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[freeformschooler]

Well since your library time is probably up by now apples, hope you get your power back soon! I know I would be painfully bored without power. And internet.

[Truean]

Yeah, thanks!  It's mostly okay.  I'm kind of surprised by how thick my skin is on this sort of issue... it hurts a lot less than it used to, and now all I feel is a vague disappointment that she didn't take the opportunity to bury the hatchet.  If not for the haircut-history, I'd probably say "Well, whatever, jerks gonna jerk," but I sort of wish she'd taken it as a positive symbolic act.

Or maybe she is and she's just waiting to see if I'll take her crap (i.e. express goodwill).  Faugh, who even knows anymore

[Nod nod]. I know all about the crazy siblings, to an insane and at times felonious against me degree. This includes but is not limited to assault, extortion, fraud, etc, etc, etc. Between what I do to stay closeted and what I've done to fend these monsters off, I believe we're official well past rigmarole status.

I just wanted to let you know that I understand where you're coming from and precisely why you can't fight back. I've been there and know it sucks. People who haven't been there will say something like "Just don't take that anymore," as if you somehow hadn't thought of that blatantly obvious idea.... If it were really that easy.... The nutty thing is that no matter what solution you try, you're actively resisted and the bad relative, won't just let you go.

Concerning dealing with the situation with family members around, I've found using calm, intelligent, passive aggression helps. That's just me though, and my insane situation I won't even get into here. I wish I had an answer to give, but....

[KaelGotDwarves]

I have a friend in a bad state. I don't know how to respond.

But I'm off to distribute hugs and be there.

I regret I have but so many fucks to give for my people.

[Dsarker]

World of Warcraft is implementing a feature that lets you wear whatever equipment you want for looks while keeping the stats of other equipment.

Why is this sad? Because they know my weakness.. They're trying to draw me back into the game with promises of playing dress up, and are succeeding. The roleplayer in me demands I make my old characters look awesome and reflecting of the various personalities I've placed on them.

Dammit, dammit, dammit. I nearly didn't know about this feature at the same time as I've been given a seven day 'get back into WoW free' card. I'm not sure whether to do it or not. I don't think I want to (because I know there have been times when I couldn't stop playing WoW. An addiction, as it were.) and I don't want to take the chance when I have both Latin and Greek to learn as well, but it is very tempting. Blizzard, damn you. Damn you for giving me what I want.


DAMN YOU.

[Scaraban]

Listen to people who don't really know you when we say we KNOW you. Don't do it, man. Stay strong.

[Vattic]

My hands are aching from my first night back at work after a two week break. Luckily I haven't got any cuts this time. It's odd because my hands are the only part of me to have lost fitness. Now I'm back at work expect my usual moaning about it to return.

On the topic of families: Luckily I haven't anyone who actively makes me awkward or upset. I have a huge family but a good chunk isn't blood related but the result of some messy breakups and merged families. My extended family is completely broken. My Grandfather on my Mum's side committed suicide when my Mum was little and his side of the family tried to steal the family home from them and much of the land my Grandfather had farmed. They won the house back but gave up on perusing the land. This means we don't see any of them which I'm glad of because they sound like total bastards. Things are a little complicated on my Dad's side too but his side of the family and the problems are tiny by comparison to my Mum's. And the non-blood family members have small and / or complicated family relations also. This all means we don't really have extended family get togethers which I can't say I'm that upset over.

Related to above: My secondary school trialled having each student attend a weekly session with a counsellor. I was one of the students selected. I never realised how messed up and complicated my family was until I tried to explain it to him. Just explaining who was in my immediate family and how I was related was complicated enough.

[Dsarker]

On families....

My mother's family was a little messed up. One of her brothers threatened to kill her, to the extent that she had a police bodyguard. She was sexually abused by her grandfather...to her parents' and grandmother's knowledge, but who did nothing because they didn't want to 'kick him out'. Really bad stuff.

