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[Lysabild]

Dear German textbook:

Try this bullshit again and I am going to fucking light you on fire.  I cannot determine "agreement, pain, empathy, disgust, surprise, or admiration" from six interjections, just from rising and falling tones.

I hate you.  A lot.  Especially because I can't do this exercise and have to cheat by looking ahead at the segment that gives written context.

EDITED TO ADD: ON FUCKING FIRE BECAUSE YOU DECIDED THE HUMILIATION NEEDED TO KEEP GOING FOR ANOTHER EXERCISE AFTERWARDS

I think you're starting to get the idea, in Denmark we call German an angry language made for cursing and yelling :b The german stereotype includes sausages and loud voices.

... rage/sad : FFFFFFUUUU Open Office crashed after a big amount of work on my new conlang project ;_; I had just finished declension of female gender nouns and started on pronouns.

Save more often!

Blah blah :b Hindsight is the best sight, right?

You have my sympathies Lysabild what with me experiencing similar due to a powercut the other week.

:< It's a bad thing, especially because you've just put the work OUT of your mind, so it's HARD to remember it again.

[Vector]

I'm getting revenge on the textbook by having all of my "emotional" sentences contain mathematical information.

"Au weia!  Warum denkst du, dass 'Vier' eine zyklische Gruppe ist?"

Smallest non-cyclic group, that is :I  If you have to express pain, express it for bad math!

... Yeah, I'm beginning more and more to entertain the idea that I might be a little bit emotionally damaged.


EDIT: Great, this is also the chapter where we learn about sexism and racism.

[Heron TSG]

... rage/sad : FFFFFFUUUU Open Office crashed after a big amount of work on my new conlang project ;_; I had just finished declension of female gender nouns and started on pronouns.

Save more often!

This reminds me of my old CAD teacher, who wired up all 30 computers in the computer lab to a switchboard. Every five to ten minutes he would switch a computer or two off. If you lost your work, you had to redo it. Also, a fun rant would ensue.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE YOUR WORK? THERE COULD BE SASQUATCHES EATING YOUR POWERLINES! A TSUNAMI COULD WIPE OUT THE DAM! I COULD SMASH YOUR COMPUTER WITH A HAMMER! (possible other words) SAVE MORE OFTEN!"

[Lord Shonus]

I COULD SMASH YOUR COMPUTER WITH A HAMMER!

Er, how would saving help in that case? Otherwise a good way to reinforce a valuable lesson. I just hope you weren't using Inventor.

[Vattic]

Made myself something to eat and before sitting down to eat it managed to drop the plate smashing it and ruining the food. Now all I've got in the house is a tin of peach slices and some bread.

[Nadaka]

Made myself something to eat and before sitting down to eat it managed to drop the plate smashing it and ruining the food. Now all I've got in the house is a tin of peach slices and some bread.

Put peaches in a blender and spread it over toasted bread. You are welcome.

[sonerohi]

Made myself something to eat and before sitting down to eat it managed to drop the plate smashing it and ruining the food. Now all I've got in the house is a tin of peach slices and some bread.

Trade you. Can't get groceries til Friday, and all we've got is ten jars of spaghetti sauce, a few bags of chocolate chips, and three different types of cheese.

[Heron TSG]

I COULD SMASH YOUR COMPUTER WITH A HAMMER!

Er, how would saving help in that case? Otherwise a good way to reinforce a valuable lesson. I just hope you weren't using Inventor.

Nah, AutoCAD. And I guess he could avoid the hard drive.

[Nadaka]

Trade you. Can't get groceries til Friday, and all we've got is ten jars of spaghetti sauce, a few bags of chocolate chips, and three different types of cheese.

I can't recipe you out of that without some kind of carb, potatoes, rice, bread, noodles, anything. Though spaghetti sauce and cheese makes a really good starting point.

[Vattic]

Put peaches in a blender and spread it over toasted bread. You are welcome.

Not a bad idea but I've no blender and I just ate the peaches. I also forgot to mention that I've got margarine for spreading. Luckily I just found a tin of creamed mushrooms in the bedroom (no idea how they got there) which I'm going to have on toast, as per the picture on the tin no less.

[Vector]

Feh.

My female lipstick-wearing friend (i.e. Thyme, not Daisy) is currently learning to cook complete Korean meals and speak Korean so that she can move to Korea with her (first) boyfriend when they graduate college.  They've been dating for less than a year.  She is 20 years old.

I don't know what smarts worse: my worry for her (significant, given that we grew up together and I have a fairly good idea of who she is) or the blow to my pride as an ugly duckling.

