My brother threw a full-blown temper-tantrum today. He's my fraternal twin.
I'm seventeen.
It just blows my mind for someone my age to act so juvenile, at a computer of all things. I just don't know how he can get so angry at such little things as a computer game or badmouthers or poor players. This isn't the first one he's had, either. Any time I try to tell him to step back or point out the flaws in his rage, he just yells at me to shut up or go away, with those exact words.
I really just wish he'd grow up a little. He doesn't realize that he isn't just hurting himself or the table when he bangs on things and yells. It hurts me, too, and here I am an hour later, posting about it.
I'm not sticking up for him, but hopefully this might help a bit with understanding.
Unfortunately a lot of people, grown adults included, don't get how to manage their feelings in a healthy way. Dealing with frustration and anger is difficult and even I'm not exactly a gold medal winner here by any stretch of the imagination. Currently, I drink too much, but I'm working on that.
Sure, he's blowing up at stupid things like a game or an inanimate object
and that's the whole point. He probably can't take out his feelings on things that aren't stupid, like people, or situations, that are majorly pissing him off. No, it isn't the healthiest response but it's better than blowing up at someone right in front of you. Note, I'm not saying this makes sense or that it's right. It doesn't; it isn't. I'm saying it's often what people do: find something else to take their frustration out on.
The whole point of this and the takeaway: he probably has something else bugging him that he can't or doesn't know how to deal with. The only thing you can do is not take it personally, which is easier than it sounds. I'm sorry; I'm afraid that's the best I can offer. I suspect you'll need more than you find from me.
That's... pretty disgusting, the situation yer being confronted with. I don't suppose you can attempt to talk this over with the other members of the committee? Terribly well aware it's probably completely useless, but it's the try that matters, neh? Or at least vote against it, I guess. Probably won't do anything, but hell. Yeh tried. Principles over prudence.
Going to echo Frumple there. Stepping down doesn't help the problem, but rather ignores it. Just stick to your principals and vote as your head and heart dictate.
O, I've brought it up with these wolves. My what deaf ears they have. B.S. explanations including "holistic approach," "well rounded person," and other such undefinable terms in the face of the scholarship trust's clearly defined criteria. She doesn't have the grades, extra circulars or pretty much any of the requirements, and especially so compared to the other kids. It isn't addressed; it's redirected, avoided and the kind of thing I'd hone in on in cross examination.
As for pragmatism, that depends entirely upon what one wishes to practice or accomplish. Here voting 1 against doesn't stack up to 4 votes for. It would be quickly forgotten and lost. If I actually wanted to really have effect, I'd have to blow the lid off this thing a la my usual digging skills, but a.) I don't have time for that, b.) pain... in... the ... ass, c.) I don't know the "proper" procedure for that and I'm sure there is one, (and if it's suing the trustees then auggh) d.) even if I went out with the news and proof, the other, legit recipients could be collateral damage....
I'm especially concerned about "d." I dunno if I should just cast the worthless vote against, or step down to avoid giving it the appearance of legitimacy, which it does not deserve.
The whole thing is pretty vomit worthy. It deeply sickens me.
I know this was 12 hours ago but I thought it worth mentioning, that even if you can't necessarily stop this happening, there are ways to "get your own back." And hopefully discourage it from happening again.
First up, try not to make too much noise. If experience is anything to go by they will try to kick you out and make your life miserable any way they can if they think you're going to cause trouble/are causing trouble.
Second of all, before you can do anything else, you need to squirrel away whatever evidence you can easily get. Essays and submissions, who voted for what. If you have transcripts of meetings or such those would be brilliant. I can't guarantee it will be of any real use but you might not be able to get it later on. Sometimes these things go missing. Again, I would be careful about this, and try to be subtle.
First up there's journalism. It's probably the easiest way to make an impact, although probably with the least effect. Send off the evidence to a bunch of media outlets with a note attached saying, "Hey, corruption over here!" They might not pick it up if there's more interesting things going on, or because it just doesn't seem trustworthy enough, but you might find they get flooded with bad press and lots of reporters asking irritating questions. I'd wait a while before doing this, maybe a couple of months so they have some time to forget about you, and all eyes won't immediately be drawn towards you.
But before you do that. I'd talk to the police. I'd be willing to bet their hands are tied and there's really not much that can be done. But talk to some people at a police station and try to get in touch with a detective. He or she can probably give you legal advice more solid than I can*. Even if there's nothing they themselves can do (because this is the whitest of white collar crime), they could probably put you in touch with one or two lawyers, and even if they can't I doubt it's that hard to track down a lawyer that can deal with corruption.
You might even try getting in contact with the people and families that are losing out here. Although a good lawyer will try to talk to these people themselves, getting a head start might not hurt. Although I worry they might make a load of noise and get you into trouble.
The way I figure it*, the people who didn't get the scholarship are in a position to sue. I don't know if you'd be able to use whatever you've got as evidence, but at least these people will know for certain the problem is there.
*Note: Strange people on the internet are not good sources of legal advice.[/
One last word of advice.
When a good man goes to hurt someone, he says hardly a word. When a bad man hurts someone, he gloats, brags, threatens, and taunts. Don't do any of those things,
Eh, unfortunately it's stupidly complex and I now understand it but don't care....
a.) I'm just filling in for someone temporarily, so I have no desire to stay.
b.) As a direct result, they can't influence me with anything including "getting rid of me."
c.) It's a scholarship trust. I'll avoid as much legalese as I can. Basically if the Trustees don't exactly follow the terms of the Trust when giving out scholarships, the trust is set up to stop giving scholarships and instead donate the entire res [money making up the trust] to a charity. The idea was that no trustee would be stupid enough to risk that and thus they'd do what the trust said.... The best laid plans of mice and men....
d.) End result, if those terms aren't followed, no more scholarship trust, no more scholarships, some charity gets a massive donation, but the kids get screwed.
e.) Of course, that's only if anyone finds out about it.... Thus, making any kind of noise or bringing it out would actually end the scholarship program and consequentially, make it so no one got scholarships again. <---- bad things.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9435513 times)