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[Bohandas]

one-page "essay" assignments in my introductory rhetoric course, where we're apparently supposed to constrict an entire argument into one paragraph, and an entire close reading into another.  This is stupid.   Fifty pages and the thread and the justifications and all those movements are not going to fit in one paragraph.  There is no point in writing out a close reading of a little tiny passage in one paragraph.  It is just not happening.  "Boy, Hobbes hates Aristotle a lot!"  No, that is frankly... it's stupid.

I 100% agree with your opinion of one-page summaries. They can't honestly expect you to put all of your thoughts down in that much space. It's mainly annoying to me because the professor is usually just trying to cut back their workload. I don't see how even half a page extra would kill them.

Back when I was first writing essays, I had a lot of trouble making them long enough. Usually I had said everything I felt there was to say about the subject before I'd even reached a single page (usually it was supposed to be 2 pages).
My English teacher told me that what I said was usually knowledgeable and insightful, but I needed to learn to bullshit more, and that an essay just needs to make you sound like you know your shit.
Heck, that's the entire point of an essay, to "prove" you know what you're talking about. They don't have to contain any insightful information, just make it sound like you've put a lot of thought into this. Which is generally what you should be aiming for...
I've always hated that... I never actually got good at writing essays.

Heck, this took me 45 minutes to write. I've never been good at getting my thoughts together on paper... But I try.

Exactly! I believe it was Scott Adams (the creator of Dilbert) who said "If God came down from Heaven and explained all the secrets of the universe on a single page, people would say 'That's all well and good, but I'm mostly paying for the cover!'"

I guess school is all about learning to communicate ineffectively so that people will take you seriously.

[Criptfeind]

My trees that used to have lichen growing on them now have moss growing on them.

DAMN YOU GLOBAL  WARMING

[Pnx]

I always click Pnx's spoiler-signature thinking that THIS TIME! This would be the time it's not whatever that is, and now, as always, I am dissappoint.

One day it will change, and you will never even know it happened.

VECTOR EATS STRESS PUDDING FOR BREAKFAST! AND THEN SHE HAS SECONDSIES! AND NOT A SINGLE FUCK WAS GIVEN!

  Don't mind me just operating on no sleep and adrenaline kicking in.

When normal people have epiphanies at crucial moments, resulting in unprecedented skill, they have taken a level in badass. When badasses have epiphanies at crucial moments, resulting in unprecedented skill, they have taken a level in Vector.

You know, I've been meaning to come up with a list of Vector facts. I'd probably get started if I wasn't feeling so ick.

[Bohandas]

In practical terms, if you reallyu need more space for your one page report, check the assignment to see if the professor has specifically stated that you cannot use "legal sized" sheets of paper. If there is no such restriction, then this can buy you an extra three inches to work with (assuming that your printer supports this antiquated format).

HA! Sorry, I just get this mental image of a student walking in with a scroll or something about 50 feet long. "But teacher, you only said one page! You didn't say how large the page could be!"

Seriously, though, if the teacher doesn't give a base format in the syllabus, it's their own damn fault when a student told to be concise comes in with a piece of paper larger than one of the classroom walls.

E: Incidentally, I'd love to watch that happen.

I've also used time-zone differences as an excuse for handing things in late.

[Truean]

Criminal client cursed at judge in open court today, because the world just ... loves me extra special awesome.... Shit. Right...to...remain...silent. Seriously, that's like 12 distinct kinds of stupid and I'm only able to handle about 9. I could maybe squeeze it in if it was 10 kinds, on a really good day 11, but 12? You just.... Wow. And, I fully expect a loss no one should question but they still will.

Where do they come from; more importantly, how do I send them back...?

[Urist Imiknorris]

Your stories tend to brighten my day by virtue of the fact that I don't have to deal with these people with any sort of frequency. Thank you for facilitating schadenfreude.

[Bauglir]

Truean, you have my undying gratitude for putting up with this shit to defend that whole "always entitled to defense" thing, and not even halfassing it as a consequence. I'm not sure if you're actually working as a public defender (it doesn't sound like it from past posts, I think), but in any case, being able to defend people who probably don't deserve it, to ensure that people who do don't slip through the cracks, is admirable.

