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[Descan]

No, I wouldn't say that's an unexpected desire, or unwarranted. (Without knowing what the problems WERE of course. I mean, if you killed her dog or something, yeah, I'd be on her side. )

But you gotta realize that humans are irrational, selfish bastards. She doesn't care about you, doesn't care about giving you closure. Sounds like you'll have to work on it yourself, without being able to talk things out and get closure. Which, between you, me, and the server? It's kind of over-rated. Talking things out with people, you build it up in your mind as this thing that'll solve everything. They'll finally see things from your point of view, You'll finally be able to explain yourself, that kind of thing. And in reality, you'll try, they won't listen, and you'll feel shittier at the end than if you had tried to work it out on your own.

[Pnx]

Honestly, no one is ever entitled to second (Or even first) chances. I don't really see why if it's that bad you've been wasting your time with it.

To be frank, I've basically been wasting my time because I'm kinda an obsessive person and it's an issue that's been making me feel guilty, stupid, and causing trouble in a whole bunch of other ways...

No, I wouldn't say that's an unexpected desire, or unwarranted. (Without knowing what the problems WERE of course. I mean, if you killed her dog or something, yeah, I'd be on her side. )

But you gotta realize that humans are irrational, selfish bastards. She doesn't care about you, doesn't care about giving you closure. Sounds like you'll have to work on it yourself, without being able to talk things out and get closure. Which, between you, me, and the server? It's kind of over-rated. Talking things out with people, you build it up in your mind as this thing that'll solve everything. They'll finally see things from your point of view, You'll finally be able to explain yourself, that kind of thing. And in reality, you'll try, they won't listen, and you'll feel shittier at the end than if you had tried to work it out on your own.

Yeah, unfortunately this is actually pretty much what I've come to expect. In the past I've found these particular people to be pretty reasonable, but I think it is just far too much easier to never really deal with me ever again than risk having to put up with more crap from me. And to sorta answer the question it looks like you wanted to ask I didn't kill her dog or something, I didn't physically harm anyone or anything, what I did do is put people through a whole ton of stupid emotional crap and at times was really quite emotionally and verbally abusive. It's the last part that I think is the problem more than anything, after all the gigantic metric shit tons of abuse in all forms I've had to put up with, I just don't think I'll ever really forgive myself for taking a slice of that and dealing it out to other people.

There's also... a really complicated bunch of other issues at work here, I'm not sure what I feel about the subject half the time.

...

This is really stupid.

[SalmonGod]

I have no idea what your situation is, Pnx, but I think it is only decent for people to offer a chance at closure.  I had best friend of three years, at a time when I had very few friends, who just suddenly refused to talk to me.  I had no idea what to think about the whole thing and it drove me absolutely insane.  Years later after becoming much more socially competent, I was able to look back and understand what had happened (nothing inappropriate or cruel), but even with that retrospect, I still think it was kind of cruel for her to just disappear without explanation.

However, if you were somehow cruel to someone, I think you should understand if they want to keep their distance.  Same if they have entertained your desire for closure before, and you just weren't satisfied with it.  If neither of these things apply and they're just being stubborn... well... realize that it's not likely to change.

There are vast numbers of really awesome people in the world.  There's rarely a good reason to get so hung up.  After the thing with my aforementioned friend, I was deeply depressed for a couple years.  Going out and getting socially involved with more people was the main factor in my finally moving on.  The other major one was devoting a lot of effort to helping someone else I cared about who desperately needed me (who, coincidentally, is the person who got me out socializing more).  Since then, I have found myself not getting too deeply attached to people.  It doesn't effect me so much when friends come and go.  Not sure if that's a good or bad thing.  I see myself as just being more accepting that everyone is living their own lives.  People change.  Situations change.  A crossing of paths can only linger for so long.

[Hanslanda]

This is really stupid.

No it isn't. It is your life. It is a very serious, very important issue that you need to work out. If you try and brush things under the rug, you'll end up with an exponentially larger amount of problems.
A guy I met in rehab explained it like this:
Emotional problems are like little piles of dog crap. When you're young, you have like one or two. I was abused, or no one loved me. But most people, instead of just cleaning up the crap, (by dealing with their issues and moving on) cover up their issues. Covering up your issues basically means you hide them beneath another pile of dog crap, like using drugs, allowing yourself to be emotionally abusive, etc. Now you've got four or five piles of dog crap. Eventually you end up with a massive mountain of crap no living human should have to deal with, but if you don't deal with it, you're going to be buried in crap.
tl;dr Don't try to put things off or hide the real issue. Dealing with it is much healthier, if not less painful.

