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[Jacob/Lee]

Alright.

I'm fine for now.

• I can touch my chin to my chest, which means there isn't any infection in my neck causing stiffness
• There's no redness behind my ear, so no infection there
• I'm not vomiting
• I insert half the tip of a swab in my ear (any farther and it hurts) and when I pull it out it's covered in brown crap. That means it's draining and I shouldn't put any more drops in it

tl;dr
I'm fine, the infection is losing hold and it is getting better.

Well, thanks for the advice (and scaring me out of my wits...) Bay 12, you made me sleep roughly, then peacefully again. Thanks for the help, without you I wouldn't have anything to look forward to out of this.

[ToonyMan]

I am so aggravated!

I'm not sure why I even started college.  I've done everything right up to this point and I just started my second week and I have my whole goal sorted out and everything but I am so unsatisfied!  Sure learning new stuff is cool but I wouldn't call it what I would want to do myself!  What would the world be like if everybody did what they wanted most?  I don't know what I want most so I guess that's where I end my adventure.
I got a cell phone like ten days ago for the first time in my life and the first thing I have to do is add my Dad to it, argh.  He called me a few days ago and he wants to go camping this weekend because it'll be "the last warm weekend" and I said okay but what I was really thinking was "no Dad gog no I have college work and I don't want to get eaten by bears" but then again I can bring my textbooks up into the mountains and study there so I accepted that firmly.
My sleep schedule is trash.  Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday are heavy-load days so I get no sleep because I just have to get a few hours of manga/VN/LN reading out of the way.  I shouldn't even be awake right now if I want a healthy amount of sleep, oh well.
One positive note is that classes seem fine.  I've had a looksie of all my classes now and it doesn't seem hard at all.  I know that it's just a horrible thing to say supposedly but I really don't care about my grades as long as I understand what's going on.  If I do B work and get a B then whatever.  If I do C work and get a C then so on.  I don't expect to fail this semester because I really don't think I have time to worry anyway hohoho.
I'm trying to be depressed here but it's difficult.  I could still state how lonely I am, but that doesn't matter because I made that decision myself and it's not like I don't talk to people.  I'm social-able with peers, talk to my brother, and chat with people on Steam daily.  I just typically act aloof in public like some moody loser and only respond like some higher being of insert mythological being here.
I could say I am unsatisfied with the world but again, I have to make my own impressions.  I need to feel good for my accomplishments and where I am from my past (my past is baaaaaaaad).  I'm in college!  And it's easy! (I know I'm not suppose to say this but shuuuuuuuut uuuuuuuup I'm a good kid) Sure, it's a time-eater spawned by the devil himself but it's a way for me to actually go outside every day and do stuff instead of...doing what I enjoy.
This is where the main inner conflict rises I believe.  I'm going to college and that's great and all but I'm losing out on what my pure inner self wants to do.  I want to bunker down and never see the sun again.  I don't want to go outside and have to talk with strangers awkwardly like some stroked duck.  But I'm doing this to myself and I don't know why.  I lost my goal for academic success in my Sophomore year of High School.
I actually enjoy these kinds of conversations.  I like being introspective, I like riding the introspective train in orange land.  I love psychology.  If it was available I would have took it this semester even if it's not related to my major.  Living in a household full of non-thinkers is a bit more lonesome I admit, but then again I've never grown up in an intellectual environment in the first place.  I have no idea why I am who I am today.
TANGENT
Speaking of people's personalities.  I wonder what causes that.  I know environment is suppose to be important but it's too broad.  I guess the time you grow up in factors it.  I can't imagine who I would be without mah interwebz.  I don't even know if I would recognize myself personality-wise.  See, what factors who we are?  To be blunt I think we all behave how we are that day just because that's how our body works, the brain and stuff and everything else I'm uneducated in.  Some other anonymous person on the internet reading this probably has his own theory and there may even be some concrete proof of something but I'm typing this post now and I'm not looking at any sources.
Hmmm, personally I think my own personality is really really passive.  Growing up I learned to never engage in anything because it's just trouble.  I wouldn't want to argue with anybody and I'm sure my parent's fighting helps support that because I hate it.  I would ask why do people have to fight but this already no-purpose post is losing content rapidly.  I swear if somebody tried to mug me I have no idea what I would do.  They probably would have a small knife (hopefully) and ask for money.  I hope that doesn't happen, hehehe.
Why am I so cruel to myself and why do I feel weak in every decision I make?  Even now trying to sort my thoughts it feels like I'm doing the wrong thing.  Somebody will hate me for this.  I can't say how many but somebody will definitely hate me for this.  Somebody will also possibly quote this and say that's incorrect or something but in the end it doesn't matter because I swear 80% (bullshit statistic) of everything I read I get absolutely no emotional response from because it just doesn't effect me in any way, shape, or form.  I'm a selfish teenager of the 'me' generation I think?  I always like buying stuff for myself!  Why, the last time I bought something was only four months ago and it was books!
Yes this post is all about me, me, me.  I know I wouldn't read it because it was okay at first and now it's just getting stupid.  I'm even referencing this post while posting this post so you know it's bad.  Sigh.
Well, in any case.  College is leaving me no time to be depressed, I have no time to do anything satisfying yet at the same time I also don't care about the effort I put into my work (but I will put in as much effort as possible because  ┐(￣ー￣)┌ a witch did it), and my Dad wants me to go into the mountains again because it will just be too cold the next weekend!  Not that it matters, next week will be the full five days.

