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[Heron TSG]

I have noticed it more frequently than other forums. Then again, the other forums I have visited are either barren wastelands or uncomfortable-about-sexuality-online teenagers alone.

[sonerohi]

I'm either still pre-pubescent (at 16?) or asexual. Either way, neither gender interests me in the slightest, so I just force myself through the motions of a relationship to fit in.

[Aqizzar]

I'm either still pre-pubescent (at 16?)

It's certainly possible; you can look up late-onset puberty if your concerned, but you probably would have noticed a physical indication by now.  At any rate, it's not weird to feel alienated and unnatural, and if you're in a relationship at 16, statistically speaking you're doing pretty well.

[sonerohi]

I'm hoping I've hit puberty then, because if two feet in a year is my normal growth rate, the growth spurts will kill me. I would not have enough bones for my thirty foot self-tower.

[Ochita]

Hey. Yeah, Im gay. Bay12 does seem to have a large amount of people who are LGTB and pretty much no one is overly against LGTB.

[Vector]

I'll just call myself romantically conflicted and leave it at that in terms of labels.

I think most of it is that I actually cannot mentally visualize myself in a functional relationship.  I have no mental picture of it.  I can't even imagine sharing my personal space with anyone.  I think my ex-boyfriend came in my room... what, once in the two years we were together?  And that was because we'd been dating for a few months, I needed stuff out of it, and I figured I might as well show him (and my other friends who were over) where I lived.

I mean, sure, I've had roommates before, but I never brought enough stuff to show them who I was and how I live.  Kept the walls bare and had no decorations but a couple of photographs of my grandfather.

So... yeah, I dunno.  I am really, really big on personal space and boundaries.

But as far as the original question goes, I fall into your category.  Don't even "pass" as straight completely, though I've never been able to figure out why and am generally pretty good about not hitting on women nowadays.

Actually, I guess you could say that I'm apparently mathsexual--I have an instant attraction towards anyone who is overwhelmingly good at mathematics, though I'll also take skill in language >_>

And that's about all I can say on that one.

[TherosPherae]

Reading this thread and then reflecting on my personal life has made me... mildly sad, I guess. Because romantically, I'm... yeah, I don't even know. I've been in one "relationship" that was basically hanging out with a good friend more often and in seemingly more awkward ways than before. That lasted about a year. Since then, I've had pretty much every person I meet tell me that eventually I'm going to meet someone worth my time... and I'm still attracted to plenty of ladies (I'm straight as an arrow), but there's a part of me that knows that when I get into a romantic relationship, especially if I start one this early, it will end badly. Don't know if that comes from just too much drama TV as a kid or what, but... trusting people romantically just seems like a bad idea for me.

[ECrownofFire]

This should probably be a separate topic, but whatever. Those kinds of threads tend to instantly go to the negative though, even here.

Asexual here, sort of (it's on a technicality I suppose). I'm a little strange like that, but it's close enough.

[fqllve]

I think most of it is that I actually cannot mentally visualize myself in a functional relationship.

This is so very much the case with myself. Functional relationships require all kinds of work and concession, all kinds of sacrifice of personal time and personal desires, that I just cannot bring myself to make. I'm just way too selfish. When it's a choice between saving money for a car payment and buying a book I really want, the book wins every time.

My idea of a functional relationship is pretty much abhorrently casual.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

The last known geographical locations of sites for 92 missing nuclear weapons.

Even looking at that makes me feel anxious.

[ToonyMan]

I find myself with a backwards sleep schedule like last year during the summer.  Except this year I'll be going to college in the Fall.  College.  Me.  College.  I know I've grown over these past few years since I've gone back and looked at my more immature posts in the past which I do feel embarrassed about now but as with life everything changes as time moves on.  I'm just hoping it's for the better.  Anyway, prepare for a melodramatic post about my life currently since I feel I need to express myself to strangers on the internet and not, say, family (since I have no close friends).

I feel very lonely this summer.  My family is always out of the house and I stay in.  Sure I'll go out fishing with my Dad or help my Grandmother mow the lawn but I feel like I'm really just doing it to stay in touch with people.  If it's not obvious my life is very solitary so my thoughts wonder without anybody to distract me.  I find myself thinking about things and finding answers I'm not to fond of.  I'll lie in bed and realize I have absolutely no motivation or energy to get up.  I also find myself taking showers constantly to feel better about myself, otherwise I'll never be in a good mood.  The majority of the time when I wake up my parents and grandmother aren't even home.  I do my morning ritual before diving back into the world of fiction that I love and what is keeping me alive.  I really don't care about going to college or getting a driver's license yet this is expected of me.  I feel selfish yet at the same I realize my life has been much better than most.  Sure I lost my home and my parents hate each other but I still have my brother and my Dad and my Grandmother and none of them would want me to be dead.  I'm sure it would break their hearts.  I can't imagine what it would be like if my Brother was alone or my Dad found out that his proud son was gone.  That's too sad to even think about.

Those are the two things I can see myself living for.  Works of fiction and the connection I have to my family.  I know people love me but I have a hard time loving them back.  I do feel kind of emotionless at time, but I know for a fact I can feel.  I just have a hard time expressing it at the right moments.  Whenever I hear somebody approaching me I always unconsciously feel myself straightening my face.  I guess it's a flaw of mine.  Would that be because I don't like people judging me?  Yeah I'm pretty damn insecure.  I think I've mentioned before but I do feel really wrong with whatever statement I make.  I'll make a post say, and then I would just feel like what I said was completely wrong.  Yet, inverting the statement doesn't fix it either.  That would be insecurity I guess.  Maybe I just need a big 'ol hug of self-confidence.

I don't have many people to talk to either, and I suppose that's my fault too.  Yeah, I would say the majority of words I speak are actually not spoken words but written words.  I never go beyond confirmations with my parents.  Hmm, I'm starting to feel like I'm getting really off-track and wrong.  Sorry for making you read this.


I've tried to think of a solution while depressed but obviously that doesn't work out.  Actually, today (err yesterday) some friend of my Mother's stopped by with her child.  Now I've seen this child many times already yet every time seeing how energetic he is makes me smile.  I love that energy.  I wish I had it for real.  I do remember having that energy when I was around his age, why did I have to lose it?  Is it my fault?  Is it my fault that I can't smile at myself?  It would have to be my fault, since I'm the one to make that decision right?  I could smile through anything if I wanted to?!  But no, I don't do that.  It would be better if I stopped thinking about it and just did it, heh.

Still, even spilling my thoughts out in this post hasn't really changed my disposition.  It just feels like 20 minutes went by suddenly.  That's okay though, since I just wanted to draw attention to myself ha ha ha.  Nah, I'm kidding.  I think I should get some nice bed rest now, later guys.

[breadbocks]

The last known geographical locations of 15 missing nuclear weapons.

Even looking at that makes me feel anxious.

The good news is that the larger portion don't have their fissile cores.

[Simmura McCrea]

God damn it Valve, I was doing so well in not buying anything in your sale, but it was Terran Conflict for only £5. You bastards.

[Jopax]

I was just told that one of my friends is in the hospital, apparently he fell and hit his head yesterday, he doesn't remeber anything but atleast he's concious.

[Darvi]

God damn it Valve, I was doing so well in not buying anything in your sale, but it was Terran Conflict for only £5. You bastards.

Only? I think we non-americans get ripped off for not using dollars :V

I think I should move to Japan so that I can buy shit for 5¥. :3