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[Sirus]

Huh. I'd say "hope that your feelings are wrong, and that it will work out fine", but that's just me.

[kaijyuu]

If they've just decided to hide everything from me I'm not sure if I want to be there. They can find someone else they trust more. Someone who will tell them what they want to hear.

Do you think they're hiding out of lack of respect for you, or out of fear? Because if it's the latter, the worst thing you can do is not be there for them. (the former, you might be right)

[penguinofhonor]

Now we're getting to the complicated answers. The thing is, the person we're talking about here is a her. And she's a lesbian.

But she's scared of doing anything with women, and she's found a guy she can be with for a long time, so she's running with it. The thing is, she's admitted to me she knows she'll never be as happy with a man as she would with a woman. Also I'm pretty sure the guy likes men more than women, though he's probably more bisexual than gay.

They'll probably live their lives out just fine, not being miserable but never being as happy as they could be. That's just not something I can be happy about. I guess I can respect their decision, but I just can't put my support behind it.

As for why they're hiding it from me, I don't know for sure. She admitted to me during our discussion that she probably didn't tell me earlier because she knew I'd disagree with it, so my best guess is that it's more of that. Right now I'm pretty sure they only want to hear from people that will be super proud of them and happy for them. These people also happen to know significantly less about their sexualities than I do.

[kaijyuu]

Mmmm. Well you know more about these two than I do, but I will say that with bisexual folks, they're not necessarily going to end up with a partner of the gender they're most attracted to. So, only knowing these two from what you've said (that they're both mostly gay but are in a heterosexual relationship together), I wouldn't presuppose that they're going to end up unhappy due to their sexuality.

And again, I think it's very important to know why they don't want to be told what they don't want to hear. If it's out of fear of the consequences of being wrong, then they definitely need someone there to pick them up after the crash. If it's because they think they just "know better" than everyone else, then they're jerks that need to land on their butt.

[JoshuaFH]

I suppose when I say 'normal', I should take a second to explain what I mean. I don't mean having a normal personality, but rather having had in their possessions like groups of friends and lifetime experiences that defines an ordinary person. You're very forgiving Kaijyuu, it's too bad that the rat race that culture and society accepts, is not. I feel like I'm far behind everyone, and in that way it's worse than being flawed, it's being outright defective.

Dude, you're not the only one with a messed up life. I'm 23, never been on a date (even though I talk big on the forums here ), only recently gained the motivation to move out, have almost 0 real life friends, and completed a 2 year college degree in 5 years.

You are not alone. You are not forsaken.

I wanted to say something to this, but the message keeps getting lost in my head. Just remembering it, and the moment I go to write it down it goes away again.

I'll just let the matter settle in my head for now, and I'll be heading to bed now, though I'm sure the sad thread will come to know my tireless, meaningless moping another day, another night.

[kaijyuu]

Well, when you get a good grasp on what you way to say, be sure to say it I'm interested in how you feel.

[Wrex]

It's not meaningless, trust me.

[JoshuaFH]

Well, when you get a good grasp on what you way to say, be sure to say it I'm interested in how you feel.

There was a longer logical tangent I was trying to place into words, but I suppose the gist of it would be how it feels like the condolences of even the most well-meaning people probably can't help me.

I try to approach my feelings in a very impartial manner, analyzing it so I can gain a mastery over it, though it would seem that doing so only leads me to progressively more dismal and hopeless conclusions. I wish I could be a more carefree person, even though I kinda resent carefree people.

[kaijyuu]

Well, I (and others) can certainly give more than just condolences. Sympathy is great, but if it's advice or even a philosophical discussion you need, then I an others are willing to oblige.

So if you want an outside opinion that's almost guaranteed to be more impartial than your own, just open up and ask. There will be no sugarcoating if you don't want sugarcoating, either.

[Hanslanda]

I can be pretty brutally honest over the Internet, as Kai said, if that's what you want.

[Yoink]

I realized... a lot of my self-esteem issues stem from the fact that I've never had formal education starting from the end of first grade up until I've been able to build up funds to enter college. I feel as if I do not know anything, when in reality, I know I've been able to adapt and hide my lack of knowledge from people.

But even knowing it, I still can't get over the fact that I know very little, and tend to beat myself up mentally for it.

It hurts. I need to stop hurting myself.

Dude, you obviously started off in a difficult situation, where you were unable to attend school for many years, then managed to build yourself up to the point where you could go to college. That seems like a feather in your cap from where I'm sitting, not something to be ashamed of.

[RedKing]

Two dead in a year?
Damn México is really fucked up man, my whole city has been witness of 340 or more deaths, all in just nine months, this is a small city btw...
Today i discovered that being an actor with pectus excavatum is just terrible, i just couldn't keep up to the rest of the group during physical condition, couldn't breathe. the pain in my bones is also really awful.

oh hey, pectus fist-bump *bump*
Yeah, it sucks.


Well, I'm at work this morning after spending about 7 hours yesterday at my friend's house. I've never seen a person so shellshocked. The worst part is still not knowing what happened. They've ruled out a lot of the immediate culprits like heart attack, stroke, aneurysm. Gonna be a couple of weeks till they get the toxicology back. Which broadly leaves three likely results:

1. Medication interaction and/or rare medication side effect.
2. Medication + alcohol. She had purchased a few beers that evening. Not sure if she drank them or not, along with taking potent anti-migraine stuff...
3. Deliberate overdose. She had a history of depression, especially over infertility issues. She had been very upbeat lately (which...can also be a warning sign that they've made that final decision to make an attempt), but there are circumstantial signs that could be taken either way. She had put all her monthly payments on everything that day (but it was also payday). And it just happened to be on a night that she would have known he'd be out until late. There was also a bath drawn, but she hadn't gotten into it. Maybe she started to take one and didn't feel well and went o lay down....or maybe she planned to go out Whitney Houston-style.

We're all trying super hard to avoid discussing the "S" word within earshot of him, but I know it's going through his mind too. Especially if turns out to be #2, we may NEVER know if it was accidental or deliberate. 

Still hasn't entirely sunk in that this shit is for real. 

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Knowing what you've told us and not knowing the victim personally, if I had to speculate I wouldn't think suicide. The prevalence of drinking in American culture means that a lot of people end up accidentally mixing alcohol and medication in a fatal way, sometimes by forgetfulness and sometimes by not taking the warnings seriously or thinking that they can risk it.

Since the 90's accidental deaths by medication have increased over 200%. It's more common than people think.

[Descan]

All I can think about when I see pectus exvavatum is "that would make an awesome candy bowl [during cuddles]" [especially if the guy is cute]

... Just sayin'.

[Kedly]

Lol nice xD