Okay. This is wierd.
So, there's this guy at work that graduated Drug Court. He's pretty much exactly like me, but ten years older, has a way worse attitude, and he's a stereotypical male. You know the type, womanizes, smokes/drinks/etc, always makes crude/rude jokes, so on and so forth. The other day, he was all upset about not having any friends really.
This leads me to my sad. Right now, in meatspace (and I'm working on the chat thing, that's a seperate issue currently.) I have basically three friends, and then one semi-friend. One friend is my lesbian friend, another is my oldest friend that I've had for YEARS but he can be a bit of douche quite often, the third is my bartender friend, who was my bartender (not serving me, working with me) for a year or two, and is an awesome lady. The semi-friend is a girl that kinda likes me, but she's way too young, so we're just friends instead.
Now. I've got this wierd issue. I want to keep my friends. My bartender friend isn't going away, she's stable. Same for my oldest friend. But I only hang out with/talk to them sporadically. My lesbian friend, I see/talk to pretty much every day, and we're very close, not always in just the friend way. This disconcerts me, because I've lost friends to sex before and I don't want that to happen again. I'm also a human, with human urges, so there's that. My conundrum is that I want to be closer to her, but I feel like she's already too close, and now I'm worried she's drifting away, and dear christ why is this shit always so complicated?
Urgh. She's too close but too far, and I like her but I don't like her, and I want to have friends when I'm older, but I don't want to have a bunch of shitty friends, and I don't want to be like the guy I work with but I like my lifestyle choices that may lead me to be like him, and I'm so confused.
So damn confused.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9705714 times)