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[Cuffling]

What does being male got to do with it? my mom is quite fond of boobs. back on topic my girlfriend broke up with me a couple of days ago and isn't really giving me a reason as to why

[kaijyuu]

* kaijyuu prefers flat chests for the occasional wummenz that attracts his interest.

back on topic my girlfriend broke up with me a couple of days ago and isn't really giving me a reason as to why

She's probably being evasive out of fear of hurting you (more). If she hated you or something, she'd probably tell you why straight to your face.

[Cuffling]

She said something about feeling like i don't care or something. the internet isn't a friendly place for these kind of conversations I've noticed 

[Reudh]

Bay12's usually one of the havens for people.

Cuffling, I'd say there could be any number of reasons. If she feels you don't care... then what was your behaviour like? Were you Mr Ultra Clingy? Were you Standard Boyfriend? Were you Disinterested Sex Object?

If that's true, that you feel it's true, then have a look at how you behaved during the relationship. Of course, speaking from experience, she could be talking bullshit. My last girlfriend said that, but everyone else commented on how devoted I was. Course, didn't help when she came out. D:

[Cuffling]

Probably clingy but I tried not to be. Can't be sure because no one ever said anything. I've made it as clear as I could that i do care going so far as to say I would give up half of my family for her. Given her past she probably thought i just wanted her for the sex but I've done everything I can to show her otherwise. Problem is she won't tell me what i did to make her think that. Probably doesn't help we've haven't been able to see or really talk to each other for a few months now.

behavior was pretty perverted at night but that's a whole other story and she should know it.

My ma made sure I wouldn't need to worry about her being for the ladies so it's safe to say that's not the problem

[pisskop]

If you tried 'not to be clingy' and she complained about 'you not seeming to caring' than chances are you took it too far.  Another thing you may have done is neglected her feminine ideals.  Does she want the door held open?  Does she want flowers and romance?  Does she have expectations you didn't give thought to?

My first love (whom I still hold a flame for) I treated as one of the guys.  Just one of the guys I slept with.  I thought I was showing her respect by treating her as a man, a friend.  She ended up cheating, then I ended up cheating, then she joined the Navy, than I joined the Navy (I was going to go Marine, and shoulda, but...).  Anywho I neglected her feminine expectancies.  Too bad, her father is filthy rich.

[GlyphGryph]

She's probably being evasive out of fear of hurting you (more). If she hated you or something, she'd probably tell you why straight to your face.

I don't think I've ever seen a situation where this is the case. It's almost always because they don't want to put themselves in a position where you could be more angry with them or have a legitimate reason to be upset. So long as they don't give a reason, they can rationalize it easier later and you'll never be able to focus any anger on them.

The "don't want to hurt you" thing has never, in my experience, been anything but 100% complete unadulterated bullshit, and always, always, always actually means "I think I, myself, would be less happy if I told you, and I don't want to deal with a potential confrontation no matter how justified, so fuck you".

I've seen breakups where one party ACTUALLY cares about not hurting the second party, and that is not the way they do it. I've only seen that excuse used by the incredibly selfish people.

Maybe my experience just isn't representative, but your statement honestly seems like the opposite of reality.

[Cuffling]

I called her every day and all that jazz. She said it started about the time we moved to different states but that's all i could get from her. She wouldn't tell me what she wanted. In fact if it wasn't for her brother spilling the beans about how she felt about me we wouldn't even have got together in the first place. It seems the problem may come from the fact that we were each others first real relationship and weren't quite sure what was needed from both of us or it could be something completely different.

She's always been evasive about everything so it's not really out of the norm but it seems she doesn't think i deserve a why to her reasoning. Again i could be wrong

 

[pisskop]

Long distance relationships are hard to maintain.  Especially when you are (presumed) young.

[Cuffling]

I knew this going into it and yeah we're young

[kaijyuu]

She's probably being evasive out of fear of hurting you (more). If she hated you or something, she'd probably tell you why straight to your face.

I don't think I've ever seen a situation where this is the case. It's almost always because they don't want to put themselves in a position where you could be more angry with them or have a legitimate reason to be upset. So long as they don't give a reason, they can rationalize it easier later and you'll never be able to focus any anger on them.

The "don't want to hurt you" thing has never, in my experience, been anything but 100% complete unadulterated bullshit, and always, always, always actually means "I think I, myself, would be less happy if I told you, and I don't want to deal with a potential confrontation no matter how justified, so fuck you".

I've seen breakups where one party ACTUALLY cares about not hurting the second party, and that is not the way they do it. I've only seen that excuse used by the incredibly selfish people.

Maybe my experience just isn't representative, but your statement honestly seems like the opposite of reality.

Could be. I don't claim to be experienced in this sort of thing That was just my impression.

Anyone evasive for such reasons wouldn't be someone worthy of dating in the first place, though.

[GlyphGryph]

Heh, maybe. Honestly, wife would probably do that if she ever left me, though. She is not exactly big on confrontation or introspection. and if you're already leaving somebody (which you know will hurt them), rationalizing your selfish desires in regards to someone you no longer love could, I imagine, become exceptionally easy - even if you were honest and open within the context of the relationship, there's a reason you've left, after all - and it's because, in most cases, you were putting about yourself and your own wellbeing and desires above the other persons. And this isn't always a bad thing! Sometimes that needs to happen - if a person is miserable and doesn't want the relationship, they need to do that. And if you're already prioritizing yourself, well...

Regardless. People are who they are, but even if they are otherwise a pretty awesome person, a dick move for selfish reasons is still just that.

[Cuffling]

Not sure what to think honestly. She said she can't handle our relationship right now even though all i ask is for her to listen when i need her to. She says she still loves me like that but is already eying someone else. Says I don't care even though to my knowledge I've never done anything to make her think that. I'll admit  I've done and said some pretty stupid stuff but she said we worked past it.

Kinda makes me want to just give up on women

[pisskop]

NO!  Use what you have experienced to improve the next relationship you have.

[Cuffling]

After watching my mom suffer through many relationships with them, seeing my dad get with an idiot no one can stand, and having two rather sour experiences myself  i don't really see the good in it . though to be fair one experience wasn't really a relationship thing and we're pretty good friends