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[Vector]

I've been having a random crying spell pretty much every night this week and wondering if I'm about to catch the flu when I realize that I'm going into this Friday's finals unprepared.  In other words, I'm stressed and anxious, and the part of my brain that I programmed to automatically figure out which emotion I'm feeling has decided to defect to the tropics.

I have to get up and learn another 37 pages of my set theory text book, and even then I won't have prepared at all for my logic final.

Things are going to be so different in 2012.  I'm never, ever letting a day go by when I don't do at least two hours of math again.  Don't care if I'm sick, bleeding everywhere, on an airplane, or anything else; if I'm conscious, it's getting done.  Two hours is the barest minimum I can do and keep myself acceptably sharp.  That's on a rest day.  On work days, I have to do more than that.  I hate thinking like a snail.  The snail is speeding up a little bit now, but it's still kinda on the slow side.

Too many courses, too many logistical problems, and too much time wasted on moronic shit because my feeble brain can't handle the logistical/planning load I've been handing it, or the massive amount of disorder in my life right now.  It's going to be good to be back in the dorms so that I can go back to the drawing board in terms of learning how to cook and plan good meals.  I need to re-learn how to eat.  I've seriously been living on mostly bread, eggs, milk, rice, yoghurt, and granola bars for the past year.

Hate this, but I think that if I manage to identify a small handful of three or four objectives to work on for the next while, I'll do okay.  For a while I needed a chaotic life to give myself the illusion of control, but now I'm really, truly desperate for a stable sort of schedule.

[KaelGotDwarves]

*hugs*

Sometimes, in particular when I compare and contrast my own life's choices to that of my father, I feel like I'm full of shit. Like here I am, still hippying about and living a fanciful life while his has been practically nothing but his family and work - so that has enabled my admitably wonderful life.

I refuse to feel like a failure, although I do feel like it...

[Sirus]

How many people in this thread have gone to see a psychiatrist?

I'm not being mean, I'm genuinely asking. Sobbing to yourself is not a sign of healthy mental status. Neither is self-loathing or the feeling that no-one wants to speak with you. To me, these sound like symptoms of depression, and may require medication and/or counseling to manage. I'm talking REAL medication, not drinking yourself into a stupor or getting high on various hallucinogens (not accusing anyone here of either of those things).

I was depressed all throughout high school, and was only diagnosed after I entered college. Now I wonder how much different my life could have been if I'd been getting treatment rather than moping about.

I say this with all the best intentions in the world: if you think you need it, get help.

[KaelGotDwarves]

Protip: You're reading the thread wrong if you think it's about sobbing to oneself.

Venting is a healthy way to loosen up steam.

I agree with your last point though.

[Gunner-Chan]

I actually see a therapist every other friday, and I'm on several prescriptions. I dunno about everyone else though.

[Bauglir]

At a guess, I'd say that there's a good chance everybody who has the means to see a psychologist and has such feelings of sufficient magnitude and frequency to justify it has done so. A lot of posts are also in response to specific and tangible sources of stress and unpleasantness that don't particularly need diagnosing, but which complaining about can provide some help in getting past. Similarly so for medication, with the added requirement of deciding that the benefits are worth the side effects (I know that there are a lot of people that may decide that a given medication causes more problems than it solves, or is a superficial fix and the side effects amount to unnecessary pain).

Signs of healthy mental status are difficult to declare, at least partially because the weight you might assign to sobbing to yourself (for instance) might be at extreme variance with that another person does. I know there are people who cry frequently, but do so because it seems the natural way to express emotion, and not because they are perpetually depressed and really need something to make them happy so they won't cry as often. Emotional signs are, of course, more reliable (if you can reliably recognize them, because of course nothing is ever easy), but again I'm unsure if it's particularly unusual to feel such things occasionally. I'm given to understand depression is more persistent and at a far, far deeper level than common feelings that could easily be described as self-loathing or isolation (because they are, but of lesser magnitude than in clinical depression).

At any rate, I don't mean to detract from the supportive intent of your post, but more to chime in with a response that seems likely from my perspective. And, of course, I also don't mean to cast doubt on the people who are definitely dealing with this problem, because that'd be kind of a dick move.

Wow that was rambly, sorry about that. Trying to be precise might have interfered with being concise. Hopefully I succeeded at the former, though.

[Sirus]

@ KaelGotDwarves: I was mostly referring to the person who, I quote, has "been having a random crying spell pretty much every night this week". I'm not assuming that this thread is full of potential suicides, but that much crying could indicate deeper problems. I just hate seeing other people go through that stuff.

Great, now I'm sad too

[alway]

Vector, keep in mind a saying from around here: "C's get degrees!"

There comes a point at which further studying becomes counterproductive, as the stress involved prevents you from achieving your real goal of learning the material taught in the class. I don't know about you in particular, but at least for me, stressing too much over assignments and exams results in learning less, as it really is a sub-optimal condition in which to attempt to learn. Just be sure to occasionally check whether it's really worth stressing over things. After all, you can catch up on any material you feel like you missed in a less stressful environment after the end of the semester.

[KaelGotDwarves]

@ KaelGotDwarves: I was mostly referring to the person who, I quote, has "been having a random crying spell pretty much every night this week". I'm not assuming that this thread is full of potential suicides, but that much crying could indicate deeper problems. I just hate seeing other people go through that stuff.

Great, now I'm sad too

ONE OF US! ONE OF US! 

On a serious note, this thread is a safe haven for people to vent their current sorrows in an internet-judgement-free zone. Naturally I don't assume anything about anyone's crying habits, but hell, crying is a good vent. And Vector knows that she's awesome and she should never stop knowing that she's awesome. But people ultimately need to find out what's best for them and feel those things out for themselves.

Awhile ago I actually contemplated a more serious "general depression thread" as I am currently working my way through a topsy turvy bipolar disorder - but I think you'll find that this thread exists as a soapbox, not pleas for help.

If I could magic all the sorrows away, I would do it. I still give it a good effort though.

[Sirus]

I didn't mean to sound judgmental. If I did I apologize.

[KaelGotDwarves]

Oh, it doesn't sound judgmental, but it is a casted net of doubt on sad people and their own perceptions of their sadness/illness.

Telling them to seek help is good, but chances are if there was an easy way out to be "not sad" it stands they would have done the obvious already.

[Reudh]

I was severely depressed but I got over it. I saw a psychologist for a long time, but not anymore.

[SalmonGod]

Just learned this

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes."

is not actually a William Gibson quote, according to Wikiquote.  Still, this is what I generally have to say on the subject.  I've gone through some serious depressions, but always had good reasons for them.  I've had people try to push diagnoses and drugs on me a few times, but so far I'm glad I've never accepted them.

[scriver]

I still find that qoute ridiculous. "Being surrounded by assholes" might be a cause of depression and bad self esteem, but it doesn't change anything if you've already got it. It's like saying "before you diagnose yourself with severe bloodloss, make sure you're not just surrounded by razorblades". If you want to say anything actually meaningful, it should be "if you want to do something about or prevent depression and bad self esteem, begin by making sure you are not surrounded by assholes".

[Darvi]

When you're surrounded by arseholes, there's a good chance of you not being depressive.

A better example for what you said would be "before you diagnose yourself with severe bloodloss, make you're you're not surrounded by open cans of tomato sauce". You still might be bleeding due to how sharp cans can be, but you could just as well be covered in sauce.

Or maybe that's not a good example, but eh.