I've looked into a therapists, but the cost is an issue. Part of the problem with not coming out is that they expect me to recover from my psychological/emotional problems. I can't address those without addressing my trans issues. :<
Maybe I should move this to the advice section.
For what it's worth, I can relate pretty well to what you're saying. Been there; still there.
1.) Careful coming out to people if you are not financially stable and those people can negatively effect you or cut you off. The best way I've seen to deal with this is to think long term. In the short run, there isn't a whole heck of a lot you can do. If you require your family's support, then keeping that will help you do things later. Losing it will not....
2.) Gender norms and complying with them. This is difficult. You learn to fake it, basically. It's a terrible answer and one we should never have to deal with, but .... Speaking from personal experience, try not to become bitter about having to put up a front. Sadly, the world demands several things from most people that make no sense.
3.) Concerning the GLBT community: I'm unsure if its possible for you to have some connection to them, but if it is, making some friends among them might help. Most of them (especially the older ones) understand the idea of needing secrecy. However, this is not a universal thing.
4.) Therapy may be difficult if not incredibly difficult to acquire with limited resources. If you have a county mental health board or if there is a psychologist nearby, consider asking them for a referral after explaining your financial situation upfront: that you are broke. There may be some sort of resource that can help. Granted, there may not be, but looking is half the battle.
5.) Hold on to hope. If you are like most people, you'll need this to keep going. There are possibilities you probably can't foresee, because nobody can. Perhaps you'll find a female friend who ends up being ok with cross dressing and transgender individuals. Maybe there might be a well hidden GLBT support group nearby. (This is highly location dependent). Maybe you might be able to get a couple of terrible jobs and work really hard to make up the time/wage (I get that this is incredibly difficult). Maybe later, in a few years, this economy might actually turn around and you'll get a good job. If you give up, you will never have a chance of winning.
That is, of course, unless you're like me and you tend to cling to hate instead of hope (not giving up because doing so would prove certain people right when they said I was worthless). Either way, hang in there.