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[Valid_Dark]

My grandmother passed away this morning 

[Zrk2]

My grandmother passed away this morning 

Suddenly my concerns are as nothing.

[kaijyuu]

I think she's too young, and it's just weird. It's even weirder when you consider she's the her school's Christian Club thingy.

I started masturbating around age 7 or 8, and considered myself capable of giving consent around age 12. I don't know much about your sister, but I think it quite possible she knows what she's doing and is capable of handling herself.

'Course, she could make mistakes, as anyone can in a relationship. If you're interested in helping her and not shaming her, then just give friendly dating advice and a shoulder to lean on if necessary, and NOT "don't be a slut."

My grandmother passed away this morning 

* kaijyuu hugs

I've only got one grandmother left myself. Sorry dude That always sucks, especially if you're close.

[Zrk2]

then just give friendly dating advice and a shoulder to lean on if necessary, and NOT "don't be a slut."

friendly dating advice... shoulder to lean on

Two areas in which I am completely lacking.

[kaijyuu]

Haha, understandable concern then Talk to your parents? Unless they already know.

[Valid_Dark]

Yeah, we were close, I didn't get to see her very often, because she lived in a different state, but like once a year she'd fly me out, or the last two years she flew me to Oregon to go to the brewers festival (a beer festival),  she was the most super awesome grandma ever.  I have one grandmother left, and thats it for grandparents, but I'm not very close with that side of the family. 


and as far as that little sister issue, I'd say don't tell your parents.
13 isn't really too young for that sort of stuff, but any number above 5 I'd say is a bit high for a 13 year old.

I agree with Kaiyuu,

So long as she doesn't get pregnant, doesn't catch any STDs, everything's consensual, and she isn't being abused,

[Kamin]

I'm not sure if it goes here or in the rage thread, but the number of people my sister has kissed is entirely too high for a 13 year-old.

Cast her in chains.

But seriously, a thirteen year-old has no business doing that sort of thing at that age. It's not even "relative," as some of these other Bay 12ers seem to be trying to convince you of... It's just fucking dangerous. It will lead to more regret than they can comprehend, given their relatively limited amount of life experience. Really though, it's a concern, and you should probably find out a way to get her to not do that kind of thing until she's more mentally mature.

Don't be so "open minded" your brain falls out. This is not a good thing.

[Nadaka]

Dude. 13. Bit young for that kind of stuff.

My great grandmother was married at 15.

My great great grandmother was married at 13.

I vaguely remember playing "show me yours and I'll show you mine" with a neighbor girl after school in the 1st or 2nd grade.

My ex girlfriend was outright masturbating in kindergarten.

13 is a perfectly normal time to start fooling around. It is in fact late if you go by anything but the propaganda of modern conservative movement. Just so long as she plays safe and avoids the worse kinds of douchebag assholes it will be OK. There are of course limits, if she is making out with anyone and everyone who wants her, it is much less OK.

[kaijyuu]

The "danger" comes from being sheltered. Kids are fine so long as they're not *ignorant*.

IMO sex ed should come much earlier.


And I seriously would tell your parents, unless they're the "beat her until she behaves" type. I doubt they'd be as supportive as me, but it's still not something that should be hidden away, especially if she has troubles down the road (abuse, pregnancy, etc) that teenagers often get into.

[GoombaGeek]

I haven't hit puberty yet, what is even have sex in grade 8?!

[Scelly9]

The "danger" comes from being sheltered. Kids are fine so long as they're not *ignorant*.

IMO sex ed should come much earlier.

And not be total shit, as it is now.

In the homeschool group we go to, everyone is quite open about sex, and I feel that it definitely helps kids not be idiots.

[GoombaGeek]

I started masturbating around age 7 or 8, and considered myself capable of giving consent around age 12.

Um... what... um...

considered myself capable of giving consent around age 12.

um...

capable of giving consent around age 12.

capable of giving consent around age 12.

capable of giving consent around age 12.

What the fuck.
No. Seriously. What the fuck.
Gaaaah! Aaaaahh!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Maybe I'm a bit biased, but as a fourteen-year-old, what the fuck?!

I keep saying that! It's like, my entire mind is filled up with what the fuck! Okay, so anyway.
- When I was twelve, I was in Grade 8. This is because I skipped a grade in early elementary. The normal grade is probably Grade 7.
- Kids having sex in Grade 7.
- What the fuck

This is not a conservative bias leaching into my mind after years of indoctrination. This is me going "AAAH, WHAT THE FUCK, TWELVE-YEAR-OLDS HAVING SEX". Gaaah! There's a reason in here somewhere for why not to do this but it's buried under piles of AAAH WHAT THE FUCK.

So, I'm in Grade 10 now. High school, right? Lose your virginity or something? Sweet sixteen? Buy a crappy car, make out in it, exaggerate your penis size?

Nobody has talked about sex. And I mean in the hallways, in less-crowded spots, in the most vague definition of "sex" possible. This is interesting because it's a fancy school. And I have been listening. You need to write an entrance exam to get in and they only accept about one-quarter of applicants: beyond that, you need a hand-written letter of appraisal from your principal (he won't write one? tough luck) and all subjects need to be over 80% in Grade 9 (okay, this is apparently common, but who doesn't like inflating their achievements online?) and they only take in one-quarter of the applicants. It is definitely a Smart People School. If you look it up you now know exactly where I go and who I am, in which case, shit, don't ask me for consent because aaah what the fuck. So anyway, at this school, there is very little sexual anything going on (total recorded make-out count among any grade: one). It's difficult to not come to the conclusion that smart kids don't have sex in Grade 7 and what the fuck aaah. Please don't do this.

[Corai]

I blame conservapedia. And abstinence.

[Frumple]

It's difficult to not come to the conclusion that smart kids don't have sex in Grade 7 and what the fuck aaah. Please don't do this.

If this is the conclusion that "Smart People School" is leading you to come to, and your previous bit was how to reached it, then that school's failing you horribly on basic logic and proper experimental methodology. You need to kick your science teacher(s) in the shin and yell at your principle to bring in either a logician or a rhetorician. You don't have a sufficient sample size and your method of observation is hilariously poor, plus you're relying on personal observation (haphazardly gathered anecdotes, m'fellow.) instead of actual experimentation and data gathering or, y'know, research. That's just the start

Anyway. There's cultural bias against it in the states, at least, but sexual activity (if not necessarily full blown intercourse) is quite common at "young" ages, generally not long after puberty (which can vary between individual, but 8-9 isn't terribly uncommon, and the early teens is basically regular.). It's physiologically and, to a large extent, historically normal. It's only fairly recently that there's been a fairly strong negative light placed on such things, and the cultural bias is about the only thing making it even approaching psychologically abnormal, or even unwise. On the personal level, said cultural bias can go bugger itself with a cactus -- I've seen it thoroughly fuck up about a half dozen people so far, and that's only what I've personally noticed in my own fairly small sample size. Understanding goes a hell of a lot further than backlash.

And yeah, on the personal anecdote level, I've known quite a few 12 year olds (and folks in and around that age) that are and were capable of understanding the potential risks and suchlike of sexual activity to the extent I'd consider them capable of giving informed consent; it'd be considerably more common if American culture in general had a sex ed component worth a shit. Which it largely doesn't. The only reason I'd advise against it unambiguously is in regard to potential legal issues, and among peers that's usually less of a problem. Modern medical practice in regards to sexual activity largely deals with the rest of potential issues. Providing access to such is available, which is a different discussion

[Furtuka]

Urgh, bad weather traffic made me too late for the training session I wanted to go to today that would have gotten me a promotion at the place I volunteer at.