Huh, can most antisocial people cite an event or series of events that led to them being so? I've just sort of always been shy.
I can certainly point pretty easily to the timeline of events that have led to me being fairly intensely uninterested in general socialization. Most of my life's been spent in an area that's almost entirely openly hostile to people who aren't bigots. You don't seek other people out as much when doing so has a 98+% chance of leading to conflict. Especially when the conflict wouldn't be constructive in any sense and has a not inconsiderable chance of causing assault. Too much stress and strife for absolutely zero reward and much punishment. Avoidance becomes the norm, hm.
I actually do alright with most things that aren't "small talk" but I'm a little too comfortable being quiet to really keep most sorts of social relationships going. Doesn't help that pretty much all of the normal cultural interests I'm, well, not interested in. Sports, sex, TV, gossip, various intoxicants, so on, so forth... just doesn't do anything for me. I talk more when there's something to talk about, but with most of the population, well... there just isn't anything I'm interested in talking about.
Not hateful about it in the least, though! No doubt to a large degree because I've been mostly incapable of feeling anger for like the past decade and change. That's what happens when losing your temper could end with broken legs or being homeless, at least in my case. Anger is a privilege I couldn't afford. Meditation and philosophy's mostly done the rest of the work of getting rid of it. Generally, my life seems to be the better for it, though it does mean I give out odd signals at times, heh.
Mostly you just learn to love the quiet. It's not actually that bad, but it's occasionally difficult to communicate with others as to exactly what they're dealing with when we're interacting beyond the facile. Sometimes hard to get across that their means of pleasure -- which is very much culturally normative -- simply doesn't rustle m'jimmies. S'like... no, I'm not really sad, or angry with you, or dislike you, or anything, really. I'm just happy as-is, y'know? It's lead to a few interesting conversations, though.
Or something. Disjointed, as it's midnight, and etc., and so forth, and so on. I'm a humanist, really, I just have a fairly thorough dislike of my cultural norms. And a good decade and a half of off and on meditative practice left me somewhat hypersensitive to most forms of sensory input. Most television and radio is hell to me. Literal torture after a while.
I don't get why people wish that they were asexual. I just wish I were getting laid.
I think it's mostly the thought of having an actual off switch, maybe. I wouldn't mind hormones as much if they had a overt toggle, or if dealing with them without involving other humans were a bit more culturally accepted. Same for sleep, eating, etc., so forth, so on. It's nice, but it'd be
nicer if there was an actual choice involved there, and not just physiological pressure.
Being
able to remain high functioning without romantic interaction or a facsimile thereof is probably high on the list, too. As I ken it, the thought is that while being in a relationship can be nice, and etc., and so forth, having the constant urge to be in one and experiencing a drastically lower quality of life when
not would be... well, pleasant. More pleasant, anyway.
The latter bit doesn't really hit me, I guess. I occasionally yearn for warmth and being able to trust someone, but it's not a very consuming thing, or really has much impact in my life. When I feel like that I just make my bed extra comfortable and curl up under the blankets and take a nap. Better than nine times out of ten, the affliction's gone when I wake up. S'nice, in a way.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9765007 times)