[Bauglir]

You might not exactly be owed a chance. But, at the same time, it was not fair of her to just drop the whole thing and hope it would go away - she should have called back and let your therapist know, if she really did know she didn't want to talk to you. And it certainly would be better of her to give you the chance to talk that you're trying to find - there's no malice in what you're after, and you're legitimately trying to improve your life and you hope it would improve hers. It's not as if you're trying to do something you shouldn't do, and you shouldn't feel any guilt for trying to resolve things.

If she denies you the opportunity to talk to her, it might help to take that as a sort of closure of its own. It might not be the way you wanted, but you can at least say it's done now. If that's ever going to change, you can leave the responsibility to her - you've done what you can. Of the two of you, you're the one making an effort to repair some damage. So if that's not going to happen, it's on her. So you can move on, knowing that what you've done in the last couple of weeks is the best you could in a difficult situation, even if you feel guilt for creating that situation in the first place (I don't know about that, so I can't say whether or not you should, but the point is that even if it's entirely your fault, you're learning and growing beyond the person who made that mistake, by seeking to make amends).

You've done the right thing in trying to resolve it, I think. It's possible that she wasn't doing the wrong thing by saying no - but that doesn't matter. Maybe she even did the right thing, too. It still doesn't matter. She's responsible for her own choices, just as you are for yours, and I think you made a good one. And, either way, letting the whole thing dangle was wrong of her, if she was that certain about what she really wanted.

EDIT: Also I forgot the reason I was posting here in the first place. The temperature is too damn high.

[quinnr]

I just realized that I miss my friend from the one semester of school I had here before I moved (I come back in the Summer to visit my Dad, but he lives on the opposite side of town.) and would like to see him. (Which has been offered, I'm going over there to visit my grandma at least once anyways.)

But I don't really have a reliable way to contact him. He doesn't have a cell phone, parents won't let him have a Facebook, I don't know his home phone, and the last couple emails I shot him a while ago never got responses. Hrgh. Normally I'd get someone else to say hi via Facebook, but with school break, that's not really an option. Hmm, my break does end later than his, though, so maybe it'll work out then. Oh well.

[Vertigon]

Those early morning hours with no one to talk to, after my friends across the pond have started their days, and everyone over here is asleep or insane like me. Being awake for the sunrise is its own reward; being the only person awake for the sunrise is just not as fun.

edit for feeling better: took a walk to the entrance of the neighborhood, to walk the sun rise; I didn't want to waste the only cool part of the day :p

Didn't see a single person, it was incredibly peaceful. I would love to live in a neighborhood like this.

[Trapezohedron]

Pre-midterms is next week.

Fuck-in-a-stick.

[ChairmanPoo]

So we were all summoned to learn about how to start a PhD thesis while doing the residency... and got a generic tlk that gave no useful info and basically ammounted to "sit around your department andsee what pops up". I thought that a two hours long rant would have more useful info

[Johuotar]

My head feels as if 50 war elephants had just trampled over it and my throat feels like ghobi desert.

[Loud Whispers]

My head feels as if 50 war elephants had just trampled over it and my throat feels like ghobi desert.

You... Sound like you need water. Lots of it

[Truean]

.

[Hanslanda]

Had scuffle with stupid building manager.

My office rent is paid a month in advance, because its the only surefire way to make sure you're never late, plus less hassle.

Stupid building manager is pissed off at me, because "It doesn't look like you gave me your rent." I don't deal with the stupid manager. I deal directly with the building owner because manager's an incompetent shithead. A few examples come to mind, like how he tried to give me shit about sign permits when I ripped the top of the sign off to put a new one with my sign on it. I don't usually like to whip this out, but I'm a fucking attorney. I got the permits and I don't have to show them to some stupid building manager who thinks he can stop me when I'm working outside in 90 + degree heat.

I paid the landlord two months rent last month and got a receipt for it precisely so I wouldn't have to put up with this bullshit.  It isn't my fault you two don't communicate. If he ever threatens to have me evicted or otherwise sue me again, I'll give him a demonstrative lesson in what being sued means. It's hard enough starting a new business from nothing without some jerk saying I'm a deadbeat. Some of my clients include the other tenants in the office building and having him bellow at the top of his lungs that I haven't paid my rent does not help. Not only is that false, but I've actually paid up rent in advance, so its even worse.

God damn it man, I offered you a brownie. How the hell are you mad after that.

Truean, you are awesome.

[Bauglir]

God damn it man, I offered you a brownie. How the hell are you mad after that.

That is a damn fine question.

Sounds like he's looking for problems (there is a good chance that solving problems is "his job", which means he has an incentive to look for them; also, attachment to procedure is a thing, so if he's used to rent going through him he just sort of assumes that that is how things are done).

[ChairmanPoo]

Also, it's possible that he prefers rent to go through him so that he can put a hand in