[RedKing]

Truean, you have my undying gratitude for putting up with this shit to defend that whole "always entitled to defense" thing, and not even halfassing it as a consequence. I'm not sure if you're actually working as a public defender (it doesn't sound like it from past posts, I think), but in any case, being able to defend people who probably don't deserve it, to ensure that people who do don't slip through the cracks, is admirable.

I think a lot of lawyers do public defender work pro bono. That, or she just works for a firm with a really low threshold for whose cases they'll take on.

[Kogan Loloklam]

Here's my Legal related issue.

Today my Lawyer said they need another $1200 prior to the 25th of October or they cannot continue my case.

To date they have spent over $5000 of my money on actions that resulted in delay after delay with no progress except pushed back court dates again and again. Now they want another $1200 in 15 days(16 days is my "new"{x4} initial orders hearing) and an additional 2000ish before November 25th as well (November 25th is my "new"(x2) final orders hearing) or they drop my case. Just prior to actually taking some kind of action that could be beneficial to me. This is 2 days after they cut me completely off for not making a payment they never informed me of. And 2 months  after dropping me for non-payment when I had made all the payments they requested.

I'm not rich. The only way I am not homeless in fact is because my family allows me to live with them. For whatever reason I am not finding employment, but I still manage to drag together a little cash each month to pay these lawyers, and then this happens. They have never done anything for me. I always thought that all this money previous was to "prepare" and have some kind of outcome. No outcome comes from the enormous use of money though. Well there has been ONE outcome, vacating dates and setting them out months further down the road. I guess that could be called an outcome.

How they sold me on the firm was that I provide them the cash up front, then every month I'd have to pay a certain amount of money until they were paid off. No mention of this "come up with x amount at the drop of a dime" that I can recall. To be fair I wasn't exactly thinking strait at that time, but I don't think they did say anything like that.

I feel sorry for Truean who got a client who didn't listen, but I'm not so happy with lawyers as it stands.

I even have stories about Public Defenders which cast them in more negative light than this does with my divorce attorney. Allowing a "victim statement" to stand uncontested which had a clear effect on how the judge chose to respond, with the victim's statement having deliberate falsehoods that are provable false by less than 5 seconds of effort. (Allegations of a violated restraining order... AND THE RESTRAINING ORDER DIDN'T EVEN EXIST!) and then refusing to talk to me afterward for even 5 minutes because "the case was closed" or however they phrased it.

Yea. Lawyers aren't no bag of roses either.
My estimates show that lawyers routinely have six figure income, with four figures in a single day being pretty common. Maybe I'm off, but I'd consider myself very fortunate and quite well off if I could get 120 dollars a day. It isn't any wonder that they don't see any problem with expecting me to come up with what they can easily get in a week.

[ChairmanPoo]

A friend of mine got screwed over bad by her (former) flatmates. The joke's on them as now she's performing far better than she did in that lousy flat with that trio of harpies.

[Truean]

[nods] Thanks.

The best part: I can't even acknowledge when someone does crap like that. Straight face, no break in decorum, though I know my arguments just got wayyyy weaker. Not public defender, firm. Not pro bono, usually appointment (cause I love working for free....) The pay is comparatively low actually. Legal fees: It's basically a crapshoot for most everyone involved. $200/$300 hour adds up quick. 5 hours is between $1000 and $1500. Billing it and collecting it are two very different things. Billing often doesn't mean getting paid, but the secretary still likes to eat....

Some lawyers feast; others famine; it's stupid. I won't repeat myself much here, but that's gross (before expenses) not net (after expenses). The expenses are big and suck and have to be paid upfront. Personally, if I weren't actually worried about people screwing ME over, I'd love to take a prepaid plan (sort of like representation insurance). That way I wouldn't have to run behind and in fear of the ambulance's brakes. Steady income, no hunting for cases. Meh.

