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[Solifuge]

I'm sorry to hear about all that... some people are insensitive assholes. They might be stuck in their own world, and unaware of what they were doing, if that makes it any easier.

Anyway, I'm sending positive vibes your way. Even threw in a prayer to an entity whose nature, identity, or existence I'm entirely uncertain of. I kept myself disciplined, and did my best to be respectful, and not think any snarky thoughts at it either. I tried both reasoning and emotional appeals, as well as an appeal to its sense of Altruism. I figured it's not going to help unless it's at least somewhat Altruistic, so that seemed like the best way to go.

P.S. If your life suddenly gets worse, I sincerely apologize for communing improperly, or with the wrong supernatural entity, and getting you caught in the middle. :I

[Xantalos]

I'm sorry to hear about all that... some people are insensitive assholes. They might be stuck in their own world, and unaware of what they were doing, if that makes it any easier.

Anyway, I'm sending positive vibes your way. Even threw in a prayer to an entity whose nature, identity, or existence I'm entirely uncertain of. I kept myself disciplined, and did my best to be respectful, and not think any snarky thoughts at it either. I tried both reasoning and emotional appeals, as well as an appeal to its sense of Altruism. I mean, I figure it's not going to help unless it's at least somewhat Altruistic, so that seemed like the best way to go.

P.S. If your life suddenly gets worse, I sincerely apologize for communing improperly, or with the wrong supernatural entity, and getting you caught in the middle. :I

I'll try to intercede should this occur.

[Vector]

Thank you, you two ;_;

I'm just going to sit here eating ice cream and thinking about crying for a little while longer, though, if it's all the same to you two fine fellows.

[Tiruin]

We're here for you. By that, I also mean me and my close friends are praying for you Vector (and all others concerned)..

I mean, I can't even fathom people to be...like that. Even a gesture of appreciation or...

...I am not making this into a rant. :/ But I really feel bad at what happened to you.

*hugs*

[Blargityblarg]

this sickness has lasted altogether far too long

my ears are alternating on a weeklong cycle about which one will be permanently popped and (feels like) stuffed with wet cardboard. Meanwhile, it hurts to swallow, or speak with any kind of volume or authority, I am having semiconstant headaches, except for the very rim of my right eye, whichfeels like I cracked it on a tablein the space of the last thirty seconds, only all the time.

At least the fucking fever seems to be gone.

[Skyrunner]

The realization that I'm most likely an average, lazy bum. =/

[Descan]

* Descan gives Skyrunner an average, lazy high-five.

Not with my bum, though.

Sad: Glasgow Masters program is 16500 pounds for international students.

That's about 25600 dollars.

For 12 months.

My wallet is crying just thinking about it.

[Yoink]

Guys, my computer broke.

What happened? Internal kablooey, slowdowns, boot problems?

All of the above, near as I can tell. I am not the most computer-savvy fellow, sadly.

@Vector: Kinda hard typing this on my phone, but I feel the need to contribute re: rude ungrateful people- that is seriously not cool. Going to see a film/eat with friends is not about critiquing the film or the food (or the friends!), it's about having fun.
What a bunch of phallusheads. *sympathies*

[tompliss]

Even the nerds I brought this time didn't know how to shut up and enjoy themselves.  Whatever.

Yeah, they do that. We do that. Easier to rant than to enjoy things. And that sucks. (see ? easier...)

[Kashyyk]

My sympathies Vector. As others have said, some people don't realise how unkind they're being.

On a different track, my constant failure in the romance department got me especially down today. Not really sure why, my brain just decided it was clearly the best thing to think about at that point in time.

[Sirus]

That's just...ugh. Sounds like an awful time, Vector. Sending good thoughts your way.

[JoshuaFH]

I just hate myself so so much.

I just went to see my therapist, or shrink, or quack, or guidance counselor, or 'paid friend' as he liked to refer to it, and I don't think I could walk away feeling shittier.

First on the drive there, I fucking flip out at myself for pulling through a stop sign too fast and cutting a dude off, and I fucking freeze up and nearly stop in the intersection. I get angry and hit myself hard on my forehead a couple times, I think it left it slightly swollen for a little bit, but I'm too much of a bitch to actually hit myself hard enough to leave a real mark.

Getting there and speaking with him, it's just so hard trying to tell him stuff, my thoughts are just all over the place. In one breath I'm trying to tell him how I'm scared of keeping memories of things and places, and in another just trying desperately to convey in my fucking personal language of UMMMs and AHHHs how I feel so completely out of place in society, how I'm just not a normal person and I don't belong anywhere.

Just going to the place is such a profound kill to my mood, I just can't muster any enthusiasm in speaking about anything. I'm just speaking in this samish depressed tone for the entire hour. At the end of it all, I'm pretty sure I've only convinced the man that I'm another one of the dime a dozen depressed retards that litter society like the milkable human trash they are.

And I just can't make eye contact with the man, when I'm speaking I can't help but stare intently on the wall 60 degrees to his right. It didn't come up in the discussion, but I can't help but interpret this as another subtle personal failing.

If I needed a meeting to validate any suicidal ideation I might have, it was this. Noone needs to worry though, I'm still too much of a bitch to even consider it.

[Shakerag]

If I needed a meeting to validate any suicidal ideation I might have, it was this.

Out of curiosity, do you feel actual desire toward self-termination in that regardless of your situation you find life to be cumbersome, or do you just have a feeling more along the lines of "my life, as it stands, is nearly unbearable, and I wish I were in completely different circumstances"?

I ask just because I used to think of myself as suicidal, but after some introspection I found I had a very, very large fear of death and a large desire to continue living, but just happened to be living in a very unbearable situation.

[Bauglir]

Thank you, you two ;_;

I'm just going to sit here eating ice cream and thinking about crying for a little while longer, though, if it's all the same to you two fine fellows.

That is a good strategy. Or, by this point in time, was, but anyway.

[quinnr]

I hate waking up in the morning to people yelling at other people. It just doesn't set a good tone for the day, you know?