"Hey Dad, how are you? Yes it's good to see you. No, I'm not too worried about the pile of bottles your roommate left in the garage, I know he drinks a lot. No I don't think you're an alcoholic, Dad.
How have you been? Oh yeah, I heard about the surgery... I'm glad that went okay. I was really worried when I heard your blood pressure was that high... really, you should not have been able to stand and think clearly, let alone drive to the hospital. What was wrong? Oh, really? And the cyst was 5 lbs? At least they got it out okay, and you're... oh. And the doctor said it was hereditary? That's... good to know.
So what have you been up to? Nice! Yes, that is a very nice gun you have. No, I can't hold it in one hand and aim it accurately, that would be silly. It is a rifle, and it is huge and made of metal. Yes, I've still never shot a gun before. No I'm not very worried about people breaking into my home and assaulting me, I have nothing anyone would want. What does the IKH stand for? Oh. "I Kick Hippies." Okay.
Hey, speaking of guns, did you hear about 3D Printers, and the possibility that people could start printing functional guns? Could mean weird things for gun control laws. What are your thoughts on... oh, but... Dad, but... actually no, the government does not put Fluoride in the water to kill people, it's to... yes it's a toxic chemical, but it's extremely diluted, enough that it's harmless. The point is that it kills bacteria in the mouth without harming you. Since they started doing it, the incidence of tooth decay has gone down way more than... er... no Dad, I did not hear that it combines with The Vaccinations to make even more toxic chemicals in your bloodstream. In fact, nothing in my worldview or knowledge of science supports that that is even possible. Okay. We can agree to disagree on that, Dad.
Well anyway, it was nice seeing you. I love you Dad, and take care. Maybe I can see you again on Father's Day? Oh, well, if you have the time free, it'd be nice. Yes, Dad, it really was nice to see you. Yeah, I love you too, again. Have a good night. Yeah. Really, I do love you. Bye."