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[Truean]

Friend of mine had her boyfriend break up with her. She's taking it hard. He was actually a decent guy too, and maybe that's why ....

His only explanation: "I can't deal with this anymore; you're too needy."

[shrugs] I don't see what he's saying, but I guess there isn't a whole ton to be done about it if he feels that way. It sucks that she's just unable to stop crying and unable to eat/sleep. What can I say? Girls need certain things in relationships and they happily provide guys what they need so.... [sigh]

[kaijyuu]

IMO that's the sign he wasn't wanting as serious a relationship as her. Guys can be emotionally needy too (I sure as hell am), but that's a hassle if one side is just there for some casual fun and companionship.

Just an overall bad situation, rather than anyone's "fault," I'd say

[FearfulJesuit]

I have never really understood why people think clinginess is a bad thing.

Actually, I have a lot of thoughts on this subject...

[kaijyuu]

Well it depends on a lot of factors. The affection alone is pretty much never a bad thing, but "clinginess" becomes an issue when it results in imposition. Everyone has their own limits for personal space and personal time, plus if one person is taking up all your time, you don't have any time for anyone else (friends/etc).

[Nadaka]

I have never really understood why people think clinginess is a bad thing.

Actually, I have a lot of thoughts on this subject...

Because it consumes you and cloyingly interferes with everything you do and everything you are.

It most likely means that she does not trust him and needs to be a part of everything he does and is, in order to make sure he has no other options or interests but her.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Or it could just mean they wanted different things out of the relationship, and he wasn't able to reconcile that.

[kaijyuu]

Could be a lot of things, really. Not a black and white situation at all, at least with the given information.

[GlyphGryph]

Lets just say I would consider "clinginess" a huge reason to break it off with someone. A person acting like they can't live without me sets off all the "danger, danger, escape, escape, someone is trying to destroy you and everything you stand for for their own benefit" alarms.

* GlyphGryph shudders

A good relationship is about good dynamics, and struggling to escape the other party's attempts at suffocation are NOT good dynamics. At least not for me.

[i2amroy]

Lets just say I would consider "clinginess" a huge reason to break it off with someone. A person acting like they can't live without me sets off all the "danger, danger, escape, escape, someone is trying to destroy you and everything you stand for for their own benefit" alarms.

* GlyphGryph shudders

A good relationship is about good dynamics, and struggling to escape the other party's attempts at suffocation are NOT good dynamics. At least not for me.

The way that I think about it a good relationship is like a bridge between two pillars. The bridge makes both of the pillars something greater then either would have been individually, but each pillar can still stand on it's own if it needs to. Neither person in a good relationship should "need" the other person to the point that they will collapse completely if they aren't there.

[Hanslanda]

Lets just say I would consider "clinginess" a huge reason to break it off with someone. A person acting like they can't live without me sets off all the "danger, danger, escape, escape, someone is trying to destroy you and everything you stand for for their own benefit" alarms.

* GlyphGryph shudders

A good relationship is about good dynamics, and struggling to escape the other party's attempts at suffocation are NOT good dynamics. At least not for me.

The way that I think about it a good relationship is like a bridge between two pillars. The bridge makes both of the pillars something greater then either would have been individually, but each pillar can still stand on it's own if it needs to. Neither person in a good relationship should "need" the other person to the point that they will collapse completely if they aren't there.

This. It's called independance and it's healthy. Codependence or interdependance is not healthy.

[FearfulJesuit]

I don't know. I spent two years in a horrible, horrible crush over my history teacher. That got bad enough that I slit my wrists over her. I came out the other end...well, clingy.

Am I really the only person here who has a mental image of a couple of people huddled in a shivering little ball under the covers with their wrists slit open, staring into the sight of each other's eyes welling up?

[Hanslanda]

I don't know. I spent two years in a horrible, horrible crush over my history teacher. That got bad enough that I slit my wrists over her. I came out the other end...well, clingy.

Am I really the only person here who has a mental image of a couple of people huddled in a shivering little ball under the covers with their wrists slit open, staring into the sight of each other's eyes welling up?

God I hope so. That is incredibly unhealthy and not a good relationship. Cutting is bad, bro. :/ Being in a relationship doesn't mean clinging to the other person like a life preserver. It means being in a partnership to try and better each other's life. There is cooperation, not dependance. Sympathy, not smothering. Time spent apart in a relationship is really good for the relationship, under a certain amount of time. Six months apart is a bit much, but spending a week away from your partner makes you miss them and want to be with them more.

[Nadaka]

I don't know. I spent two years in a horrible, horrible crush over my history teacher. That got bad enough that I slit my wrists over her. I came out the other end...well, clingy.

Am I really the only person here who has a mental image of a couple of people huddled in a shivering little ball under the covers with their wrists slit open, staring into the sight of each other's eyes welling up?

That doesn't sound healthy.

[miauw62]

I have a slight feeling that YOU AT FINAL BOSS is nearing its end...
The greatest minimalist RTD to ever see the light of day.

[Hanslanda]

I have a slight feeling that YOU AT FINAL BOSS is nearing its end...
The greatest minimalist RTD to ever see the light of day.

It is pretty much over. Everyone declared themselves an Ȩ̿ͧ͂̚͏̠̟̯ļ͈͈̔͊̃ͯ̊ͧ̓d͈̥͎̳͙ͨ͆ͪ̋̄͐͠r̟̤̐͆̇̉̄͑̚͜ḭ̹̆̿t̽ͣ͏̩̠͚̮͍͍̦͙̬c̖̳̺͇͚͍͈̃̕h̛̫̝̠͌̃́ ̛̪̈̾ͪ̎̓͂A̸̎̓҉͎͓̪̰̲͕͠b̑͆͟͏͖̳̞̳͙o̲͖̪͂ͪͮm̵͚̼̝̹̩̐͋ì̵̙̺̟̌͂ͯ̎̒̅͆ͧn̶͚̗̑͋̐ͪ͞a̴̝̦͖̖̪ͣ̓̎ͤ̑̈́͟͠tͦ̓̄̍҉̦̻͠i̡͔̫͍̪̼̜̊̊̉̍ͫ̉̈́͌ͨo͍͈̒̐̔̿̑̀̃̇̕͘ͅn̖̩̻̖̰̈́ͣͦͫ̑̀͘͡ͅ ahem, I mean an Eldritch Abomination, and it all went to pot from there.