If I had more inane thoughts to post I'll make sure to not go to sleep for tomorrow's 8am class and MAKE MY VOICE HEARD.

I don't want money!
I don't want fame!
I don't want beauty!
I just want happiness!!!
>:O

Wow tomorrow's schedule is fucked I'm so fucked hahaha

haha
hahaha
hoho

ha

[Vector]

Never mind, still working... somehow.  Just very tired and at this point I'm starting to go "hahahaha, just use Zorn's Lemma" or "hohohoho, that's obvious from the definition of fibers!" and then I kick myself and go "wow, Vector, you're not supposed to know that yet."

So tired =/

[Cthulhu]

My college starts thursday.  I'm doing an admirable job of pretending that I'm not just trying to postpone real life while I figure out what I want to do.

I'm pretty sure I want to teach English.  I'm worried though, because Ohio's education is kind of fucky.  My dad made a suggestion that sounded pretty good though, join one of those extracurricular learning centers, like Sylvan or whatever, and teach there.  It's private, so Ohio's fucky education doesn't matter, and I'll be helping kids push themselves way too hard so they don't end up like me.

[Criptfeind]

Shit. Cthulhu teaching. Why does that make me burst out laughing?

[Dsarker]

Cthulhu, that sounds admirable. I kind of wish I had the qualities required to be a teacher.

[ECrownofFire]

Shit. Cthulhu teaching. Why does that make me burst out laughing?

Can you imagine his schedule?

Methods of Madness
The Destruction of Civilization and You
Necronomicon Study

[JoshuaFH]

- Awesome Snip -

I really liked your post Toon, and I've said it before, you're a smart guy and you know what you want. You're on the up and up, getting a hold of your own life and starting to forge your own path. I'm sure that you'll find that once you are 100% your independent self, you'll find that your perspective will improve.

In short: It's ok to only spend things on yourself, and I wouldn't preclude bear attacks from campus life.

[Scaraban]

Related to Toony's rambling post of feelings: If someone tries to mug me, or someone else when I'm around, or tries to rob my restaurant, I am going to do everything in my power to choke that piece of shit out, because I am building up a lot of violent impulses and they have to GO somewhere. Like around some asshole's neck.

[Vattic]

I had a dream yesterday about a group of old friends I haven't seen in a long time. After college (UK highschool equivalent) finished I avoided everyone due to a sense of shame over the lack of direction in my life. In the dream they were a little angry at me for this but I had a great time with them. I woke up regretting avoiding them, missing them greatly, and it's still bothering me today. I thought I was coping with my almost total solitude but these kind of dreams and feelings are getting more and more common. I want to get back in touch but it's been a few years and I don't know if it's appropriate.

Just came back from the movies.
Apparently I was the only one who went there alone.

Eh at least it was a comedy. So I'm not really that sad.

I can't bring myself to go alone. Partly through fear I'd bump into someone I know (see above). Luckily there hasn't been anything I've wanted to see but this will have to change when the Hobbit rolls around.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Bleh, the bus I usually get didn't turn up, which means either waiting for the next bus and missing the first class and half of the second, or spending £10 that we really can't afford on a taxi.
Great to be back at college eh? ><

[kaijyuu]

I want to get back in touch but it's been a few years and I don't know if it's appropriate.

Unless you burnt your bridges on the way out (and hell, maybe even if you did) go for it. They'll probably be overjoyed to hear from you, least if your friendship wasn't one sided.

[Mindmaker]

You know what I'm tired of?

People insulting the liberal arts or sciences out of hand.

Heh. I'm looking forward to being looked down upon by 'real' scientists.
Well, time to polish up my rhetorics to kick their condescending asses.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Bit/stung by a lone fire ant. No idea where it came from.

[Haspen]

Bit/stung by a lone fire ant. No idea where it came from.

From the ceiling. Never heard of ninja attacks from fire ants living in the empty space between your ceiling and next floor/roof?