Aww I missed out on the sexuality discussion? Belated response ahoy!
MUSHY STUFF AHEAD:
For me, when puberty started, I was all about teh wummenz. I had the occasional gay wet dream or whatever, but pushed it aside as just idle thoughts. It wasn't until I came out of my teen years that I really accepted being physically attracted to men as well, though I thought it wasn't as strong an attraction. I thought myself something like 90/10 hetero/homo, and that number kept slipping more and more toward the homo end in my early 20s. And on the romance side of things, I just thought myself very aromantic; wasn't into the lovely dovey stuff. I never really wanted to date throughout high school and in my early college years, because all I cared about getting from that was sex, and didn't feel it was worth it (plus I was shy and full of self loathing). And so I didn't date at all.
This last summer, at the end of June, I had a bit of a mental breakdown. Spent a lot of time lying in bed, just thinking. About life, the future, what I wanted, all that junk. One of the random scenarios that came into my head, just thinking about what could be, was being held by a man and crying in his arms, while he said "it'll be okay." Then kissing, then [REDACTED]. And I thought to myself, "this is what I want." And I smiled, lying in bed. For the first time in several days. That fantasy gave me one of the best orgasms I've ever had too, hehe.
A dramatic shift happened that day. I want to date, I want to love, now. And I think I couldn't find anything like that before, because I was looking in the wrong place. I could probably still date and love a women, but she'd have to be rather tomboy-ish, as I want a... masculine, I guess you could say, personality for my partner. I wanna be held in someone's arms, not doing the holding.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9794157 times)