I have a feeling it was hit by static or a power surge, which means even if I fix it, this could happen again. And I haven't backed up any files since I got this computer. I'm really really hoping that the harddrive itself isn't fried, but if it is, I just might have to die with it. I'm going to try to plug it into my old desktop today (which itself was on its last legs when I replaced it) and try for a miracle so I can back up mah junk.
The good news is, it did finish turning on by the time I got home, and successfully loaded to desktop. The bad news is, it's not software corruption, I don't think. It gave me an error message that hard disk problems were detected, and that I should simultaneously backup my files and stop using the computer immediately.
Challenge accepted. All non-essential programs are killed, backup is in progress, with all the nail-biting terror of a covered wagon rounding a crumbling mountain pass.
I'm not sure what it speaks to that the first thing I thought was "well it's not like there's anything on here that's actually irreplaceable anyway". Which is preposterous. But I am making sure to back up to my external in stages, going with the most important stuff first. Most important-ish.
(I'm online with my work laptop of course. Which just might be my home laptop for the next couple days.)