub of public transport but other than the second what do you need if you don't know anyone and barely ever go anywhere argh

i think i may be venting here often in the days that follow.

[Pnx]

You were expecting him not to leave? I mean I got the impression he regularly spent long periods of time away from home.

I was expecting myself not to care or to be so easily won.

You really want that deep father-daughter bond with him don't you?

I'm sorry, that sounds really crappy. But on the up side I think it speaks well of you in a human emotion context.

[Descan]

just finished the day's work regarding moving. tired both physically and mentally, latter's mostly because of anxiety related to this whole "ffffuck my current cozy life" stuff, defeatist attitudes are not helping

i now live about 300m from the beach, near a fuckton of various shops and service centers and a medium-sized hub of public transport but other than the second what do you need if you don't know anyone and barely ever go anywhere argh

i think i may be venting here often in the days that follow.

Why didn't you use your magic powers to levitate all the stuff?

Or better yet, just teleport it all to your new home?

[LordSlowpoke]

if i were that dedicated and advanced i'd just build a tower in the middle of nowhere via manipulation of aquifer pressure and similar silliness and teleport things out of shops in the city or the factories themselves straight to my hand

i never claimed to be more competent than managing to bring myself to the brink of insanity via a miscast of a fire spell guys. pls dont make me into a memetic archmage else an actual one might hunt me down if they exist and that would be probably bad

pls

[Sirus]

just finished the day's work regarding moving. tired both physically and mentally, latter's mostly because of anxiety related to this whole "ffffuck my current cozy life" stuff, defeatist attitudes are not helping

i now live about 300m from the beach, near a fuckton of various shops and service centers and a medium-sized hub of public transport but other than the second what do you need if you don't know anyone and barely ever go anywhere argh

i think i may be venting here often in the days that follow.

Why didn't you use your magic powers to levitate all the stuff?

Or better yet, just teleport it all to your new home?

I'm assuming he used all of his spells previously and hasn't yet had an extended rest.

[Vector]

You really want that deep father-daughter bond with him don't you?

I'm sorry, that sounds really crappy. But on the up side I think it speaks well of you in a human emotion context.

I genuinely dislike being such an emotional, loyal, forgiving person.  Usually those things come with a more easy-going and open personality than I have, which makes it bearable.  Either of these things by themselves is fine, but it's a really stupid combination.

[Pnx]

What exactly do you feel is wrong with your personality, is it that you think you're too clingy and easily hurt?

[Vector]

What exactly do you feel is wrong with your personality, is it that you think you're too clingy and easily hurt?

No, I'm just saying that being a very emotional person who is prone to stress and tension and would like to be a stoic type people can look up to is a really bad combination.  I'm internally clingy and externally aloof, since the former feels really undignified, and everything is just kind of an awful layered shenanigan with alternating layers of caring too much and caring too little (the world's most melancholic jawbreaker).

Emotions are exhausting.  I've been less empathetic in the past just to protect myself from them, and now it feels like there's an unbearable amount of color in the environment.  It's over-stimulating.  I'm really looking forward to moving out and, in the near future, cutting down on the amount of stuff I own.  God, I'm just so tired of the volume of things to pay attention to.  There's too much stuff in the universe and I'm starting to notice the damage from trying to filter it out.

That's why I tend to not get out much, by the way.  Dealing with the attendant feelings is just too tiring.  Also why I wear mostly dark colors (with the occasional white) and am really anal about things being well-organized.  The alternative is just too exhausting to handle.  I feel like I'm a crowd shoved into one person's skin.

[Pnx]

So you're saying you're an emotional and clingy person on the inside, but you don't want to seem clingy, so you pretend to be very aloof and uncaring. Which apparently doesn't work out very well for you?

If I may, what exactly is it about being "clingy/emotional" that makes you want to not be "clingy/emotional"?

Also I completely hear you about being overwhelmed by the outside world... Though I think my experiences sound a little bit different from what you're expressing. It can often be difficult for me to tune out the "noise" of the world around me unless it feels very familiar to me.

[Vector]

It feels weak.

[Pnx]

Yeah, that makes sense, I can think of more than a few reasons why you might not want to be "weak"...

Well this is what I'm going to say about weakness and vulnerability; It's an unfortunate side effect of being a human being, you're going to have weaknesses, and you're going to be vulnerable. Trying to live in denial of that is typically not helpful.

I think Sun Tzu has something like 50 different quotes about how true strength comes from knowing one's own weaknesses.

I think you should probably try to learn to accept that you're going to grow attached to people, and that's sometimes going to lead to you getting hurt. Which is not the same as saying you should just let it happen at every turn, but that you should understand that it's just... kind of going to be a thing that happens in your life.

[Tiruin]

That isn't being weak..it's you being who you are despite whatever the environment throws at you. Or..it seems weak because it seems taxing...err, I can't find anyway to describe it but I can totally relate--don't mind the logical lapse there, I don't know how to say it.

I genuinely dislike being such an emotional, loyal, forgiving person.  Usually those things come with a more easy-going and open personality than I have, which makes it bearable.  Either of these things by themselves is fine, but it's a really stupid combination.

Well, you know yourself--there is nothing wrong at all with being like that, only that if you are affected badly, it reacts in a different manner than a 'stoic' individual or something more suited to those characteristics, but that's you and there's nothing wrong with how they coincide, really.

Pnx says the truth. Those things...happen, and avoiding or disliking the feelings is normal, but disliking how you are seems to be a disjunction.

..Ok I just re-read and see how badly worded I am. My intent was to explain on personality defenses, conscious and subconscious and all that to try to help. >_> What I'm trying to say is Accept your emotions, not 'Deal with It' but to work with yourself on that point. That you don't need to be strong or hardened to take it well, or that you seem any lesser because you can't--it's in fact, a true value of strength to admit any of such, that you're lacking and that you don't like lacking, and other parts on what is bothering you and why.

[Frumple]

Ehn. Weakness in the sense that it's other people effecting you, it seems t'me. When other people control (intentionally or not) your emotional state, then they are in a position of strength over you, at least in the emotional arena. Would be a way of looking at it. Weakness comes from a lack of control. S'basically what weakness is. The thing in question having their state of being being dictated by outside forces, and said thing's ability to resist that. When the state of others dictates your emotional state, then it could, indeed, been seen as comparatively weak in some way.

Thing is, weakness isn't necessarily a negative trait. Lack of control is lack of control. Whether that lack is a bad or good thing depends on other variables. Sometimes a thing breaking under stress, so to speak (since it's not really breaking inasmuch as attaching or whathaveyou, in the case presented), is a good thing. Vec's probably better aware of whether it is or isn't a good thing than the rest of us, heh. And even if it is a good thing, ceding that kind of control (or, perhaps worse, having it taken, as V seems to be distressed by) can indeed be unpleasant, in and of itself. Even if the results thereof are net positive, and doubly so when they're not.