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[Jerick]

I'm curious, are you saying that because that is how you feel or your education is telling you that is how you feel?  As in, if you didn't know anything about psychology/sociology or the dynamics of divorce and its effects upon children, would you feel that way and come to the conclusion that your parents stunted your social growth?

My parents not divorcing is what stunted my social growth. Most sources will claim that divorce is a bad thing for children, but I disagree. I think that such an assertion is the result of our pro-marriage culture biasing how we interpret data. The truth is that divorce is, in all honestly, usually a good thing. People who don't want to be together being together is what causes these problems in the first place, and the fallout of that conflict afflicts the developing children more than anyone else.

Your question is pretty strange to begin with, though. "If I didn't know anything about the topic I am considering, would I still have my opinion on it?"

My parents divorced and I'm glad they did,
They didn't get on and they both became immensely stressed because they tried to keep up the charade for the sake of me and my brothers.
This stress would manifest in ugly ways and everything became better when they seperated.

[RedKing]

I guess I'm hoping that'll hold true in my case as well. But it's going to be godawful tough to go from seeing my children every day (and tucking them in at night) to seeing them a couple of times a month. 

By law in NC, you have to be living seperately for at least one year prior to filing a divorce. So she wants me out by next Saturday, so the clock can start ticking. *sigh*

[Tellemurius]

hold on, who pays for the house? she wants a divorce she should leave herself.

[Nadaka]

hold on, who pays for the house? she wants a divorce she should leave herself.

That is not how people think.

[pisskop]

I agree that this is wrong.  Alimony and/or child support may be one thing (and even alimony is...) but ripping away all assets and custody?

Speaking of custody, I don't suppose there is hope of you retaining it, is there?

[RedKing]

There's....extenuating circumstances.

Ah fuck it, I'll be blunt -- I cheated on her. She found out. She's understandably royally fucking pissed.
So yeah...I'm not "a great guy", guys. I appreciate the sympathies but I brought this on myself. I'm still hoping to somehow work this out, but I probably nuked that bridge from orbit.

Sorry to disappoint everyone.

[Korbac]

You're a stronger man for saying so. I still wish you the best during these unfortunate times. What you did was wrong, but it's likely you've beaten yourself up enough for it.

You're an honest man, RedKing. And that's much more than can be said for a lot of 'wrong' people.

[Tellemurius]

Well my father is doing fine now, he had a anxiety attack all night and his xanax wasn't kicking in probably due to all of the medication hes on from his rotator cuff surgery. this guy is only 47 but he needs to stop soon, he worries so much and his health is deteriorating so rapidly, hes out of work for 6 months, guess its a vacation for him abated with pain. Its the few things driving me to get a degree these days. i want to pay back all of the hard work my parents ever had to go through to get where they are now. From my mother escaping her country for a better life, to my father who grew up in a seperated family doing 3 jobs and full time school. I wanna give my father a chance to go back to school and earn a associates and go on teaching for his job career.

There's....extenuating circumstances.

Ah fuck it, I'll be blunt -- I cheated on her. She found out. She's understandably royally fucking pissed.
So yeah...I'm not "a great guy", guys. I appreciate the sympathies but I brought this on myself. I'm still hoping to somehow work this out, but I probably nuked that bridge from orbit.

Sorry to disappoint everyone.

Well man I can't hate you for it just im afraid this is really going to bite you in the ass now....

[kaijyuu]

Mmmm. RedKing, you still are a great guy, though that was pretty damn irresponsible and foolish of you to do.

I still extend sympathies for your bad situation. And I will note, no matter what, it's not "all your fault." A decent chunk is, sure, but not all

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Just because you cheated on her doesn't mean you shouldn't demand equal custody.

[Jerick]

Sorry to disappoint everyone.

Dude doing hugely stupid things is to be human (and that goes double with anything involving relationships).
You talk like doing this robs you of the right to have support, it was a mistake, mistakes happen, sometimes they badly hurt people, sometimes that's physicaly, other times not so.
But it doen't mean people should hang you out to dry.
I'm not disappointed in you and I do hope things work out for you.

[RedKing]

Just because you cheated on her doesn't mean you shouldn't demand equal custody.

I don't know that I want equal custody. I'm not great father material. I yell a lot. I have a lot of trouble handling them both on my own.

More to the point, custody courts aren't terribly inclined to give the male equal custody rights, especially when he's the proximate cause of the split. That'll be an argument for down the road in any case. For the next year, we're still legally married-but-seperated so custody isn't a legal issue yet (I don't think....I've got a lot of reading to do).

[Mephansteras]

Good luck, man. I hope everything turns out well for all of you!

[Lysabild]

Maybe it's just me, but the fact that you had a sidestep doesn't make you a worse father and just because you made the mistake that makes her want to split doesn't mean she should get everything.

You both deserve to get out of this as human beings, no one should lose something from this, in fact I'll go as far and say this is supposed to be a win/win situation since you obviously weren't happy anyway.

Don't let yourself get stepped on in this, your kids deserve a dad.

[pisskop]

Maybe it's just me, but the fact that you had a sidestep doesn't make you a worse father and just because you made the mistake that makes her want to split doesn't mean she should get everything.

You both deserve to get out of this as human beings, no one should lose something from this, in fact I'll go as far and say this is supposed to be a win/win situation since you obviously weren't happy anyway.

Don't let yourself get stepped on in this, your kids deserve you as a dad.

ftfy