In summation, the legal profession sucks at many things currently. Payment (in o so many forms) is one of them. I won't get off topic though, and I have neither the energy or patience to start a thread about it currently. Shit is going downhill fast; also I'm coming in on a day off cause clerk can't figure out computer issues. This job is incredibly technically demanding, I have multiple people looking over my shoulder (judge, opposing counsel, etc etc) and can't screw up. Also, truthfully promising results is actually difficult if not impossible cause you know, crystal ball jury mind reading software is buggy as hell. Grumble, grumble, mumble.

[RedKing]

I seem to have received a visit from the Sinus Fairy. Now my head is full of gunk and my throat is scratchy.

Thanks Sinus Fairy!
You BITCH.

[Simmura McCrea]

Thanks Sinus Fairy!
You BITCH.

Oops, I appear to have sigged that.

[Lectorog]

My English teacher is doing a rather poor job currently, I must say. Keep in mind that I'm in the advanced English class. It sure doesn't seem that way.

Our current assignment: Read chapters 8 and 9 from The Scarlet Letter. We have all weekend to do this. This progression is dreadfully slow.
Other assignment: A small project. He gave us a piece of paper. On one side, we draw two pictures; one of a literal image in the book, and one of what it symbolizes. On the back we write a paragraph about the symbol. I've had more in-depth symbol analysis in seventh grade, as well as it being for more than just one symbol. Symbolism in this book is pretty simple, anyway.

Every day, in class, we learn a new vocabulary word from the book. I think we should know at least most of what's in that book, and look up for ourselves anything we don't understand. Like real readers. Alas, the apes that are my classmates often don't understand the book at all, and more than half of the class resorts to reading SparkNotes.

The teacher also set up a message board for us. He wants us to make three posts there a week, several sentences each, to discuss the book. Two problems: 1) What's to discuss? We talk about it every day, for over half an hour. 2) Intelligent message board discussion. The two do not work together. It's really not a good format. Just discuss the thing in class; no need to type it out.

At the moment, I'm considering just planting an imaginary 'screw you' to the teacher, reading through the book as I see fit, and doing the minimum work required while scoffing at the rest of the class. I've done that in the past, though, and it tends to hurt my grade. I just can't stand the "advanced" courses at my school. I'm not learning anything. Nothing at all is being gained from this class now. I'm torn between anger and sadness, but rage doesn't come very often to me, so I have complained here.

[Dsarker]

My English teacher is doing a rather poor job currently, I must say. Keep in mind that I'm in the advanced English class. It sure doesn't seem that way.

Our current assignment: Read chapters 8 and 9 from The Scarlet Letter. We have all weekend to do this. This progression is dreadfully slow.
Other assignment: A small project. He gave us a piece of paper. On one side, we draw two pictures; one of a literal image in the book, and one of what it symbolizes. On the back we write a paragraph about the symbol. I've had more in-depth symbol analysis in seventh grade, as well as it being for more than just one symbol. Symbolism in this book is pretty simple, anyway.

Every day, in class, we learn a new vocabulary word from the book. I think we should know at least most of what's in that book, and look up for ourselves anything we don't understand. Like real readers. Alas, the apes that are my classmates often don't understand the book at all, and more than half of the class resorts to reading SparkNotes.

The teacher also set up a message board for us. He wants us to make three posts there a week, several sentences each, to discuss the book. Two problems: 1) What's to discuss? We talk about it every day, for over half an hour. 2) Intelligent message board discussion. The two do not work together. It's really not a good format. Just discuss the thing in class; no need to type it out.

At the moment, I'm considering just planting an imaginary 'screw you' to the teacher, reading through the book as I see fit, and doing the minimum work required while scoffing at the rest of the class. I've done that in the past, though, and it tends to hurt my grade. I just can't stand the "advanced" courses at my school. I'm not learning anything. Nothing at all is being gained from this class now. I'm torn between anger and sadness, but rage doesn't come very often to me, so I have complained here.

I had the same problem with my advanced english class. What made it worse was that the first semester of it, we had a wonderful teacher. No sarcasm. Best teacher I've ever had. Surprisingly, I tended to get good grades in the class. WHAT A SURPRISE.