I'm never going to pursue more friendships or another serious romance until I have proven I am a halfway decent excuse for an adult. Step One in that process is employment enough to support myself, because it is impossible to present myself as anything but a failure at life until I have my own residence and income. And I am never, ever, going to find a real job. I've missed every opportunity I ever had before, and now I'll never have one again - by the time there is any serious number of job openings anywhere that I can go to, I'll be too old and overqualified compared to all the people like current-me I'll be competing with, still with nothing to my name but a Bachelor's Degree of Nothing and a bunch of years as a part-time warehouse monkey.
It's even starting to fuck up my relationship with my family, which is kinda important, because I'm getting more bitter and resentful about my life by the day. This just compounds the problem, since I know I have no good reason to take it out on anyone (except myself of course, I can always use more blame). I feel like my parents could be more supportive, but the only thing my mind can think of as support is "tell me this isn't my fault, and that it really is as hard as I make it look" (which they kinda do, but I never believe, and I know they're getting sick of me whinging all the time, even if they refuse to admit it), and "find me a fucking job". That one's kinda up in air, since they just can't seem to grasp the difference in positions we're in - I have no professional experience or "connections" to call, I have no technical skills, and it's not 1981 - making all of their advice rather meaningless, when what I want is basically for them to do some of the "work" of finding a job for me. Which of course I resent myself for.