@ashes: that sounds like a textbook case of a
psychologically abusive mother, both how she talks and how it's affecting you. And you're dad sounds like he's in denial, or just not getting involved.
It's not you (at all!), it's THEM 100%, especially your mother, in this case.
For those who grew up living with Mommy Dearest, Mother's Day isn't always a celebration. Adult victims of maternal abuse don't have warm memories of spending time with a loving, supportive mother and they may still suffer from low self-esteem and depression.
Many studies show when mothers criticize, humiliate and withhold their affection, the toll it takes can last for a lifetime, according to ABC News.
Women comprise 56% of all abusers, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And of the various kinds of abuse, which include physical and sexual, the most common form is psychological.
Resource page about abusive mothers:
http://eqi.org/eam1.htmQuick quiz about your mother:
http://eqi.org/ptest.htmHere's their checklist of abusive mother traits:
General Characteristics of Emotionally Abusive Mothers
Making the child/teen feel responsible for the mother's feelings.
Threatening them in general.
Threatening them specifically with rejection or abandonment.
Threatening them with vague, unstated consequences.
Using force upon them.
Invalidating their feelings.
Laying undeserved guilt on them.
Placing undeserved blame on them.
Dominating the conversations.
Refusing to apologize.
Always needing to have the last word.
Judging or rejecting their friends.
Sending them to their rooms for crying.
Locking them out of the house.
Using punishments and rewards to manipulate and control them.
Invading their privacy.
Under-estimating them.
Failing to show trust in them.
Labeling them.
Criticizing them.
Giving them the silent treatment.
Failing to give them real explanations.
Giving non-explanations such as "because it is wrong" or "because it is inappropriate" or "because it is a sin"
Slapping (see below)