Toony - Please don't take this as a personal indictment of your lifestyle, but I genuinely think it would help you.
Go outside and explore more.
There is life beyond the windowsills of reality that we call our keyboards and peer through monitors out at. Sometimes we find ourselves in the same day to day grind with no escape in sight.
It's times like these when my creeping depression sneaks back on me that I say, "fuck it" and take it to the world. We could be doing anything in the world, with anyone in the world - the possibilities dance slightly outside the realms of our perceptions, within the confines of our ability to learn, trust, and love. Tell yourself that you don't need money. You don't need attention. Just take to the road and stars with nothing but yourself and your own abilities. There are places out there that you can see that you have never seen, things to learn that you have not yet learned, and friends that you have yet to meet - and you might not see, learn, or become friends with them because of limits, because of our failures as human beings, because we have only
so much life before our physical shell breaks down - but make the effort anyhow. To do so in spite of all possibilities and odds against us, that is to develop strength, courage, love.
And in doing thus, we create for ourselves the meaning in our lives - and make a few friends along the way.
No excuses, you start living the way you want to live - today - or work your way up to that point, mentally and physically stronger every day. Take chances, make mistakes, get messy