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[Xantalos]

Wait, you're supposed to want those things?
Really?

[Bauglir]

I just can't deal with operating on the same strict rhythms and routines and pretenses as everyone else.

Pretty much, this. I can feel my soul getting ground down by having to pretend that the necessary routines are how I want to live my life, or that I relate to the frustrations and joys so many of the people I know feel. And one of the nastiest bits here is that I know that my problems and goals are equally foreign to the people I care about. The recognition that the prison I feel is something people envy is... kinda depressing. And, too, the recognition that I'm no better about that than anyone else.

Wait, you're supposed to want those things?
Really?

Yeah, that's the impression I get. It's kind of expected by people in general. For instance, my closest friend is constantly talking about setting me up with one of her friends or otherwise trying to get me a girlfriend and doesn't seem to quite grasp that I don't really want a relationship. It occupies roughly the same level of desire as a banana split - nice, but I'm not really into it enough to do it properly. There's more nuance to it than that (I get lonely, sure), but basically the point is that I'm okay with not being in a sexual-romantic relationship and that idea is alien to even the person who's closest to me.

[Vector]

Wait, you're supposed to want those things?
Really?

Women especially are supposed to want those things, to my understanding.  A lot of it is about status.

[SalmonGod]

I just can't deal with operating on the same strict rhythms and routines and pretenses as everyone else.

Pretty much, this. I can feel my soul getting ground down by having to pretend that the necessary routines are how I want to live my life, or that I relate to the frustrations and joys so many of the people I know feel. And one of the nastiest bits here is that I know that my problems and goals are equally foreign to the people I care about. The recognition that the prison I feel is something people envy is... kinda depressing. And, too, the recognition that I'm no better about that than anyone else.

Glad I'm not the only one.  This society is definitely designed for a certain range of personalities.  If you fall outside that range, you either succeed in some crazy unlikely ambitions, or you drown.  Also, you're seen as all kinds of negative things (naive, lazy, etc) for trying to achieve those dreams, but if you do achieve them, you suddenly switch to ultimate role model.  Our culture loves its breakthrough artists and alternative thinkers with interesting lifestyles, but it hates those same people prior to breakthrough.  That's how I feel about it right now, anyway.

[Xantalos]

Wait, you're supposed to want those things?
Really?

Women especially are supposed to want those things, to my understanding.  A lot of it is about status.

...
I don't get it.

[Vector]

I think I'm also with you on the personality-boat, SalmonGod.  I look at the world, and I look at what they tell us success is, and then I... I just can't do it because it feels like adopting other people's algorithms and running them like a little robot would be antithetical to my own humanity.  Maybe that's a stubborn, prideful way to feel, but I just.  Can't.

...
I don't get it.

I mean specifically the husband + children + relationship with God + friends you go shoe shopping with combo.

I feel like men are given a bit more leeway in the "I'd rather fuck off and go live on a little island somewhere" ambition.

[Devling]

Wait, you're supposed to want those things?
Really?

Women especially are supposed to want those things, to my understanding.  A lot of it is about status.

...
I don't get it.

Listen Xantalos, some of us AREN'T massive, impossible, insanity causing horror-terrors.
You just wouldn't understand!

[SalmonGod]

I feel like men are given a bit more leeway in the "I'd rather fuck off and go live on a little island somewhere" ambition.

This is unfortunately true, and it's stupid.  I sometimes wonder just how much worse off I'd be with who I am if I happened to be opposite gender.

[Max White]

I don't get it.

It is a cultural thing.
Society (A collective of people) expects people are meant to want certain things. This is because wanting these things is productive to society. We want people to want jobs because people having jobs benefits us. We want people to want families because then our society can continue. We want people to want friends because that allows us a network to help enforce these ideals. We want people to want faith because that makes them comply to the same code of morality that we do.

It is pretty standard for any social animal, and to some degree it works. A career can be very fulfilling, a family is very rewarding, friends are comforting, you get the idea. The problem is that often perusing these things for the wrong reasons can have negative effects. You don't start a family because of the expectation (Well sometimes you do, but it isn't ideal), you start a family because it feels right for yourself.

With the complexity of humanity taken into account, it is clear that the same path won't work for everybody, and these arn't the only goals to reach for. Some choose creative or intellectual achievement instead of the given choices, for example.

[Bauglir]

I feel like men are given a bit more leeway in the "I'd rather fuck off and go live on a little island somewhere" ambition.

You're probably right on this. I don't feel much pressure having to do with children, or with friends. In that regard, it seems like whatever I wind up doing is assumed to be okay. I'm grateful for that, but frustrated that I'm lucky about it.

[ThatOneGuy]

I watched Grave of the Fireflies.


*sniff* *sniff*

[alway]

I watched Grave of the Fireflies.


*sniff* *sniff*

That'll do it. Everyone needs to see that movie.

[GlyphGryph]

I think I'm also with you on the personality-boat, SalmonGod.  I look at the world, and I look at what they tell us success is, and then I... I just can't do it because it feels like adopting other people's algorithms and running them like a little robot would be antithetical to my own humanity.  Maybe that's a stubborn, prideful way to feel, but I just.  Can't.

Except you're trying to. And it's making you miserable. But you're not alone - a great many people end up this way. I dare say this is actually probably pretty normal.

And anyway, you're much better off on the "steal a bunch of shit and run off into the night" ambition than men are, at least. I never thought I'd see the day that a passerby would offer to help someone steal something but apparently this is fairly common for female members of the profession. >_> While white men are mostly ignored or questioned, and black men are practically outright attacked. It's a weird world we live in, a weird weird world. Or the computer tv is lying to me again. Too bad you're probably not interested in abusing your powers, though.

[Xantalos]

I don't get it.

It is a cultural thing.
Society (A collective of people) expects people are meant to want certain things. This is because wanting these things is productive to society. We want people to want jobs because people having jobs benefits us. We want people to want families because then our society can continue. We want people to want friends because that allows us a network to help enforce these ideals. We want people to want faith because that makes them comply to the same code of morality that we do.

It is pretty standard for any social animal, and to some degree it works. A career can be very fulfilling, a family is very rewarding, friends are comforting, you get the idea. The problem is that often perusing these things for the wrong reasons can have negative effects. You don't start a family because of the expectation (Well sometimes you do, but it isn't ideal), you start a family because it feels right for yourself.

With the complexity of humanity taken into account, it is clear that the same path won't work for everybody, and these arn't the only goals to reach for. Some choose creative or intellectual achievement instead of the given choices, for example.

Hmm. I never really understood the whole social animal thing, but that's me.

[Vector]

Maybe physically attractive women >_>  I'm not sure that I, with my "furriner" looks, would fare so well.

(I did see the video)


I'm not trying to follow the algorithm at the moment.  I'm trying to imagine a new path for myself, where perhaps I have to follow the algorithm for a little while, but then I get what I want.