MSH, doubt it'd help, but I've been in a somewhat similar situation most of my life. My near daily litany for many, many years (and still not uncommon one) is
For every evil under the sun,
There is a cure, or there is none;
If there be one, try and find it,
If there be none, never mind it."
If you can't do anything about the situation, do what it takes to put it out of your mind. Hate takes up so much energy you could be doing something else with, y'know? Find a useful outlet, if you can. It's not easy, though. Not at all. Always the process, "Can I do anything about it? No? Then why should I care? Do I care? Yes? Then I must stop, until and unless I can do something about it. I need that energy for something else."
Somewhat easier when you don't have the luxury of anger, but despite the troubles you're having that still seems pretty safe for you to indulge in, so it'd be a bit harder. Meditation, maybe? The practical aspect if not the spiritual. If you're having anger reactions, consciously stopping the physiological aspect of it helps quite a bit with the psychological part, I've found. It's been a long, long time since it was safe for me to get angry, so there's some experience there. It seems to help, over the long run, at least. Short term gains can be difficult, but every little bit, yeah?