It's mostly my ugly duckling, non-feminine pride talking.  I can't imagine loving anyone that much.  Learning their language, yes, absolutely.  Let's not get into that, because it's a long story.  But after less than a year, preparing to move to their country?  As a 20-year-old?  Geez...

She's like the total success story of nerdy femininity or something.  Plays D&D, speaks 5 languages (Korean, English, Chinese, French, Japanese; I'm being nice in including French, though.), plays video games, knows internet culture front and back, linguistics major, possesses breasts, enjoys cleaning, enjoys dressing up femmey and looking "naturally photoshopped," enjoys spending loads of time cooking for other people, wants to have a huge brood of genius children.

What the fuck ;_;  How did this even happen.

Did I go wrong somewhere?

Everyone treating me so nicely here makes me think that I didn't do anything wrong, and I am an Okay Sort Of Gal.  That is a wonderful shield!  Really!  I can feel it chasing this off, like a windmill spinning rainbow-colored flags into the darkness.

All the same, I guess I still feel just a little bit broody.  Better go fix the vacuum cleaner or something to remind myself that I still have some useful skills.

[Rose]

Don't worry, I'm sure somebody will make a clone of Genghis Khan, and you can move to Mongolia with him..

[sonerohi]

But that is just how she appears. It is extremely difficult to know a person in their entirety, and she might be hurting on the inside in a way that makes that other stuff irrelevant. Or, she might be fine on the inside and be Mrs. Prodigy. Either way, it isn't a competition and it doesn't diminish how swell you are. good god swell is an old person word I'm turning into uncle Herald

[Duke 2.0]

 My brother got married and moved to Switzerland when he was 19 to a girl studying to be a diplomat. They got to know eachother over watching the entire series of Star Trek. Its a risky position, but it can happen fine.

 I dont totally undersand what you mean by ugly duckling pride. Is it frustraion that your own qualities and interests dont attract somebody that loves you and you love? What specific features of your friend makes this so hurtful? You listed them yeah, but why do they cause problems for your self image?

[Vector]

... I also speak five languages (... or more if you count differently, because I've studied five more than that with some intensity, and she's barely started on a few of hers that I listed), so that part is really moot.  She's certainly no more academic prodigy than I am.  At this point, we have been in school for the same amount of time.

The main point is that it is so weird to see someone who has straight blond hair, blue-eyed, and enjoys every.  single.  bit.  of housewifeness.  And.  Yeah... someone who will happily defer to others to open pickle jars or do mechanical stuff, rather than insisting on learning to do it herself.  How strange.  A mythical entity.

Gonna go find my Genghis Kahn or something :I

I dont totally undersand what you mean by ugly duckling pride. Is it frustraion that your own qualities and interests dont attract somebody that loves you and you love? What specific features of your friend makes this so hurtful? You listed them yeah, but why do they cause problems for your self image?

I don't even know what's up with me at this point.

I proudly, stubbornly hold onto the part of myself that absolutely loves sweeping around in black clothing or a nice waistcoat, and has a bizarre flair for the theatrical and gaudy.  I have no logical reason to think that frizzy brown hair is inferior to straight blond, or that I'm any less lovable for being a girl who is relentlessly good at things.  Even cleaning and sometimes cooking, though I can't say I enjoy them.  For goodness' sake, I was raised by a father who would periodically say: "Vector, fight the fascists!  Bring down the capitalist pigs!"  So I'm trying.  But it makes me weird.  And I already kind of have a surfeit of weird going on in this little economic system.

And yes, I'm frustrated because the people who love me (outside of my family--can't forget them) seem to do so for my "purity," my intellect, or my "brokenness."  I do recognize these traits in myself.  It isn't that they don't exist.

Or no, I'm also frustrated because part of me is still so cautious and terrified of being hurt, or judgmental.  I can feel that someone is wrong, really, honestly, so I don't pursue them.  I am far too young for the people I prefer.

She likes cooking and cleaning and making babies.  It's societally sanctioned as the "natural" thing for a woman to want to do.

I feel like a freak of nature.  Doesn't help that people still ask me which country I'm from, despite my accent.  Doesn't help that they still want a pedigree of ethnicities and can ask me about my sexuality flat out.  Doesn't help that I've somehow become ageless, anywhere between 12 and 40 or more.  I feel that I know who I am, very well, but to the rest of the world I am lost in a plane of infinite space and cannot be met as a human being so much as a myth or a scientific curiosity.

And I'm not going to stop what I'm doing.  It would be easier to fall back and let the friable weight of centuries take their place, and to use the fabled glass ceiling as a looking glass.  But I refuse, unequivocally; and furthermore, I refuse to apologize.

But I am really very lonely.