Bought a small little gift for my boyfriend and a card.
Very rude religious person behind me in line appears to have seen card and put two and two together....
[She drones on about how god can save me from teh wicked ways of teh gay] After a while she asks,
"Are you listening to me?"
Me, simply not able or willing to care one bit: "Nope, that's why my eyes are glazed over and I'm not looking at you."
Her: "Don't you want to be saved? [somewhat shocked] You'll end up in Hell if you don't...."
Me: "Madam, so long as you're not in Hell, I shall gladly burn forever. The suffering would be less."
Her: "But God wants! ...." [cutoff]
Me: [sigh, soft voice] "I don't care; I just don't care, at all.... If there is such a thing as a soul, then I don't really care where it 'ends up' and if I do have a "soul," which believe me, I of all people don't, then it's my business what happens to it and not yours. I've never bothered you or done a thing to you; please leave me alone."
This of course leads to more ranting from her, now she's actively accusing me of being part of a "ho mo sexual" agenda.... She made sure to say each syllable, "HO, MO, Sexual," with plenty of disgust in her voice. She also uttered several lines straight out of Faux News.... Last time I checked it wasn't illegal to be ho, mo, sexual, or any combination of the three, but what do I know. Meanwhile the poor checkout clerks don't know what the hell to do and I really can't blame 'em.
She actually tried to follow me as I left while leaving her stuff at the cash register.... Something or other about how I'm destroying "America" and "Family Values" and "This Country" and who knows what other manner of demonizations. Oddly, she didn't look like you might be imagining. She appeared to be your ordinary late 20s early 30 something woman who ... you probably wouldn't pick out of a crowd as nuts or even necessarily bad looking or fundie. Stealth jerk, decloaked....
Thankfully, there weren't any other customers in the store, but did I mention I'm terrified of being outed for several reasons including having to deal with entire congregations of people like this...? I am. I know all the right words to say to either prove her wrong or get her off my back but neither would get through. Something or other about pearls before swine....
I just remember silently hoping she gets hit by a bus full of nuns. If the impact didn't kill her, the irony might.
Thank you for ruining the one night of my 80 to 100 hour workweek I look forward to.