Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[SalmonGod]

Try the salmon!

What?  I'm married!       

Are you saying a married man can't be fried?

Man... I think I'm already fried today.  (so long as the game is free subversion of context here)

Sleep has been rather screwed the last couple days.  Got myself an energy drink to get through work tonight.  Normally I get one of the big Monsters with the screw-on lid, and only drink like 1/3 of it in a night, without needing to exercise any self-restraint.  Tonight I feel a massive urge to just down the thing.

And my mind is constantly wandering in the most random directions.  Spacing out constantly.

[Nadaka]

So I was doing a 12 or 13? hour shift at work, pulling yet another miracle out of my ass... And I ate candy for dinner, only to just get home and find out that my mother actually cooked some edible food tonight! fuck it all, I soooo need a raise.

[Xantalos]

Just read Animal Farm. MotherF*CKER, George Orwell, when you write satire, you write good satire.

[Mr Space Cat]

Feelin' depressed.

Spoiler: Wall o' Ramblin' Text (click to show/hide)

Feelin' like life is a pointless bitch. My motivation is dead in a corner, all my little projects and goals and "dreams" are pointless, terrible, or will never go anywhere. Any silly dreaming of majoring in music or audio engineering or whatever the hell it is that involves recording and composing music is stupid and pointless because I haven't made any progress as it is, my guitar-playing is inadequate, various musical terms and techniques fly over my head and I have no resources or time for recording, mixing, composing, practicing, etc.

My art is terrible and any silly thoughts of majoring in "graphic design" or any art thing is pointless because as my drawing teacher said "I'm just not motivated enough" for the XTREMEHARDCORE art field.

Video games are just timewasters to aid in escaping from shittyass reality and through them I've wasted most of my childhood and even now I'm wasting time with them in high school; making video games takes too much time, motivation, and patience, which I don't have to pull it off. Another dream dead.

I have few people I'd consider good friends, never had any romantic relationship, and anything social involving "meeting new people" or "working as a group" freaks and stresses me the hell out. I'm cynical, distrusting of strangers on sight, and I'm pretty sure I'm some kind of freak. Did I mention I have no self-esteem and loathe myself? Yeah, I must be some freak. The only things that make me feel like a decent person is all the projects I assign myself...which are pointless fruitless shit so now I have nothing really.

I'm burned out of school. It's too much stress, both socially and physically, and mentally it's brainnumbing. It's painful knowing that at school I'm losing lifetime that could be spent on one of my many stupid pointless and incomplete projects, such as, oh, I dunno, playing guitar and actually feeling accomplished with myself. Being surrounded by people who seem perfectly happy, stressfree, and "normal" is grating. The thought of more weeks of this shit until summer is painful, and even then I'd have to go back soon after.

I hate life at the present, and I'm facing a future where hope is dead; where I'm just another corporate drone slaving life away all for a paycheck in a crummy stereotypical office cubicle who's doomed to be alone, and I'm stuck with the only companion being my own self-loathing thoughts picking out every last mistake I make for the rest of my life.

A future that's hardly different than the present of slaving away in school with constant mental bitching at myself. I'm a gawddamned junior with no clear idea where I'm going, what I'm doing, or why I'm even doing it, while everyone else seems perfectly great. High school is supposed to be the "best time of your life" yet I've hated it for the chore it is and if I can actually look back on my life and discover high school sadly enough was the best time, then I will strangle myself to death with my feet.

I hate the thought that things will never improve, and that whatever pointless hopes I may entertain will be fruitless failures for reminding me of my useless, pitiful inadequacy.

I admit I've constantly had thoughts that I'd be better off dead so that then I could finally get away from myself. Probably I will kill myself eventually, in some distant future point. I doubt I'd do anything for a while though.

...and now I'm bitchin' about it all on an online forum. Good job me, good job. At least typing this out made me feel a bit better. Better venting than walking out into some woods and screaming it out.

If you excuse me, I'm gonna go dig myself into a corner for the next millennium. Disregard post.

[SalmonGod]

Request to disregard post denied. 

The people around you that seem perfectly happy and normal in high school are mostly losers who are only that way because they are living carefree right now.  I also found high school completely de-motivating and ended up wasting a lot of my time on doing nothing because of it, and most every high school student I've known who actually cares about anything has reacted the same way.  There are only a couple subjects in high school (in my experience, anyway) that are taught in a style that tries to get you to actually understand the subject.  Everything else only teaches you to jump through hoops like a good little patriotic gear in a machine.  Things change drastically when you escape that hell.  The chronic misfit underachievers go through an adjustment period where everything's a mess, but then motivation drastically increases because life is no longer about being force fed empty bullshit just to prove you can regurgitate it anymore.

So just keep looking to the horizon, because there are changes ahead.  Ending up a drudgery corporate slave is a possibility.  It's a likelihood, even.  But it's not the same as what you're going through now, where you have no choice.  There's no escaping high school.  You just have to get through it.  And it's depressing.  There IS escaping corporate slavery, and just having that potential there can make such a big difference in your outlook.

[Ogdibus]

.

[Max White]

I just watched hunger.
Its ok, I didn't need to ever feel a sense of happiness again.

[Dutchling]

I've been studying for a two test this week.

I just heard that I already failed for one of the two courses, without even taking the test. I also just found out the the other test in not in two days, as I thought, but in three months.

Blergh.

[Trapezohedron]

I miss my mom.
Ever since she turned herself for witness protection concerning that dreaded event last year, I haven't been able to see her since. She left around December 2012. Now, it's now 1/4 of 2013, and I still haven't been able to see her. The one responsible for all this was a relative of one of the Malaysian government peoples, and he was (un)fortunately apprehended there. Our f**king government decided they wanted the Malaysians to handle the situation first, and decided to wait instead of enforcing their claim on that f**ker. It was either the perpetrator shows up, or my mom waited until all the cases against the company (and in effect, also her) would be finished and she won all of those.

So, I guess I have to go through the slow path and wait for approximately 2 years. It could be even more, depending on what outlandish accusation the muslim mob has to claim.

[Dutchling]

Damn :/

[Max White]

That is horrible!
I'm very sorry to hear that New Guy, I hope things work out in the end.

[Neonivek]

Gonna fail the exam I was easily the most prepared for

[Kansa]

This... Just this

[Neonivek]

This... Just this

There is so much "How does this happen?" that I am perplexed as to what I should think.

[Neonivek]

This... Just this

I think those students need their heads putting through walls.

I'd say it'd knock some sense into them, but they probably have a sense (and moral) deficit.

It isn't exactly that.

Think back to Lord of the Flies when they dropped a boulder on a kid. They didn't do it to hurt or kill the child, they just really weren't thinking.

It was likely that the students involved (not the one who took the picture) weren't thinking.

Either that or there is missing information (Which there is) that is important.

Mind you, at the same time I really wonder if I should blame the girl for committing suicide. A certain part of me says that I shouldn't romanticise it by putting the blame entirely on the kids and by doing so I am only condoning her suicide. Another part of me says that mental instability says that she likely wasn't in control of her own actions. At the same time unlike most "Cyberbullying" articles this one actually involved something genuinly horrific rather then simple harsh bullying.

I am very heartless, intentionally, sometimes but the only way to enlightenment is to consider all sides and angles to an arguement even if one is the easiest.

Either way it was tragic and I wish her parents my deepest sympathies.