Not at all happy at the moment.
The worst bit is that it's mostly/partially my fault that my life is going nowhere. I tried, I really tried, I moved out of my awful home situation, found an affordable sharehouse in the city I spent the good bits of my childhood in, and was fully prepared to look for work when the unemployment agency got on my case.
The thing is, they didn't- I seem to have fallen through the cracks. I haven't been called in for an interview since well before I moved.
Naturally, my good intentions fell by the wayside as my lazy nature asserts itself and embraces this Tsituation.
So I've been sitting around, spending more and more time in my room on the computer. I do go out and about in the city often, which is good, and even to the occasional gig(where I get drunk and jump around. At least the same stigma isn't attached to drinking alone when it's at a show.
).
But I have achieved absolutely zero since I moved out. No friends, I haven't gotten around to learning the banjo, haven't decided on anything to study, I piss away my free money on comic books and CDs, and to top it off I'm beginning to dislike my clean-freak housemates- even though they are otherwise nice people.
I visited an old friend (if I'm honest, probably my only real friend remaining) two states south a couple months ago. That was awesome, starting with his 19th birthday party and going from there, I pretty much became a cool, sociable (at least compared to usual) person for a month.
Now, back in -my- city, everything just seems bland, quiet, nowhere near as interesting.
This is the city I've loved since I was a small child, but now all I see are sun-scorched expanses of concrete, ugly modern buildings and tacky overpriced bars where Melbourne has interesting streets and lanes all over the place, cheap beer, so much great live music most nights that you're spoiled for choice, a thriving scene of artists etc and WHOLE STREETS of beautiful old buildings- and I'm talking central, busy roads here!
That took me a while to get used to, that feeling. The idea that there might be a city better than Brisbane is a hell of a pill to swallow. (I still feel like a traitor for thinking it!)
But the question remains, if I DID live in Melbourne, would it seem so great? Would I be happy THERE, or is the problem with me? Could I be happy living ANYWHERE?
Whatever, at least one upside of this situation is that I am getting a fair chunk of cash each fortnight- enough, if I control my impulsive spending, to pay my rent, feed myself AND still have some to save. So that's what I'm trying to do.
I'm thinking I might go back over to Indonesia for a while- I enjoyed the time I've spent over there in the past, and I could afford to live decently well. Perhaps in the meantime I will go stay out in the country with my dad and help him renovate his house, hopefully picking up some carpentry skills in the process.
...This post is probably really long. It is, isn't it? I can't tell, I'm posting from my phone. Yes, with Swype.
I won't know what a marathon post it is til I'm on a computer, but I apologize in advance.
I was on a long train ride, with wifi, in a bad mood. Quite a combination, I guess.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9477228 times)