Hans, I'm glad you're doing well with the courts and that you're hanging out with friends. I know it might seem depressing to have a conversation about things that you're unsure of, but at least you had someone to go hang out with and share some of your emotions. She sounds like a pretty good friend too if she was worried about you being depressed when you're down in the dumps. I'm not trivializing any of your problems because they're obviously important to you, but while you may have problems (and significant ones) it helps to think of what you have to help you through it.
As for your future: my mother makes ~300-400k a year from a masters degree in some form of English literary theory. It's not all that likely you'll make that without working 16 hour days like she does, but writing is a very important skill that's used in many more places than you'd think. Technical writing and the such for companies and the government provides a good income and, while it may not be your dream job, would have you able to work 9-5 and then live a life. Fiction writing is a bit more limited, but it's a lot easier to do as a hobby if you get a job doing something else
As for your female friend, I don't think you have as much to worry about as you think. People are generally poor at expressing their feelings. I recently was terrified a lady-friend was flirting with me. While I am interested, she's just a pillar in the structure of my life right now that I can't have pulled out by a failed relationship. Anyway, it turns out she was just bringing up the topic of sex, casual relationships and all that so she could tell me she's having sex with an old high-school friend. Hopefully you're better at reading people than me, but it's still a possibility that you're mistaken.
She is a super good friend, and that's exactly why I worry about sexual things. It makes me extremely nervous, which will lead me into what Kaijyuu said in a moment. I'll explain down there.
For the future, it just worries me is all. I've got some pretty severe procrastination issues. :/ My main worry is that I'll just never get around to actually doing what I want to, and then the possibilities will be gone.
And for the most part, it seems she just needs to talk to someone about sexual things. Oddly enough, I keep forgetting I'm older than her, and while she's slept with a few guys, she's slept with WAAY more girls than me, but only had a couple relationships. She asks me for advice for that kind of thing a lot. Mostly it's that kind of thing. Sometimes though, she's got that... Funny look in her eye, which I somewhat hope is her just being humorous. But sometimes I'm not so sure it's just that. Idk. Eh, it's not truly a big deal until she acts on it, because then I'll have to turn down
yet another beautiful woman I want to sleep with, because I like having them as friends instead. :/
I was kinda like that for the longest time. For me, it had a lot to do with fear rather than not being interested in people. I've always liked people. I've always been afraid they didn't like me. Getting close to someone (figuratively and literally) just gave them a chance to hurt me, to reject me. Still working on getting past that.
So my question is, are you uninterested in people? If so, then yeah you could be asexual (or whatever the romantic equivalent is). But if you're flinching away out of fear of something... I don't think the problem is your lack of interest.
Hmm. This is complicated for me. See, I like certain people. I certainly enjoy sex while in a loving, romantic relationship. I definitively do not enjoy sex for its own sake outside relationships. People I am not friends with, or otherwise close to, I generally do not like much without some pretty significant contact over time. I'm apparently rather charismatic to most people, as even people I don't like seem to like me well enough. I'm not too concerned with people not liking me so much as them causing me problems. I don't react well to people causing me problems. :/
Relationships in the past have left me with some relatively minor trust issues that I can overcome pretty easily, when I want to, and some far more severe emotional issues, where I react far more strongly than I should to certain things.
So, I guess I could say, I'm only interested in those who I'm already very close to. A lot of the flinching away is from the emotional issues, but a good portion of it has been there since always. I'm a shy person, but I've buried it pretty well with that 'Fake it til ya make it' confidence. Because fuck what people think.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9462975 times)