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[Hanslanda]

I don't know either, but it's probably helpful to talk As long as you're comfortable talking.

I know far too many people (myself included) who have self confidence issues and know it. It's a vicious cycle because once you realize that, you stop yourself from trying because "I'll get scared and screw up," further complicating things and making more likely you screw up or not even try in the first place. Case and point, I'm afraid I offended you and it's almost kept me from posting this out of fear of digging myself deeper.

Fear and shame about self confidence needs to be eliminated before one can actually gain some.



Anyway, do you think holding back about your history is bad? I don't think you do. Therefore, it's not bad, despite what others might say or think. Don't be ashamed.

Whoa... That's me.
You know me so well and you had no idea you knew me so well. :/ What a ninja.

[Gunner-Chan]

Today for me is really just being one of those days that seems alright and like everything is okay just for the night and circumstance making me either realize or feel that absolutely nothing right now is actually good or even okay.

Bleh. Sometimes I wish I'd get drunk in the way people typically do so I can drink this bullshit away. But nope.

Add to this certain memory's poked over and over by a certain topic being active again and you get one hell of a terrible night. I'm just gonna fuck right off the forums till I drop from sleep deprivation so I don't do or say anything stupid.

[Trapezohedron]

I don't know either, but it's probably helpful to talk As long as you're comfortable talking.

I know far too many people (myself included) who have self confidence issues and know it. It's a vicious cycle because once you realize that, you stop yourself from trying because "I'll get scared and screw up," further complicating things and making more likely you screw up or not even try in the first place. Case and point, I'm afraid I offended you and it's almost kept me from posting this out of fear of digging myself deeper.

Fear and shame about self confidence needs to be eliminated before one can actually gain some.



Anyway, do you think holding back about your history is bad? I don't think you do. Therefore, it's not bad, despite what others might say or think. Don't be ashamed.

No offense taken; this is just me discussing my problems and you answering it anyway.

There are certain parts of history better left unsaid, and my history is that. I would tell people what it was, as I have no problems with it whatsoever. But it does jeopardize my family, and I'm not willing to reveal my personal information to gossipers who might spread the message from one side of the Philippines to the other side of New York.

I, and my family, have been insulted by my chinese relatives when we were barely scratching ourselves a home, and yes, it didn't feel quite good. Not at all. That is why I'm keen on keeping my family history secret. In the meantime, this decision has been tearing me apart, as this has made me into someone who basically has no history, and therefore nothing to share.

And speaking of confidence, yeah, it is a Catch-22, which requires me to have enough confidence to gain confidence. I just hope I get a momentary boost of confidence to lift me up from this metaphorical pit of the abyss.

[MaximumZero]

My head pain.. I really don't know why this always happen with me. It was a rainy day and jus coz of my head pain I have to sit back home and bear dis pain.. irritating and intolerable. Even medicines were not working. God please help wot should I do now?

I'm no god, but if you have a migraine (which I get frequently), get some caffeine in you. Take some aspirin and ibuprofen. Sleep it off. (Seriously, do all three.) Take a lukewarm shower in low light. Get the hell off the internet and minimize sensory input.

[Reudh]

Ah, migraines. My old foe.
If you're a caffeine addict coffee helps, but otherwise stay as far away from it as you can.

Otherwise, a cold wrap on the back of your neck in a darkened room helps. Aspirin is not advised due to it causing mild nausea especially if you have nausea already; paracetamol, while weaker, does not give you the nauseated effected.

[MaximumZero]

Note: I am a caffeine addict. Very, very much so.

[scriver]

I think the middleaged hippie that lives a couple of houses from here has cut off his hair.

[penguinofhonor]

Hairesy!

[scriver]

He was still wearing his old once-extremely-gratingly-colourful-but-now-greyishly-faded knitted sweater, though. Which was basically the only way I could recognise him.

[SalmonGod]

So I finally began entertaining the idea lastnight that I'm depressed, not just feeling down.  The really should get it taken care of by a professional sort of depressed.  Doing this seems to have amplified the situation.

I've been refusing the thought for months, because it's so important for me to carry on stoically every day.  I just can't continue denying that it's the typical thing I hear when people say they're depressed -- I don't really enjoy anything anymore.  I continue to recognize when I should be enjoying something.  I act like I am to convince myself and others that I am.  I keep doing things that I know I should enjoy.  I keep going out of my way to participate in social gatherings with people that I know I like.

But everything leaves me feeling exhasperated and drained.  I don't really want to do anything with anyone, and I think this is because I rarely get any substantial time to myself.  I have all kinds of things that I really want to do, but I settle for time-wasters instead because I don't have time for the things I really want.  Trying to do anything responsible, even if it's not anything that bad, wears me out horribly in no time.  I'm instantly braindead at work every day.  I have to pull up stuff to read online, or I'll just pass out, no matter how much sleep I get.

There are even really positive changes happening in my marriage right now that I should be ecstatic about (besides her relapse into smoking that I mentioned in the rage thread...), but I just don't feel like I have the energy keep up.

Lastnight I got home and my wife + a whole bunch of friends were online playing a game together.  I hopped in and got disgusted with it after a couple of rounds.  Went and flopped onto the bed and just laid there thinking that if I didn't have people depending on me to hold myself together, that laying around and staring off into space is probably all I would do at this point... except that isn't true, because if I didn't have responsibilities taking up 85-91% of my time (calculated based on how many hours of actual free time I get on an average day) that I would be able to pursue goals that actually interest me, instead of coasting through a temporary mere existence.

[kaijyuu]

Shit shit shit. Friend went through several nasty breakups in the past few years and just told us he blames himself for all of it. My advice and sympathy sucks too D:


@salmon:
If you are depressed, don't hesitate to get help. You can't do everything, you know You remind me way too much of my father sometimes, who shoulders everyone else's problems and pretends he's some sort of stoic who can handle it all.

[SalmonGod]

@salmon:
If you are depressed, don't hesitate to get help. You can't do everything, you know You remind me way too much of my father sometimes, who shoulders everyone else's problems and pretends he's some sort of stoic who can handle it all.

I realize that I am really bad at asking for help. 

Part of this is because I think that if I can overcome a problem on my own now that it will never be a problem for me again in the future.  Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't... like when I kept my parents in the dark for so many years about how I was treated in school (by both teachers and other students).  I've grown up fairly thick-skinned, an excellent mediator of conflict, and capable of handling myself with dignity in just about any situation, which is exactly how I wanted to develop... but I'm still rooting out other negative effects on my personality caused by suffering through that situation way longer than I should have (negative outlooks/tendency to brood in private/escapism/etc).

Part of this is because I hate burdening others, especially if I believe I'm capable of handling something on my own.

Part of it, and the most important one at this point, is I don't know anybody who is in any position to help (my wife responded to my mood lastnight by buying me a bunch of games from the Steam sale that we can't really afford and will take me years to get around to playing), and I don't have the time/money/still have major reservations about seeking out professional help.  I'm not even convinced that I'm medically depressed.  It just feels like my disappointment and frustration with how much of a rigid trap adult life is has overflowed and seeped into the way I experience everything -- to the point that what I'm experiencing is something deeper than just grief or sadness, but it still only halfway matches the stories I hear from people who are/have been clinically depressed.

[kaijyuu]

Well only a professional can say if you're really depressed like that, but it does sound to me like you need a shoulder to lean on. Anyone you can talk to and just bare all? Do that if possible. Always helps me.

[Descan]

* Descan enjoys the fapping.

[kaijyuu]

Salmon, you always have greatorder.

you all have greatorder!

warm fuzzies