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[kaijyuu]

Mmmm yeah, sounds like it could be solved with some communication. Be up front about stuff in relationships instead of expecting them to realize it on their own.

Unless of course he's pushy. Pushy people aren't good.

[Vector]

Yeah, hey guys.  I've been through a bit of a wringer.  Won't be here long--probably just over part of winter break, which hasn't started yet, but I'm taking a bit of a break (finals just started).

On the other hand, I'm going to be published in the American Mathematical Society's journal in the reasonably close future (not for mathematics, but as a co-translator of something).  That's not too bad.


Squidhead is pretty pushy and made it rather clear that he expected a lot more touching than I'm willing to put up with at this point.  It's not that I didn't talk to him; it's that he let me know what his expectations were.  We'll be talking on Friday after my last final, but I'm bracing for impact.  I don't really want to go back through the whole "getting used to someone's body" thing again until I'm dating someone I'm really attracted to again, and it'll be fun.  I also don't feel like going through the whole history of abuse right now, and explain why glomping may be cute in various shows, but it scares the hell out of me.  I put in an effort to drop hints to all the things that he might need to know (bisexual, genderqueer, AS, some baggage/self-esteem issues--last time I pretended to be something other than I was, I was upbraided for being evil, so I'm trying to cover the bases this time), but apparently it wasn't clear.

My mom will be giving me crap for not giving in, but then, she's not exactly the one driving the monster truck here.

[Mephansteras]

My only advice for you is to keep in mind that a fair amount of touching/cuddling is what's expected in a relationship. Not saying you need to follow that expectation, but make sure you're aware that that's probably where he's coming from. In this case what you're comfortable with is outside of what most people expect so you may need to make sure you explain you side of it well.

If he's worth keeping, he'll respect your feelings on this and agree to move slowly. If not, well, better to end a relationship that won't work out earlier rather than later.

[scriver]

Vector, please report to Happy Thread for Great Welcome Party and the usual ceremonial Eating of your avatar.

No, but seriously. It makes me sad that your first post is in the Sad Thread. Please share a Happy Cookie with me.

[Vector]

Heh, I even updooted my avatar, just for you :3


Meph, as far as the dude goes, I am more than capable of being a snugglemuffin.  It just takes time... and I really didn't want to have to have Serious Conversation this soon.  Also takes me time to figure out if I'm attracted to someone or not.

What pricked me is that he's shown other instances of being bad about boundaries previously in this little relationship, so his expression of entitlement to cuddling right after I asked him not to grab or glomp me rang poorly.

In any case, I'm still kind of in relationship depression limbo, so it'd probably be better for me not to date, anyway.

[alway]

Egads. It would appear our 2D game project causes my computer's graphics drivers to implode every time it tries to render. That was unexpected. D:

[quinnr]

So apparently if you want to be competitive on college applications you should have four (4) years of foreign language. Last year I moved in the middle of the year and all the language courses were full.

So now I will probably have to take two languages in one year, and I really don't want to take two different languages at once. I like my German. I am going to get them all jumbled up and blerggh.

And I started looking at colleges and I still don't have any idea what I want to do. I used to want to be a biologist or something similar, but now I'm considering a system admin or other IT type of degree. But yeah, it just drives me crazy that I'm supposed to choose what the majority of my life will be about in just 3-4 years from now, max. And then there's the whole money part of going to college, which will suck unless I can get lots of scholarships. And even then it'll suck.

[Duke 2.0]

And I started looking at colleges and I still don't have any idea what I want to do. I used to want to be a biologist or something similar, but now I'm considering a system admin or other IT type of degree. But yeah, it just drives me crazy that I'm supposed to choose what the majority of my life will be about in just 3-4 years from now, max. And then there's the whole money part of going to college, which will suck unless I can get lots of scholarships. And even then it'll suck.

Still no idea what I want to do after three years of classes. Doesn't help that advisors suggested I try out a number of things but registered me for generic classes every degree would use and ultimately railroaded me down a general education course.

Something will come up.

[Lord Shonus]

Anything tech-related isn't really dependent on language credits, in my experience. I have friends whio went to FIT and MIT without a single one. Even for most decent-to-exellent non-tech schools, one or two years should be adequate. (This is for US primarily, but it was also true for the few European schools that my classmates looked at.)

[Trapezohedron]

Gah, I feel stupid, both in this forum and in real life. Each time I try to talk to someone/type something here, I feel like I'm not making any sense. Perhaps I should try reading something intelligent or do something that actually improve my life.

[Johuotar]

Drunken guy stopped me asked for money to get home and I dared not to say no. There goes my lunch money. At least the guy wasn't as intimidiating as the last one, I thought I was going to get mugged for sure back then. :S

[Vattic]

If you're worried about being robbed just say your skint and can't even pay the bills this month. They should at least feel sorry for you. Admittedly this is the advice I was given for if someone offers to sell me drugs as there was a local group who robbed anyone who refused.

[MC Dirty]

If you're worried about being robbed just say your skint and can't even pay the bills this month. They should at least feel sorry for you. Admittedly this is the advice I was given for if someone offers to sell me drugs as there was a local group who robbed anyone who refused.

That's pretty good advice right there. Although I'm not sure if I could use it. Not that I don't look like I could be skint, but I really hate making people feel sorry for me. It makes me feel absolutely horrible.
Of course, stuff like this rarely happens where I live anyway and lying is definitely preferable to getting mugged, so I'll keep that in mind. Always better to be prepared.

[Trapezohedron]

If you're worried about being robbed just say your skint and can't even pay the bills this month. They should at least feel sorry for you. Admittedly this is the advice I was given for if someone offers to sell me drugs as there was a local group who robbed anyone who refused.

I recall an article in Joystiq that a gamer was robbed, but the robber changed his mind after he heard the guy tell him it was his birthday. The robber strangely felt sorry for him, wished him a happy birthday and decided to leave him alone.

I could scrounge up the relevant article, but it's too old to be of any worth.

[ChairmanPoo]

Of course, stuff like this rarely happens where I live anyway and lying is definitely preferable to getting mugged, so I'll keep that in mind.

People tend to think that stuff doesn't happen, until it happens.
I used to think muggings were rare too (and in fact I live in one of the countries in Europe with less crime rate overall). Have you checked the statistics? You might get surprised http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_tot_cri-crime-total-crimes

 The one mugging I did experience (not the only one I've learned about) ended up with me getting beaten up badly, despite the fact I cooperated. My advice is to run as fast as you can.