On other non-actually harmful to her parts, one of her brothers is illiterate, is dating a person older than his mother who has a child older than him. Another is dating a person in Russia and went there for two weeks to visit her. We live in Australia, by the way.

[Solifuge]

Bleh jobs. I'm already only getting 3 hours at work per day, and for the second time now they've cut me from the floor as soon as I come in, because UPS can't afford to pay me for my scheduled shift. I can't live off of 15 hours of minimum-wage work per week, let alone 12! It's simply not sustainable.

For now, I'm back to job hunting once more. I can't just "go to school, and wait for the economy to get better," as friends and family have advised me, because I can't even afford to live, eat, and have a home right now, let alone afford tuition, bills, or pay what debts I have. Hell, I haven't even been able to go grocery shopping for months, and have been subsisting on bulk items like rice, beans, breads, and pasta... and taking advantage of any free meals anyone I know is offering.

After more than a year of fruitlessly hunting for decent work in my area, I've settled for what crappy jobs I can find, which amount to little more than a drop in a bucket. It's all I can do to just keep trying, doing what work I have as much as I can, and throwing enough applications out there, whether or not I'm qualified, in hopes that one of them sticks... and possibly won't turn around and screw me and my financial plans over once I'm hired in.

The clock is ticking down to me being completely destitute, and with each day passing I am having a harder and harder time seeing this getting better. Everything in me is screaming to leave... go anywhere else in hopes that things are better, though I know they're not. Just have to keep trying, even if it feels fucking hopeless.

Ugh. I hate this all.

[Vector]

Class going to start in a couple days.  I feel queasy and like my heart is chewing a hole through my chest.  I don't feel cut out for anything I'm doing and can't stand all these sudden changes.  Sometimes it feels as though I were being immolated by fear and love together.

A plan that changes is a plan that was imperfect in the first place.


@Solifuge: I'm sure you know my advice already.

[KaelGotDwarves]

Solifuge: It gets better, man. If you have to, suck in that ego and move in with family and friends. Take any non-super-sketch jobs off of craigslist. Do what you gotta.

You'll get by

[Dsarker]

Vector, an old WW1 'saying' comes to mind.


A soldier never worries. You can either be in a dangerous place or a safe place. If you are in a safe place then don't worry. If you are in a dangerous place, you can be one of two things. One is to be hit and one is not to be hit. If you are not hit then don't worry. If you are hit it is one of two things. It is either dangerous or slight. If it is slight don't worry. If it is dangerous you can be two things. You will recover or you won't. If you recover don't worry. If you don't, you can't worry.

In all these circumstances a soldier never worries.

[Aqizzar]

Bleh jobs. I'm already only getting 3 hours at work per day, and for the second time now they've cut me from the floor as soon as I come in, because UPS can't afford to pay me for my scheduled shift. I can't live off of 15 hours of minimum-wage work per week, let alone 12! It's simply not sustainable.

How long have you been working there, and what do you do?  I get at least 4.5 hours a night, and have never once been told to leave.  Come to think of it, that shouldn't be happening to you at all - company policy is that they have to give you something to do for at least 3.5 hours, so you can get at least 16 hours a week.  You might have to raise a stink about it, and who knows what bullshit they'll give you, but they do have rules for this stuff.

[Vector]

Unfortunate that the civilian life doesn't hold such simple binaries.

[Dsarker]

Unless you put it in one. I can totally work up a trite and probably completely incorrect version.

A Vector never worries. She can be either going to university or not. If she isn't, then she looks around for one. If she is, she can be either going to good classes or not. If she isn't, then she switches classes. If she is, she can either be getting good professors, or not. If she is, she doesn't worry. If she isn't, she doesn't need to worry. In this way a Vector never worries.

[KaelGotDwarves]

Vector, I've always felt that the best plan is to have no plan - but have ten backup plans, and backup plans for those backup plans.

All of life is improv anyhow.