Sounds kind of like growing, building on yourself, and so on, is a more significant part of how you define yourself than what you've already accomplished. Where you're going is more important than where you are. And, probably, this is something that's been expected of you and, by this point, it's just such a standard part of your personality that changing it would feel like giving up what it means to be you, and besides that it would be disappointing to people just because it's unexpected, and you don't want that to happen because you care about some of the people in question.
And because at any given time you'll never be where you're going, because there's always more space to grow and more ideas and experiences to make part of Vector, you're unsatisfied. More than that, you expect that people aren't satisfied with you because if you know you aren't what you want to be yet, you surely can't be what they want you to be. There might or might not be people explicitly driving you on to be more and more than you are, but either way you feel like you have to keep on trying because if not, what else is there for you to do? What does it mean to be Vector when you're done?
Point is, focusing on what you have probably doesn't help because it's not really the problem. It's not what you want. As always, I'm not completely sure, but the struggle, the experience, of getting them sounds like it's core to something or other.