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[ToonyMan]

I'm so glad I don't have to moderate my threads at all.  It's like I'm naturally gifted with long flowing blonde hair.

[MaximumZero]

Except that you've posted in the photo share thread and we all know that you're like...the exact opposite of that.

Sad: Why the fuck am I drinking again? What is wrong with me?

[ToonyMan]

I can wish I look like Raiden anytime I want to.  :[

[JoshuaFH]

I'm kind of obligated to post that I went to a funeral today, for the death of my great aunt. I mean, we didn't know eachother very well, so I wasn't especially attached, but it was still very saddening.

[Valid_Dark]

So, I figured I'd iron out the details for the next game / project I wanted to work on,  I went and dug through my stack of papers for the design document I came up with a few months ago, which was what I remembered as being a good / original idea for a game.  I found it, but it's more of an assortment of scribbles which I spent the last hour or so deciphering.  I'm not so sure it'll be too great of a game now or if I should even attempt to make it.  Basically it's a multi-player card game heavily influenced by Dwarf Fortress.
It's definitively an ..... interesting Idea, It just needs some ironing out, and by that I mean a LOT of ironing out,  I have a basic Idea of how the game would work,  but I'm trying to decide if I want to invest the time in developing it into a game.

The reason this is in the sad thread, is because my memory of this design document was better than what it really is, and I was set on making it, but now that I read my paper on it I don't know if I want to anymore.

[Truean]

Truean: you were practically a saint. You don't need to apologize for anything.

... ... [hugs] Thank you. 

I get worried about stuff like that sometimes. I argue a lot and I have some flaws like being prideful/wrathful that I'm really trying to work on.

Edit:  I can't blame him really, though I'm sad about it. He's unfortunately right....

He is right, and honestly, don't worry about it Truean, thankfully those are a minority here on the forum.

I'm pretty sure most people love you here, I know I do, especially your valuable inputs from actual experience and professional knowledge.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

I will miss having a catch all place to discuss things openly. I'm not sure how to replace the good parts of that thread. I really liked the idea of sitting around debating things with people who, most of the time, didn't argue like the rest of the internet. Frankly, I learned a lot in that thread. If I had time, I'd go through and salvage some of my better arguments, especially the legal ones about Free Speech and I am definitely going back for the one about the castle law in defending of homicide defendants. I hope I never have to use that one at work. Regardless, I think it was pretty good for something I whipped up practically on the fly about firearms and the law regarding self defense (which is as misapplied as it is misunderstood).

Gonna have to dig for that legal research, cause I am not doing it again if I can avoid it.

[MaximumZero]

* MaximumZero ambush-hugs Truean.

Aw, you know we all love you.

[Truean]

* MaximumZero ambush-hugs Truean.

Aw, you know we all love you.

[hugs] Thank you.

[MaximumZero]

Anytime. I still think that one day, we'll rule the world becoming imported oil magnates. And then you shall have ALL THE PRETTY DRESSES!

[Descan]

Can... Can I have a pretty dress? o_o

[MaximumZero]

I'm almost never one to say no.

[Bauglir]

Everyone can have pretty dresses. Maybe it will be mandatory? No. That would be silly. Tempting, though.

[MaximumZero]

I would make all the pretty dresses look awful. ;_;

[Pnx]

I think I'm going to recreate the thread sometime tomorrow. I'll need to think about what I'm going to put in the rules though, I'm not sure just copy pasting what Vector said will do.

[ToonyMan]

Yeah, I think I need to mention I'm a bit stressed with life right now but feel that actually saying or discussing it is useless/pointless/dameda.

Like failure.  Failure to do something, failure to do anything.  All of these tasks in my head, piling up and up.  Seek a way out.

College is still fine, ordinary, normal.  Normal to me now.  Classes are all fine.  Doing well in unexpected courses, doing poorly in the ones that matter.  Becoming accustomed to myself.  Knowing I'm not that great.  Knowing that I'm not an awful person either.  Positive traits, negative traits.  Doing what's expected of me whether it matters or not.

Does this count?  Am I suppose to do this?  Are my hobbies and interests tainted, wrong?  Everybody wants to hide, well I want to hide.  Hide in the closet, the bed, the screen.  Away away away.  Talking to people is nice sometimes, unexpectedly nice but doesn't feel too right.  None of my interests mesh.  Nothing meshes truly.  Suppressed feelings, suppressed mind and body.  Restraining oneself, away away away.  Contemplating and crying.

Social connections, impetus to move on.  Serious faltering.  Trepidation.  I sleep hard.  I don't want to get up.  Why is time passing.  Why can't I go at my own pace.  I am insignificant.

Well I think I'm done with my A+ English writing style.  I pretty much write like this and my professor loves it.  It's pathetically easy but true.

Although, to be honest, I do feel most of these feelings obviously.  I just have a hard time being serious with myself.  It's really hard.  I don't feel right.  I can understand why people lose everything and lock themselves away since it's the best way to cut ties and connections.  I know that I'm weak but I at least want to show something I guess.  Even if I don't know why still.  Isn't that interesting?!  Oh if only I was beyond everything.  You have to know what I mean.  BEYOND  BEYOOOOND

Strong mind and body.  You can't hurt me.  Me isn't even me.  Aaaah~  Sharing my true feelings sounds nice.  Nice and true and not fake fake fake.  Contempt and apprehension.

My Dad called me a few days ago and I also got a letter from him the day after.  He sounded a lot healthier and 'in his mind'.  We only had 10 minutes to talk but he told me to call my sister right after.  Which I did after freaking out for a little bit.  Sigh.  She didn't answer but I ended up talking to her for about 30 minutes.  When I write a response to my Dad's letter I'm going to mention that.  Although I may talk to him again before then.

Talking with people is so hard.  The people I end up living with don't really have amazing personalities either.  It's so limiting.  Going in public is ridiculous for me too.  A made a few new friends because we have similar interests at least.  But it's still not really true.  One person in specific is a pretty cool guy I really like.  Ah, well.

Bleh I need to go to sleep because of this STUFF I just am dying to do.