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[Duke 2.0]

 I left home to the Metro at around 10:00 this morning and just come back now at 8:30. Every bus left as soon as I got there, so I had to wait for the next one every time. Not the reason I'm down today.

 I finished a series of books. Every time I finish something I love it leaves a bittersweet taste. It was an excellent adventure, but the story has ended. I don't really have any particular fear of death or the afterlife, but this is what I imagine its like for those who have it. Still not the reason I'm down today.

 I was out to check out my financial situation at the college. They had just put some databases back up so I decided to check stuff there. Because I dropped a class last semester my financial aid was voided. I had until July 1st to renew it. I cannot blame anybody but myself for this occurrence, as I spent most of June dreading my grades and looking forward to a trip to Europe. I should have checked my stuff but was afraid that I might find this greeting me, and that I would not be able to fix the problem. This fear has been realized.

 Now I'm left doubting my own future. I wasted 20 years of my life with no skills to show for it. I have no constructive hobbies no talents no friends and no ethic. Any degree I would get would be of the basic general education types because I cant think of a field I would do well in. I cannot start my own freelance hobbyist improvement of my skills. I cannot go grab a job or internship because its a shitty economy and my dad has no faith in a job being available.

 If anyone's out there to see what I have done, can somebody tell me what I am to become?

[ToonyMan]

You're my friend Duuuuuuuuke.

[Vector]

I think my roommate may be harming herself.

Or she's getting angry enough that she's hitting something else.  Something solid-sounding.  Not like, say, a pillow.

I'm both frightened and worried.

Two minutes she was shouting "I hate you!  I hate you!" into her phone loud enough that I could hear it down the hall through a door, the next minute she was totally quiet and reasonable-sounding.

I just... I don't feel good about this.

[Nadaka]

Duke:  did you "waste" the first 20 years of your life? as in: you are about 20 years old? If that is the case, don't worry about it. Your just 20. You get over it.

[ToonyMan]

I think, you should enjoy yourself Duke.  Because I don't want to see you sad.  I don't want to see anybody sad because I am trying to be my best too.  We're all taking the right path, we just have obstacles along the way.  I want to see everybody enjoying themselves, that's what a truly feel.  I can't think of anything else to say right now.

[Vattic]

Spent most of my birthday alone. No contact from friends. Feeling lonely .

That shit sucks :/ *hugs*

*hugs back* thank you, though, I'm not blameless. Due to feeling ashamed of my current situation I let a lot of people drift away and being a good distance from them all didn't help or did depending on how you look at it.

[Max White]

I'm feeling worse and worse these days. Thought I would get better, but just feeling worse.
It is sort of funny, wanting nothing more than to break down and cry, but being unable to do so, just sit there and smile when people talk to you so that they don't worry. I'm sick of it, I am not ok and I'm tired of pretending to be.

[Burnt Pies]

That was how I felt through most of 6th form. Since leaving 6th form with my A-Levels, I've done absolutely nothing, and that was over a year ago.


More recently, I decided to try Tactics Ogre on the Snes emulator I downloaded earlier. I found the english translation, but my current Rom seems to have black screens in place of many of the info screens; shops, stat pages and many others. Gonna have to check out a different Rom, I think. This is quite annoying.

[Duke 2.0]

 Randomly my computer started to act real slow for no reason. Trying to bring up the task manager prompted an error saying it was disabled by administrator. I was in the administrator account. Oh hell.

 I immediately unplug my wireless USB dongle and restart the computer. Now it just loads on the xp loading screen forever, and trying safe mode makes the loading drivers list stop at mup.sys so the driver right after Mup must have some issue preventing me from entering. But this isn't even the strangest part. I know having a USB keyboard or mouse plugged in while the computer is starting sometimes causes issues, and I had to d it now just to make the power supply work, but one input won't register without the other. The keyboard inputs won't work unless the mouse is moving.

 I'm gonna start googling for answers, but if this becomes a large thing then I may not have much access outside of my sisters iPad. Greaaaaat.

Edit: ayup, Mup.sys is corrupted. Time for the classic hunt for the install disk.

[Aklyon]

Mup.sys? Hope you don't have a dell computer, all we found when my grandma's computer had that was a cardboard disk saying "You do not need a disk, Windows is already installed on your computer."
v.v

[iceball3]

Feeling a bit depressed. Not really cripplingly, but sighs a-beckons.

[Grimshot]

 Well, I examined my own mind and found that my self hatred is much more severe than I originally thought. I can't really see any positive aspects in my personality. This is one of the factors that contribute to my social anxiety, obvious as it is to me now. Rational thought tells me that I have at least a few positive qualities, my interests and goals are proof enough of that. I still feel as though I have none though. I'm not sure how to alter my feelings on this .

[jetex1911]

Let's just say that I watched the cursed tape called "The Ring". Afterwards, I got a call stating that I have seven days. When I asked what would happen, I was told "Your going to High School".

First year, too. I have one week left of freedom from school now. 

[Lysabild]

Spent most of my birthday alone. No contact from friends. Feeling lonely .

That shit sucks :/ *hugs*

*hugs back* thank you, though, I'm not blameless. Due to feeling ashamed of my current situation I let a lot of people drift away and being a good distance from them all didn't help or did depending on how you look at it.

We're in much the same boat, my birthday would've been by myself too if my family didn't force me to have one, so yeah. No matter how you ended up there, you still deserve comfort, and if it's not to be had in flesh then I'll give you some over the tubes.

[Bauglir]

Well, I examined my own mind and found that my self hatred is much more severe than I originally thought. I can't really see any positive aspects in my personality. This is one of the factors that contribute to my social anxiety, obvious as it is to me now. Rational thought tells me that I have at least a few positive qualities, my interests and goals are proof enough of that. I still feel as though I have none though. I'm not sure how to alter my feelings on this .

If absolutely nothing else, you're capable of the introspection necessary to recognize your flaws. That's something that surprisingly few people are able to do. It's absolutely key to overcoming those flaws, and you're not being held back by self-blindness. You don't have to fix everything, but you can see what there is to fix and make your decisions accordingly. So you've got that going for you.